Making something small bigger?

[Astra Moon]

As a lesbian I've been told many times "Since you're a gay girl, it's ok, I accept you. It's gay guys I dislike." It bothers me. I'm told to leave well enough alone, that it means I'm fine, I'm accepted, so why challenge that? But I feel like it's wrong to ignore that they accept me simply because of my GENDER. Am I making something small too big? Or is this a legitimate feeling?

[Lexington]

Welcome to EC!

I'd say yeah, it's a legitimate gripe. A similar thing I've been told was "I don't like faggots. But hey, Lex, it's OK - you're one of the good ones." I mean, how exactly am I supposed to feel? "Wow, he thinks I'm special!"? The comment still suggests there's something wrong with me, but I've managed to somehow overcome it.

Lex

[Astra Moon]

It just bothers me. GUYS aren't accepted because it's "nasty" but girls are different...um...how? =/

[Tiny Catastrophe]

Welcome to EC and I totally agree with you. I have no problem with gay guys but some people do because they're ignorant and those people are annoying

[Rosina]

Hey hey Welcome to the family

Yeah, ramble of thoughts coming up for you, but I've found that's a common feeling, particularly on here, though I've discussed this many a time in my general peer group. When I've talked to straight guys about this, they are, generally, all for lesbians/bi-ladies but suddenly have them think about gay guys and they just freak.

I've not asked many why this is, but what little evidence that I've gathered, they LOVE the former beacause it's one of their ultimate fantasies to watch (or join in) and it's also highly sexulised in pornography, which doesn't help matters

The latter on the the other hand, I have a theory that it stikes a nerve somewhere - perhaps they're a little insecure about their sexuality, or just find it bewildering that there are guys out there who don't love boobs, which is rather scary maybe for them to comprehend. Maybe they even go as far as to put themselves into a hypothetical gay guy's shoes and go, "Okay so, I like guys and not girls, that means that when I what to get some I do-WHAT?!" and they quickly dismiss the idea; reasons for this, I'm not sure, though maybe something to do with the idea that has been instilled by society that all men must be strong, masculine and show little emotion etc. but you can't be those expected qualities with another guy intimately so it's just wrong because it's against societies norms?

I can't quite express this idea, but I hope that makes sense. And yup, it bothers me too.

[Ben]

First thing—I thought this thread was going to be about penis enlargement.

But that's totally fine and normal and respectable. I don't think it's any different to reacting to racism against other races or sexism against the other sex. Keep on being righteous!

[Pepsi]

Yeah that is not cool. Guys say the "I don't like gay guys but you're cool ryan" ones all the time. They think that's okay to say but it really isn't. It is incredibly offensive but someone else usually puts them in their place. Most people I know would say something to someone if they said a comment like that.

[Daryn]

Originally Posted by Ben

First thing—I thought this thread was going to be about penis enlargement.

That's what I thought too Anyway, I understand that a lot of people are okay with lesbians but not with gay guys. However, there are a lot of people who are okay with gay guys and not with lesbians. Just depends on where you are and who you're asking.

[Steven791]

I have ran across that issue a lot.. I live in Oklahoma (boo ) and I can't recall a time when I've ever heard someone say they hate lesbians, but I hear all too often that they hate gay guys. I don't quite understand it either, but I agree with Rosina. I think that (generally) most females are more open minded then men. Most straight men don't fantasize about being with two guys (or won't admit to it anyways).

[PianoHead57]

Hi!

A guy I know says he's fine with gay guys, but doesn't like "fairies", which is what he calls effeminate gay guys. And of course, he has no problem with lesbians.

Interestingly enough, he also says that he doesn't hate homosexuals, he just thinks they made a bad life choice. Every time he says this, I think to myself, "F you. With a shovel. Sideways."

Anyway, I think you'll find that guys often have a bigger problem with gay guys than they do with lesbians, because gay guys are "weird" and lesbians are "hot." Just another example of the disgustingly biased mindset of certain people.

[Astra Moon]

Wow, it's nice to know I'm not making a mountain out of a molehill. :-D
But, even in the small town I live in, in New York, I notice: For lesbians, life is just...life. We're not bothered, not discriminated against, just....left alone, pretty much. Rather on the other end of the spectrum, with gay guys, it's different. Their more introverted, closeted, & less accepted by the community. I've never run into any homophobia in my town. My gay male friend on the otherhand, he does, frequently. :-(

[Gleeko0]

Originally Posted by ben

first Thing—i Thought This Thread Was Going To Be About Penis Enlargement. !

I Tough The Same Thing! Lol

Originally Posted by PianoHead57

Hi!

A guy I know says he's fine with gay guys, but doesn't like "fairies", which is what he calls effeminate gay guys. And of course, he has no problem with lesbians.

Interestingly enough, he also says that he doesn't hate homosexuals, he just thinks they made a bad life choice. Every time he says this, I think to myself, "F you. With a shovel. Sideways."

Anyway, I think you'll find that guys often have a bigger problem with gay guys than they do with lesbians, because gay guys are "weird" and lesbians are "hot." Just another example of the disgustingly biased mindset of certain people.

Thats an interesting way of treating gay guys..because he doesn't directly hate gays, he isn't homophobic..but he doesn't support either. But if he is your friend i guess he accepts it?

he is a bit offensive though...

[Tornadored]

I have a co-worker who has said to me a few times that he is okay with me being gay because, I'm "normal" and not some "flamer" or "fairy." Also like everyone else has said he is down with lesbians cause their Hot. Funny thing is we've hung out a few times, and when he gets really wasted he tries making out with me. I'm sure it comes down to the fact he may be struggling with his own sexuality... idk.

[arflech]

Bishop Gene Robinson said it best: At its heart it's about misogyny, about the hatred of acting, and the fear of being treated, "like a woman."

[Revan]

Originally Posted by Ben

First thing—I thought this thread was going to be about penis enlargement.

You would.

As for the topic, I think it's ridiculous though it's like why should a lesbian be accepted but not a gay man? I wish I knew...I think they seem to see more lesbians as lipstick lesbians maybe? Whereas they just see gays as well...this



No offense to Richard but he is the stereotype....

[malachite]

Originally Posted by Lexington

Welcome to EC!

I'd say yeah, it's a legitimate gripe. A similar thing I've been told was "I don't like faggots. But hey, Lex, it's OK - you're one of the good ones." I mean, how exactly am I supposed to feel? "Wow, he thinks I'm special!"? The comment still suggests there's something wrong with me, but I've managed to somehow overcome it.

Lex

ooooooo them's fightin' words

[Emberstone]

Originally Posted by Revan

You would.

As for the topic, I think it's ridiculous though it's like why should a lesbian be accepted but not a gay man? I wish I knew...I think they seem to see more lesbians as lipstick lesbians maybe? Whereas they just see gays as well...this

Image


No offense to Richard but he is the stereotype....

I knew a 100% heterosexual guy who was effeminate to the point of richard simmonisem.

it just goes to show that it takes all kinds.

+ YouTube Video

[PianoHead57]

Originally Posted by Gleeko0

Thats an interesting way of treating gay guys..because he doesn't directly hate gays, he isn't homophobic..but he doesn't support either. But if he is your friend i guess he accepts it?

he is a bit offensive though...

Oh, no, he doesn't even know I'm gay.

[haelmarie]

Originally Posted by Ben

First thing—I thought this thread was going to be about penis enlargement.

Haha I know.

Bishop Gene Robinson said it best: At its heart it's about misogyny, about the hatred of acting, and the fear of being treated, "like a woman."

This.