AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

JudasKissedHIM · 2nd Jun 2011, 02:48 AM

So I don’t know if such a thread exists, so here goes:

As a lesbian/gay/bi sexual/transgendered person, would you someday want your kids to be the same as you are?

My personal preference would be for them to be straight, just so that they wouldn’t have to deal with more shit on top of having GLBT parents. But of course it would be wonderful to have a GLBT kid, if it turns out that way.

What are your thoughts?

British Lad · 2nd Jun 2011, 04:40 AM

I don't care what they areas long as there happy i am fine with it.

-Michael- · 2nd Jun 2011, 04:47 AM

Sexuality of my child couldn't matter less.

highlights · 2nd Jun 2011, 05:27 AM

I wouldn't care, as long as they were happy and could talk to me about their problems.

**Lexington** · 2nd Jun 2011, 06:46 AM

For their path to be smooth as possible. My personal belief is that, all other factors being equal, the path in front of straights is smoother than that of gays, which seems to be smoother than that of bisexuals, which seems smoother than that of transgenders. But there are plenty of trans folks who have relatively smooth paths, and straights who have majorly rugged terrain. My only hope is that their sexuality and gender doesn't result in a more difficult road ahead, whatever that sexuality and gender might be.

Lex

Hexagon · 2nd Jun 2011, 06:48 AM

I don't know if I want kids. if I do, I couldn't care less what gender/sexuality they are. And its not like I could change them.

steel03 · 2nd Jun 2011, 07:48 AM

I've thought about this a lot. I know I want kids. I've always wanted kids. I know logically and rationally it shouldn't matter, or at least I should hope they are straight, but part of me feels like it wouldn't be able to relate to a straight son. I'm sure this isn't true, and I'm sure as soon as I had the kid I'm sure the feeling would go away, but I think it's interesting that that's my instinct.

Just Passing · 2nd Jun 2011, 08:04 AM

I'm not sure if I want kids and the chances are, I don't think I will (I'm not even sure if I want to get married), but if I did have kids, I hope they have a nice life without too many difficulties in their way and that they grow up well. Sexuality is nothing to be concerned about to be honest, straight, gay, bi, who cares?

Z3ni · 2nd Jun 2011, 08:08 AM

As long as they don't turn out to be psychotic killers, I don't mind.

Revan · 2nd Jun 2011, 10:23 AM

I just want them to be happy with whoever they are. And that they also respect me and my partner/their other father. I only say this as I know it could be difficult for kids, because there is the fact that sometimes kids get teased for having gay parents which could either make them stronger or it could make them resent their parents. I'm hoping IF it happens though I hope it doesn't, that they'll become stronger for it.

I do sometimes feel too that while people always want the easy path for their kids, I almost feel that depending on the child, a slightly rocky path builds character and makes a child's skin much more tough to handle the real world. I think children who get babied too much will never be ready for the real world because they'll think everything will get handed to them on a plate, cut up into nice little squares.

Kidd · 2nd Jun 2011, 10:58 AM

I've already decided that once I begin my career I want to adopt. I hope that I can give that child or children a loving home, an education, and a real shot at life. What they are doesn't matter to me in the least. I just want to make them happy.

whatsnormal7 · 2nd Jun 2011, 11:56 AM

I think their life would be easier if they were straight but I don't personally care what their orientation is.

Sheyceli · 2nd Jun 2011, 03:58 PM

I don't really want children at all, but I have thought quite a bit how nice it would be to have a family when I get older. Of course, I'm still young, but if I do one day adopt children then I would only wish for them to have a great life and that they can love and trust their parents (myself and whoever my partner may be, if I have one). I hope that they do not have too many problems to face for having a lesbian mother, though. As far as their own gender or sexuality goes, I wouldn't mind any way.

2nd Jun 2011, 04:10 PM

They can be who they want to be, just as long as its something thats not going to cause any harm to others.

Astra Moon · 7th Jun 2011, 09:08 AM

The way I look at it, as long as my children are happy, safe, & accepting of who they are-that's what's most important. I'll be there to support them in whatever they choose.

flymetothemoon · 7th Jun 2011, 09:14 AM

I definitely want to raise children. I've thought a lot about this, and I think that if I have my own or adopt babies, I don't care what my children are. However, I've thought a lot about offering my home up as a foster home for LGBT kids who have been kicked out of their homes when they came out as well if I have the space and am able to provide for them. I want them to know that there are people out there who will support them and love them no matter what, and if I can offer that when their parents aren't ready, I'd love to be able to.

whiterosebeka · 7th Jun 2011, 09:17 AM

i don't care what sexual orientation my children will turn out to be, as i have no problem with that choice.
i want my children to be open to any race, creed or sexuality. i wish for their happiness, whatever might bring them happiness (as long as its not drugs or anything of that nature) i wish for them to except people for who they are.

Robert · 7th Jun 2011, 09:32 AM

I guess I'm going to have to agree with practically everyone else who has posted and say that I dont care. I guess it would be nice to be able to discuss boys with them though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by flymetothemoon

I've thought a lot about offering my home up as a foster home for LGBT kids who have been kicked out of their homes when they came out as well if I have the space and am able to provide for them. I want them to know that there are people out there who will support them and love them no matter what, and if I can offer that when their parents aren't ready, I'd love to be able to.

