Sticks and Stones - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

ToTheCeilingFan · 2nd Jun 2011, 03:40 PM

Hey y'alls, so yesterday I was talking to my mom and she kept referring to gay girls as "dykes" (ooh, look over there, look at all those dykes! Those girls are totally dykes!). Anyway, I got very annoyed with her and told her to stop using that word. Later that evening my mom was in my room and saw that my wallpaper said "Proud To Be a Dyke" and she accused me of being a hypocrite.

So here's my question: is it okay to use terms like dyke and fag, and is there a context when this is/isn't acceptable? Sorry if this thread already exists, I looked around and couldn't find one.

**Mogget** · 2nd Jun 2011, 03:53 PM

This one is complicated. Basically, when a member of a minority self-identifies with an epithet applied by the majority to that minority, it's okay. It's not okay for a member of the majority to use the term unless they know the minorities they're referring to are okay with it, and even then it's best not to use it. That clarify things?

Shevanel · 2nd Jun 2011, 03:54 PM

+ YouTube Video

My viewpoint is similar to this xD

malachite · 3rd Jun 2011, 01:17 PM

I'm on the side of if you don't want other people to use it then don't.

However, if yout mom kept saying it and kept saying it and kept say it, its going to push the line no matter what.

So when she saw your poster, she saw an opportunity to "not be wrong" and get even.

Hexagon · 3rd Jun 2011, 01:32 PM

Minorities are allowed to reclaim. People who are not part of those majorities are not until the word becomes commonly used in a non offensive way.

By reclaiming, we lessen the effect that insults have on us (Call me queer, and I'll probably thank you), and make it less commonly used by the rest of the world. It also changes its meaning somewhat.

2nd Jun 2011, 03:40 PM	#1
ToTheCeilingFan crazed Full Member Gender: let's just say...grrrl Orientation: as straight as a side view of Christina Aguilera Out Status: completely out as lesbian, not out at all as GQ Location: Somewhere over the rainbow... Age: 18 Posts: 185 Join Date: Dec 2010	Sticks and Stones Hey y'alls, so yesterday I was talking to my mom and she kept referring to gay girls as "dykes" (ooh, look over there, look at all those dykes! Those girls are totally dykes!). Anyway, I got very annoyed with her and told her to stop using that word. Later that evening my mom was in my room and saw that my wallpaper said "Proud To Be a Dyke" and she accused me of being a hypocrite. So here's my question: is it okay to use terms like dyke and fag, and is there a context when this is/isn't acceptable? Sorry if this thread already exists, I looked around and couldn't find one. __________________ "Abercrombie isn't about helping people. It's about playing rugby with your best buds in a fresh green field, only you both forgot your clothes."

2nd Jun 2011, 03:53 PM	#2
Mogget Mad and dead as nails EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 5 or 6. It varies Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Alaska Age: 22 Posts: 2,019 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Sticks and Stones This one is complicated. Basically, when a member of a minority self-identifies with an epithet applied by the majority to that minority, it's okay. It's not okay for a member of the majority to use the term unless they know the minorities they're referring to are okay with it, and even then it's best not to use it. That clarify things? __________________ "As to what I am, I once was many things but now I am only several." - Mogget in Sabriel by Garth Nix "The world is quiet here." - VFD

3rd Jun 2011, 01:17 PM	#4
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 6,480 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Sticks and Stones I'm on the side of if you don't want other people to use it then don't. However, if yout mom kept saying it and kept saying it and kept say it, its going to push the line no matter what. So when she saw your poster, she saw an opportunity to "not be wrong" and get even. __________________ It's the 21st century, your bigotry is outdated. Either upgrade or go away.

3rd Jun 2011, 01:32 PM	#5
Hexagon Bright Spark Full Member Gender: ?TM transguy Orientation: Panromantic Asexual Out Status: Pending review Location: Somerset, UK Age: 17 Posts: 1,051 Join Date: May 2011	Re: Sticks and Stones Minorities are allowed to reclaim. People who are not part of those majorities are not until the word becomes commonly used in a non offensive way. By reclaiming, we lessen the effect that insults have on us (Call me queer, and I'll probably thank you), and make it less commonly used by the rest of the world. It also changes its meaning somewhat. __________________ When god has low self-esteem, does that make him an atheist?