Read and feedback please. :) - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

aceofnoise23 · 21st May 2011, 09:39 AM

So this is a poem I wrote and I'm thinking about submitting it into this art magazine my school has, but I want to make sure that other people like it. Any feedback would be awesome.

Tired of Hiding

I’m a slave to who I really am.
These shackles are the bane of my existence.
My heart pounds with anxiety like a powerful drum.
Why can’t I be myself?
Why can’t I be a river, free and unstoppable?
Why can’t I be an eagle, soaring above the rest?

I broke down my paper walls
that I thought were my only friends.
The world’s words hit like knives, but
I let them roll right off my shoulder.
With arms outstretched I wait expectantly,
welcoming all others
To true freedom.

borntosurvive · 21st May 2011, 09:56 AM

This is really beautiful, and it's breath taking that you have such an excellent mastery over your words.

Mirko · 21st May 2011, 10:08 AM

That's a really nice poem.

21st May 2011, 09:39 AM	#1
aceofnoise23 Inside wants out. Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Philadelphia Age: 15 Posts: 90 Join Date: May 2011	Read and feedback please. :) So this is a poem I wrote and I'm thinking about submitting it into this art magazine my school has, but I want to make sure that other people like it. Any feedback would be awesome. Tired of Hiding I’m a slave to who I really am. These shackles are the bane of my existence. My heart pounds with anxiety like a powerful drum. Why can’t I be myself? Why can’t I be a river, free and unstoppable? Why can’t I be an eagle, soaring above the rest? I broke down my paper walls that I thought were my only friends. The world’s words hit like knives, but I let them roll right off my shoulder. With arms outstretched I wait expectantly, welcoming all others To true freedom. __________________ Next time you point a finger, I might have to bend it back or break it, break it off. -Hayley Williams

21st May 2011, 09:56 AM	#2
borntosurvive The Swan Queen Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I <3 Boys Out Status: Desperately wants to come out Location: Cheyenne Age: 17 Posts: 69 Join Date: May 2011	Re: Read and feedback please. :) This is really beautiful, and it's breath taking that you have such an excellent mastery over your words. __________________ I'm on the edge of glory, and I'm hangin' on a moment of truth. Out on the edge of glory, and I'm hangin' on a moment with you.

21st May 2011, 10:08 AM	#3
Mirko Molitva Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out and about Location: British Columbia, Canada Age: 35 Posts: 10,055 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: Read and feedback please. :) That's a really nice poem. __________________ ~ Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are ~

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