That sounds great

I've always thought that fostering or adoption makes much more sense than having a kid 'of your own'.

thedreamwatch · 7th Jun 2011, 09:33 AM

I don't really mind what gender identity or sexual orientation my future kids have.

But here's to hoping that if they are LGBT that they don't have to face what I, and many others I know, are facing now.

IanGallagher · 7th Jun 2011, 07:59 PM

This is one of the reasons I feel I'm lucky to be bi. I'm going to eventually wind up with a girl, get married and start a family when I'm finished with my swinging pendulum bachelor days.

If my son is gay, "hey bud, that guy's kinda cute huh?" If my son is bi, "they're both awesome in their own way." If he's straight, "look at the legs on her!" Lol. Basically, I can adapt to my son being whatever since I, myself, am ambiguous.

2nd Jun 2011, 02:48 AM	#1
JudasKissedHIM Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Basically everyone except mamma... Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa Age: 22 Posts: 117 Join Date: Apr 2010	AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? So I don’t know if such a thread exists, so here goes: As a lesbian/gay/bi sexual/transgendered person, would you someday want your kids to be the same as you are? My personal preference would be for them to be straight, just so that they wouldn’t have to deal with more shit on top of having GLBT parents. But of course it would be wonderful to have a GLBT kid, if it turns out that way. What are your thoughts? __________________ I don't speak German, but I can if you like

2nd Jun 2011, 04:40 AM	#2
British Lad EC Biggest Tarantino fan Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: As bent as a roundabout Out Status: What Closet Location: West Midlands Posts: 1,275 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I don't care what they areas long as there happy i am fine with it. __________________ Who ever sayed "Ignorance is bliss" was a moron.

2nd Jun 2011, 04:47 AM	#3
-Michael- Been gone a while. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: DragonPhoenixLightningAwesome Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Middlesbrough, North-east England Age: 20 Posts: 2,199 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? Sexuality of my child couldn't matter less.

2nd Jun 2011, 05:27 AM	#4
highlights Well Known Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual: Kinsey 4/5 Out Status: 2 people Location: Australia Age: 18 Posts: 104 Join Date: May 2011	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I wouldn't care, as long as they were happy and could talk to me about their problems. __________________

2nd Jun 2011, 06:46 AM	#5
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? For their path to be smooth as possible. My personal belief is that, all other factors being equal, the path in front of straights is smoother than that of gays, which seems to be smoother than that of bisexuals, which seems smoother than that of transgenders. But there are plenty of trans folks who have relatively smooth paths, and straights who have majorly rugged terrain. My only hope is that their sexuality and gender doesn't result in a more difficult road ahead, whatever that sexuality and gender might be. Lex

2nd Jun 2011, 06:48 AM	#6
Hexagon Bright Spark Full Member Gender: ?TM transguy Orientation: Panromantic Asexual Out Status: Pending review Location: Somerset, UK Age: 17 Posts: 1,051 Join Date: May 2011	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I don't know if I want kids. if I do, I couldn't care less what gender/sexuality they are. And its not like I could change them. __________________ When god has low self-esteem, does that make him an atheist?

2nd Jun 2011, 07:48 AM	#7
steel03 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: mission accomplished Location: Iowa Age: 20 Posts: 480 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I've thought about this a lot. I know I want kids. I've always wanted kids. I know logically and rationally it shouldn't matter, or at least I should hope they are straight, but part of me feels like it wouldn't be able to relate to a straight son. I'm sure this isn't true, and I'm sure as soon as I had the kid I'm sure the feeling would go away, but I think it's interesting that that's my instinct. __________________ And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.

2nd Jun 2011, 08:04 AM	#8
Just Passing EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Almost there Location: West Midlands Age: 20 Posts: 513 Join Date: May 2011	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I'm not sure if I want kids and the chances are, I don't think I will (I'm not even sure if I want to get married), but if I did have kids, I hope they have a nice life without too many difficulties in their way and that they grow up well. Sexuality is nothing to be concerned about to be honest, straight, gay, bi, who cares? __________________ Meh.

2nd Jun 2011, 08:08 AM	#9
Z3ni Ec's ADD Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gayish Out Status: My Twin Location: England, Manchester Posts: 3,080 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? As long as they don't turn out to be psychotic killers, I don't mind. __________________ Through pain, lies success.

2nd Jun 2011, 10:23 AM	#10
Revan EC Addict Full Member Gender: M for MEEP! Orientation: Mutant and Proud Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windsor, Ontario Age: 24 Posts: 6,564 Join Date: Jun 2005	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I just want them to be happy with whoever they are. And that they also respect me and my partner/their other father. I only say this as I know it could be difficult for kids, because there is the fact that sometimes kids get teased for having gay parents which could either make them stronger or it could make them resent their parents. I'm hoping IF it happens though I hope it doesn't, that they'll become stronger for it. I do sometimes feel too that while people always want the easy path for their kids, I almost feel that depending on the child, a slightly rocky path builds character and makes a child's skin much more tough to handle the real world. I think children who get babied too much will never be ready for the real world because they'll think everything will get handed to them on a plate, cut up into nice little squares. __________________ "Is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly. Strength is not defined by physical capacity, but by indomitable will. ~ Mahatma Gandhi Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you just wind up screwing yourself.

