Deflecting Offensive Remarks With Humor

[Astra Moon]

I've always had a very strange sense of humor. Take ANY race, nationality, religion, etc., my theory has always been the same: If you take offensive & derogatory remarks, like "dyke" for example, & make a joke of them, then someone who comes along & uses it negatively, it won't phase you in a negative way because you've made it into something funny. I've always known my sense of humor was....odd, to say the least. I jokingly CALL MYSELF a Dyke, & a tree-hugger (I'm a Wiccan). It's made it so that anyone negative calling me them names, it makes me laugh. A GENUINE laugh, not a smartass "you don't phase me" laugh. Because I see humor in it.
But, I often wonder. Given that homosexuality is such a touchy topic, is using my theory of using humor to deflect offense taking things too far?

[Chip]

I think it's a brilliant way of handling the issues. It says you're comfortable being gay, you're comfortable with who you are as a person, and you're fine making fun of those aspects.

Of course... I also think it's important that the humor be genuine, and that you really do feel comfortable, but that's something that comes over time. So maybe there's a bit of "fake it till you make it" going on for a while, but then, as you get more comfortable, you genuinely enjoy the humor that comes from various situations being gay.

I personally love gay jokes, and am amused by gay stereotypes. The other day I started just sort of absentmindedly singing "somewhere over the rainbow" and one of my straight friends yelled out "Fag." But it was funny as heck and everyone, including me, laughed. Likewise, I make jokes about fruits, or wearing pink tutus, or other gay stereotypes all the time to diffuse things and let people know I don't take myself very seriously, and I think once people see you're so comfortable that none of that fazes you, they realize that making rude comments won't have any effect.

[Pseudojim]

It's part of aussie culture. I cop shit about liking men all the time, it makes it funnier when someone is actually serious about it.

---------- Post added 31st May 2011 at 09:08 AM ----------

The last thing that someone who is trying to offend you will want is for you to laugh at them.

[Astra Moon]

Chip, That sounds exactly like something I would do with my friends. I can remember just a couple days ago, I was trying to do something & I was having some difficulty, so I commented, "It's to hard, I can't do it" So my sister pipes up with "How would you know what to hard means? You're a DYKE!" We just started laughing... (She's Bi)

[Markio]

I will joke about being gay with close friends, whom I trust do not have malicious intent. But when other people who I don't know as well laugh at those jokes, then I feel a little uncomfortable. Because I don't know their intent, I end up wondering how they really feel about gay people. This only happens on really stressful days, when my self-esteem "valleys" (opposite of "troughs"? Are these vowels?)

[kettlkorn]

My personal favorite, which I will use on anyone who attempts to make fun of me:
Jerk: "How's it feel to get boned up the butt? (roflmao)

Me: "You wanna find out? "

Instant jaw drop. And yes I think it's a good idea.