I already have my own opinions, but lets have a stimulating chat. What are your opinions of shame verses guilt. Are they the same, or are they significantly different? My thought is that the two are completely different.
shame and guilty... when you feel guilty is like when you did something and took the responsability for doing it, followed by the regret of doing it. Shame...well, shame is like when you did something that you found unecessary and silly. Followed by regret too. Thatswhat i think =P
I thought they were: Shame : When society makes you feel bad or views what you're doing as wrong. Collectivist. Guilt : You feel bad because you didn't something your own morals say is wrong. Individual.
This is a great discussion, and keys right into the work of my current favorite researcher, Brene Brown. But, like Ty, I'll refrain a lil from sharing her take on it, because it would be interesting to see what people's perceptions are. Here's one tidbit: According to Brown, one is necessary, the other inhibits us. Thoughts?
I think they are very different as well. I fear guilt much more then shame. Shame I feel can be relieved by trying to learn from it, but guilt is much more difficult to recover from in my opinion. I would consider my main fear to be regret.
I always think about it as Shame is guilt mixed with regret. To be guilty, is to have empathy for the reactants of your actions. To have shame, is to either have empathy for the reactants, or for yourself, and regret for the way in which, or the reasons why; you executed your actions.
Brene Brown! Story teller researcher! Lol (reference: TED talk on vulnerability). I think I tend to agree with the definitions that were given here. After all, general emotions like Shame, Guilt, Happiness, Sadness, Anger, Jealousy, Lust, Romantic Love can hardly be given rigid one sentence definitions. And most often, researchers will come up with their own definitions and parameters to better study these emotions. Citation: Tangney, JP; Miller Flicker Barlow (1996), "Are shame, guilt, and embarrassment distinct emotions?", Journal of Personal Social Psychology 70: 1256. As to the implications of these emotions - whether they are inhibitors, necessary, etc., I remain without any sort of verdict. At my current limited philosophy and understanding, I feel that just like other emotions such as Anger and Jealousy, the implications of such emotions are too dependent on circumstances - i.e. Anger can sometimes be necessary, sometimes unnecessary, sometimes create connections, sometimes ruin relationships, etc etc. In a very simple one liner - "I don't know" *shrugs*
Shame: when you feel embarrassed or regretful of something you have done, but you can move on and learn from it Guilt: when you feel bad about something you have done or that you feel you are responsible for, and it is usually hard to get over
My own personal interpretations of it are as follows. Shame: Is the feeling of failure, be it for letting yourself down or others. Guilt: Is the feeling of not having done the right thing mostly determined by your own actions.