Militant Gay Guys

[Indiana Juno]

This response is the result of another thread but I thought it deserved its own post.

Have you ever met the worst of the worst? You know, those gay guys who feel it's necessary to empty other people's closets?

The GSA at my school was headed by a former friend of mind (using the term loosely) named Dave. Dave frequently outed other students to me - kids who had come to him in confidence - he even laughed at how one kid cried as he came out. On Gay Silence Day, he posted a message stating "did you see all those kids who wanted to be a part of it but were too scared? HAHA!" Basically, all those people without a voice whom Silence Day is supposed to represent, are closeted cowards.

One night, I hooked up with a straight friend of mine and had all the usual confusing thoughts afterward. I got drunk and asked Dave for advice, thinking he might have been in that situation. This was the first time I indicated to him that I was gay (though he'd been hitting on me for a year, secretly hoping I was).

Anyways, I had serious feelings for my straight friend and needed a lot of help working through them. Dave seemed a great friend. He spent a lot of time simply listening. One night, he asked me not to drop him off at home, since his parents were having a fight. We went to a park to watch the sun rise.

I still had the nagging suspicion that Dave couldn't keep my secret to himself, so I asked his "best friend" if he ever mentioned anything about me.

She proceeded to tell me about a relationship I'd supposedly had with Dave. A 4-month, on-and-off, soap opera worthy affair. Dave had wanted me to come out so we could be open about our love for each other. I said no I couldn't...so he got out of my car and I chased him. That night, we made love for the first time (me on the bottom, even though I was decidedly NOT a bottom at that point) then went to the park to watch the sun rise. He told me he couldn't see me anymore if I couldn't be open about our love.

Sick shit, right? Here I was under the impression I had a good friend in Dave, all the while, our hanging out was being construed to everyone else as my secretive closeted love affair. There are more nuances...more complicated lies he spread but they're not worth getting into here.

Dave's friend helped me spread the word that our relationship never happened, that he lied and outed me to countless people to make it look like he could rake in a decently attractive guy. However, I believe he somehow managed to do damage control and convinced everybody that this "truth" thing I was talking about was all an elaborate revenge for him revealing our relationship.

I cut the little cancer out of my life. But even so, when a party of his was crashed by the cops, his whole group of friends blamed me (a year later, while I was out of state) for calling them. I even heard a whisper or two that I attempted raping Dave. He's made this claim about past guys who wouldn't get with him, so I don't find it all that shocking. His other super-camp gay friend threatened to "beat the shit out of [me]" if I ever laid a hand on Dave like that again.

Have you guys every known someone like this? A slimy little toerag who lies through their crooked little smile - someone with no personality or redeeming qualities to speak of - someone whose whole identity is wrapped up in their sexuality? A militant gay hypocrite proves worse than any Bible-Thumper to the cause of equality.

People like that are a cancer within our own ranks, so-to-speak. A stain that blemishes an already marginalized group to the rest of the world.

Ahhhhh that feels a lot better.

[RedState]

It helps to kinda get it off your chest doesn't it?

But to answer your question, yes. You will come across people like that from time to time in your travels, and sadly a lot of the time you will not know their true self until you have an experience like you did.

This dude has some serious issues obviously, and you did the right thing in getting the hell away.

Yes, the ones you describe are hypocrites and quite frankly are not good people...and really give us all a bad name.

For people like that, I always apply the wise words I overheard on the Metro one day: "Fuck'em, forget'em, and piss on'em"

[Indiana Juno]

I wish I could have had that last bit of advice when it happened. As it is, I basically told him, "you're scum, mention my name or my [straight] friend's name again and I'll beat you til you're burger."

I really wish I got sweeter revenge. I thought about it later and it would have been much more effective to pretend like I'd never heard the rumors. Then, ask to hang out, go to some secluded place in the middle of nowhere and seduce him, make him take his clothes off, then kick him out of the car. Revenge is a dish best-served cold. I think I served it lukewarm

[Flyers2011]

Wow. People like that are truly despicable. That guy is sick, all the stuff he made up about you? Wow. That takes him a step past militant gay and puts him at sick deranged freak.

My ex, was somewhat similar to that guy and she was frightening enough as it was.

Getting away from him was the best thing you could've done. For every nut in the bunch there's about a million not so nutty ones. You just gotta keep moving on and living your life for yourself and no one else.

Revenge can be satisfying, but you're better off using your energy to make better friends

[Toneth]

eww, he sounds like a total loser, but a bit of advice, the more you refuse to stoop to his level, the more he looks like the crazy one, and the more people believe you.
and as for revenge, I think karma has a few things in store for him, people who compulsively lie will eventually slip up and ruin their own schemes, no one is smart enough to keep track of every little thing they say...

[Revan]

Pathological liars get theirs in the end hun. Don't worry. He'll end up old, pathetic, and alone for most of his life because everyone else will get sick of his constant lies. Trust me on this, even if you didn't serve it cold, life will get it's own revenge on him and it won't be cold, it'll be frigid.

[Gumtree]

Myself about 5 years ago, for sure.

The only equal to my bitchiness, the queen to my kingdom of terror, was my boyfriend at the time.

Man, looking back, I was an outright C word.

[Emberstone]

Perez Hilton...

need I say more... even though it is questionable if he really is gay.

Oh wow!! Dude I am sorry you went through that. How old are you? so i know what i am dealing with.

I would of put a fist on his face awhile ago if i were in your situation. But a better advice, just be the bigger man. If you haven't already, just have a one-to-one conversation with Dave. No yelling nor childish bs.

Since the GSA is a school club, I would talk to the club teacher advisor and tell him/her Dave is not a trustworthy guy for other people to talk to. I think the school might get in trouble for not regulating the club better and information flying around like bananas in a cage of monkeys.

[Kidd]

Yes, I know someone exactly like that, unfortunately.

We had theater together last semester and I guess we are what you would call frenemies. He's really militant and I swear there is nothing to his personality other than his sexuality. Everything is GAY, GAY, GAY. I'm out and so is he, and we're both really involved in the GSA, but I swear it's the only thing that he ever thinks or talks about. I can't remember a single conversation that we had that didn't center around something LGBT related.

I know for a fact that he's a total virgin but he tries to hook up with every gay guy he knows and he tried to do the same with me. I had known him for like two days when he started sexting me and asking for pictures and stuff. On his Facebook a while ago people were joking around just calling him a slut to be stupid, and I desperately wanted to just out him for what he is to everyone. He wants to be a slut, but he doesn't have the face for it...

I took the high road though, and I let it go. It's best to just forget about people like that. They'll dig their own graves, they'll never get very far.

[Indiana Juno]

Kidd, you should say that to him but do it in front of a crowd that's not comprised of his fag hags. Those girls are militant defenders of the faith and might tear you to pieces for blaspheming their glorious rainbow god.

Like someone said about being the mature one, I was. I had that one to one conversation with him (poor little guy when I called him out on it he started panting like a trapped rat). After that the lie was only exposed to a handful of mostly my friends.

I had mutual friends with him but who were more his friends (through his twin who also thinks I did him some terrible wrong by telling the truth). Those people, who I could hang out with at school or even occasionally outside, believed him and subsequently cut me off (I only found out through Facebook they hated me).

That's why I wish I'd gotten some sweet revenge he'd never forget. Because I only did the right thing and came out of it looking like the bad guy. Makes me wish I actually did the bad guy thing of leaving him in his boxers in the middle of nowhere. I would have gotten the same results only I Would've had some fun along the way.