Is it a choice?

What is your opinion on the phrase "homosexuality is a choice"? I could see how it could go either way.

Not a choice:
Who would decide to be tormented and ostracized?

Choice:
You can decide if you are going to make love with someone the same gender as you are.

Where I am at:
NOT a choice. The confusion, the aches, the pains, the whole coming out thing. argg
But I would have it no other way.

I think it varies on the persons definition of homosexuality. Is it "when someone is sexually attracted to someone of the same gender" or "when someone has sex with someone of the same gender" (the latter I disagree with 150% but I have heard it) With the latter of the two I guess you could fight the urges?

One other thing: Is Queer a reclaimed word or is it still considered offensive to some?

[Revan]

No.

That is all.

[Tiny Catastrophe]

This is kinda like a thread I posted: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-c...n-someone.html

[Just Passing]

The only time I see Homosexuality as a choice is when an individual decides to actively try it out whilst identifiying as straight.

Otherwise no, it's not a choice.

[Shevanel]

Is sexuality in general a choice?*

No.

[Martin]

Originally Posted by lulu165

Choice:
You can decide if you are going to make love with someone the same gender as you are.

That's not really answering your own question thoughhh.

The choice to have sex often follows on from the discovery of your own sexuality. There are people on here who have had no sexual contact with somebody of the same-sex, but still know they are attracted to other guys or girls. Choosing to have sex with somebody of the same-sex is just a part of being LGBT, rather than it being an argument for their sexuality being a choice.

Although I suspect from your first post that you agree, so I shall leave it thereee.

[highlights]

Not a choice.

I didn't choose or ask for the amount of confusion and inner turmoil I have been through just trying to figure myself out.

I too though, do not wish to be straight. I imagine life would be much easier, but I've accepted myself the way I am and I'm quite happy with myself.

My problem is with how others see me.

[Tristar]

Sexuality is not a choice I now firmly believe.

What is a choice is how you present your sexuality.

I chose to appear hetero for years and years (due fear of not fitting in, self-loathing, fear of the epidemic, etc.).

I chose to not "be" gay even though inside I always knew I was.

I chose a life of loneliness and depression.

I chose poorly.

But I got better.

[Jim1454]

The only choice involved is whether or not you're prepared to live an authentic life as a homosexual. Being a homosexual isn't a choice. It is (somehow) determined for us.

[Rikudo]

LOL you're asking this to an lgbt forum. Of course you're gonna get the same answer. XD


Also obviously not a choice.

[Connor22]

well... NOPE it is definatly NOT a choice

[steel03]

Is this like one of those trick questions? No, of course not. There is no argument. No sane person would ever choose what we've been given. We may have accepted it, but I still find myself jealous of my straight friends from time to time. It is about the most hurtful thing in the world when people have the nerve to say we made a conscious choice to go through years of confusion, depression, anger, and jealousy. It's 100% about attraction, which no one can truthfully profess to control, not sex.
Anyone can choose to have homosexual sex. In no way does this make him/her homosexual. The act of sticking X into Y is not related to attraction, nor are kissing or even holding hands. These are all common results of attraction, but we are all physically capable of completing each of them platonically. To suggest otherwise is naïve. And anyway, millions and millions of straight couples have anal and oral sex every day. Those body parts don't really differ between genders, so if that's out measure for homosexuality, there are a hell of a lot more gays than we thought.

[fiddledeedee]

Not a choice. But since I am bi, I woudn't be any other way because then I wouldn't be ME.

(And I wouldn't have come here and found the dancing banana!)

[Hexagon]

No way in hell is it a choice.

I define homosexuality in a purely physical and sexual way. Forgive me for being crude but (for guys) does your go up or stay limp when you see a guy? a girl? or both? There. Now you know if you are gay/straight/bi and you know it is not a choice because you can't control this physical reaction. There is a cognitive component too though, but I feel it is less important like do you cringe when thinking about kissing a girl and who would you rather be cuddling with at the end of the day?

[Flyers2011]

No.

You can CHOOSE whether or not you want to be honest with yourself and others. You can CHOOSE to stay in the closet and live your life as a lie. You can CHOOSE to come out.

But you can't choose what gender(s) you're attracted to. Nope, no way.

[TheWanderer]

not a choice as everyone else has said...


As yes queer has been reclaimed. me and my bf use it all the time. was there anybody that read the entire op?

[Chandra]

I'm going to be the voice of dissent here and say that I do think sometimes it can be a choice. I in fact know somebody personally who says that after years of dating men (and feeling no interest in women whatsoever), she was pursued by a woman and decided, why not, I'll give it a try. Since then she has only dated women. You could argue that she was fundamentally bisexual from birth without knowing it, but she is adamant that this is not the case.

I do think that in the vast majority of cases, sexuality is genetic/biological/whatever and not chosen. But I don't like to make blanket generalizations about such things, because there are always exceptions.

This is why I have a bit of a problem with the whole "gays should have rights because it's not a choice" argument. Gay, lesbian and bisexual people should have rights because it's right - because nobody should be allowed to dictate what two consenting adults who have fallen in love can do - whether it's a choice or not.

[malachite]

I think those people are stupid and don't understand homosexuality.

[fiddledeedee]

Chandra: I agree that even if sexuality is a choice, we should have rights; there are thousands of laws protecting religious rights, and religion is a choice. Everyone has a right to rights!