2nd Jun 2011, 10:58 AM	#11
Kidd You'll love me! Full Member Gender: ♂ Orientation: ♂ ♥ ♂ Out Status: Out Location: N.W. Ohio Age: 21 Posts: 1,430 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I've already decided that once I begin my career I want to adopt. I hope that I can give that child or children a loving home, an education, and a real shot at life. What they are doesn't matter to me in the least. I just want to make them happy. __________________ I feel a hunger. Take my picture by the pool, because I'm the next big thing. Fingers crossed, my time is coming now...

2nd Jun 2011, 11:56 AM	#12
whatsnormal7 I cant even walk in a straight line Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: lebanese =) Out Status: somewhere in the middle Age: 17 Posts: 77 Join Date: May 2011	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I think their life would be easier if they were straight but I don't personally care what their orientation is. __________________ I don't need a life that's normal, that's way too far away, but something next to normal would be O.K.

2nd Jun 2011, 03:58 PM	#13
Sheyceli lieks Mudkipz Full Member Gender: physically female Orientation: homoromantic asexual Out Status: one friend Location: Michigan Age: 16 Posts: 541 Join Date: Mar 2011	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I don't really want children at all, but I have thought quite a bit how nice it would be to have a family when I get older. Of course, I'm still young, but if I do one day adopt children then I would only wish for them to have a great life and that they can love and trust their parents (myself and whoever my partner may be, if I have one). I hope that they do not have too many problems to face for having a lesbian mother, though. As far as their own gender or sexuality goes, I wouldn't mind any way. __________________ "Special doesn't have many kids, so the class is very close. The family feeling is greater here than anywhere else. They call us "weirdos" and "trash", but that doesn't mean anything. Don't struggle to keep up a facade for rankings or fitting in. Just live your life to the fullest!" -T. A.

2nd Jun 2011, 04:10 PM	#14
Giorria Guest Posts: n/a	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? They can be who they want to be, just as long as its something thats not going to cause any harm to others.

7th Jun 2011, 09:08 AM	#15
Astra Moon Astra Moon Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Cohoes, NY Age: 26 Posts: 18 Join Date: May 2011	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? The way I look at it, as long as my children are happy, safe, & accepting of who they are-that's what's most important. I'll be there to support them in whatever they choose. __________________ This is me/Leave it be/I won't fake it/Be who I'm not/It's my persona/It's all I got! Astra Moon

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7th Jun 2011, 09:14 AM	#16
flymetothemoon EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: It's not about gender, I just like people... Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Albany, NY Age: 25 Posts: 467 Join Date: Nov 2009	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I definitely want to raise children. I've thought a lot about this, and I think that if I have my own or adopt babies, I don't care what my children are. However, I've thought a lot about offering my home up as a foster home for LGBT kids who have been kicked out of their homes when they came out as well if I have the space and am able to provide for them. I want them to know that there are people out there who will support them and love them no matter what, and if I can offer that when their parents aren't ready, I'd love to be able to. __________________ Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true...curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy. ~ Walt Disney

7th Jun 2011, 09:17 AM	#17
whiterosebeka Well Known Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Greenville, SC Age: 22 Posts: 188 Join Date: May 2011	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? i don't care what sexual orientation my children will turn out to be, as i have no problem with that choice. i want my children to be open to any race, creed or sexuality. i wish for their happiness, whatever might bring them happiness (as long as its not drugs or anything of that nature) i wish for them to except people for who they are. __________________ You've crossed the finish line, won the race but lost your mind. Was it worth it after all? I need you here with me, cause love is all we need. Just take a hold of the hand that breaks the fall. I know that I'm no Superman

7th Jun 2011, 09:33 AM	#19
thedreamwatch Maximum Ridiculosity Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Kinsey 5. So, pretty gay. Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Wisconsin Age: 22 Posts: 1,274 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? I don't really mind what gender identity or sexual orientation my future kids have. But here's to hoping that if they are LGBT that they don't have to face what I, and many others I know, are facing now. __________________ "I came out laughing, I came out screaming, I came out dancing..." - T&S

7th Jun 2011, 07:59 PM	#20
IanGallagher The fluctuator Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Mutant and proud Out Status: All except work and extended family. Location: I fly as much as Superman Age: 24 Posts: 619 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: AS a L/G/B/T man/woman, what would you wish for your kids? This is one of the reasons I feel I'm lucky to be bi. I'm going to eventually wind up with a girl, get married and start a family when I'm finished with my swinging pendulum bachelor days. If my son is gay, "hey bud, that guy's kinda cute huh?" If my son is bi, "they're both awesome in their own way." If he's straight, "look at the legs on her!" Lol. Basically, I can adapt to my son being whatever since I, myself, am ambiguous. Last edited by IanGallagher; 7th Jun 2011 at 08:01 PM..