Thoughts on using 'gay' as an insult/saying something is bad?

[highlights]

Do any of you get offended when people use 'gay' as a way of saying something's bad/stupid? Eg; "that haircut is gay!" "this homework is gay!" etc.

It's always bothered me. What do you think?

[fiddledeedee]

I don't like it; it's sending a subconscious message about stereotypes and how being gay is bad. Hearing comments like this makes me nervous that if I come out to everyone people will expect me to act differently.

[Sheyceli]

I hate it when people say that. It really upsets me, and if I catch any of my friends slipping up with it I will not hesitate to call them out. They know it's not appropriate. Unfortunately though, most people have turned the word into a common, every-day insult, and it's probably going to be a long while before it dies out.

[steel03]

It bothers me a lot. I don't call things black or blind when I mean stupid or bad. No one would be okay with that. I don't see how this isn't exactly the same thing.

[malachite]

usually when I hear it it's some punk kid. They don't know any better, I.E. kid, teen are like parrots they repeat when they hear around them. So I try not to let it get me too worked up.

Though when someone loses at...let's say a game and they say: "I lost that's so gay!"
I'll reply with: "And crying like a bitch...thats so straight!"

[Owen]

On a practical basis, I don't like it. I'll call my friends out on it, because it enforces the idea that being gay is something undesirable. I even know people who are fully accepting of gay people who say it, and I still call them out on it because I can't stand when people don't listen to the words they say (e.g. "could care less").

On a philosophical basis, though, I just shrug my metaphorical shoulders and accept that it's our turn. Just about every word that people have used to describe something they don't like has some basis in insult: "retarded" offends the mentally handicapped, "lame" offends the physically handicapped, "stupid" offends the intellectually deficient (alright, that one might be pushing it). Just about every word and phrase for things we don't like has some unfortunate implications behind it. If one says "That sucks," it's implying that being the giver of fellatio is an undesirable condition, insulting women and gay men who do it. If someone says something like "I got totally screwed by that test", it's implying that being the passive one in a sexual relationship is undesirable. Yes, some of them are farther stretches than others, but it's still there.

Now, even on a philosophical basis, I still oppose the use of "gay" as a pejorative insult because the others at least have some kind of sensible reasoning behind their insulting nature. All of them refer to states or characteristics that one could reasonably find undesirable. "Gay", though, is exempt from this rule: no one is justified in finding it undesirable. So my philosophical viewpoint toward it is one of ambivalence.

[Jaason]

I feel somewhat offended when I hear that, but because I'm mostly closeted in a homophobic environment, I keep mum about it. I feel guilty for not standing up for myself, but... c'est la vie :/

[Beachboi92]

I understand that it gets let slip but i usually correct people i know by repeating what they said with a less offensive word. Because in the end using gay like that is putting a negative connotation on our sexual orientation.

[Jagster]

I have got my principal to make a policy out of it in 8th grade. I hated hearing it near every day.

[AtmaWeapon]

I used to say it without thinking about it. Then I clarified on it as being "not in the good ways." One girl clarified as "and I don't mean in the more awesome than heterosexual way."

A lot of people use it. Some gay friends use it tongue in cheek. It doesn't usually bother me but I am certainly not adverse to eroding the use of the word in a negative context. I would never get militant about it, though.

[GhostDog]

I always make a >:| face at my friends when they use it.

I saw this video recently! It sort of sums up my opinion of the whole thing, in under 17 seconds.

+ YouTube Video

[Owen]

Originally Posted by AtmaWeapon

Some gay friends use it tongue in cheek.

If life has taught me anything, it is that, to an outside observer, doing something tongue-in-cheek is no different from doing it seriously. In fact, there is only one difference between someone who does something ironically (tongue-in-cheek) and someone who means it: a couple of weeks. As you use something ironically, it becomes habitual, and you may eventually find yourself doing it without any irony at all. That's why I don't do those kinds of things anymore: I often find myself saying seriously the things I used to say tongue-in-cheek, so I broke than habit before it got me saying things like "that's so gay".

[Allegro molto]

I guess I'll deviate from the norm...it doesn't bother me at all. Not even a little bit.

But then again, most negative or nasty words/phrases that should offend me don't offend me, so I guess it's not that strange considering my personality.

[StarofMiyu]

honestly even I'm guilty of using it...I mean I try to stop myself, but it's hard cause I'm so used to using it T_T

[Toneth]

I hate it, especially straight guys using it, uber offensive to me.

I don't like it, my younger brother actually said it to me tonight because I told him not to be disrespectful to our Mum, especially in front of his friends and our older brother. He likes to look like he's one of these tough people in front of people and it really gets on my nerves.

[RedState]

I can see where it would be bothersome, but it doesn't really bother me...I'm guilty of using the term "homo" all the times with my friends i.e. "Quit being a homo and hurry up", or "What's up homo?"..even tho they are not gay.
It makes no sense I know but it is just part of my vocabulary.

[507bro]

it's never bothered me, I use it too lol.

[TraceElement]

It irks me even when I know people are not using it as an insult. For me, it's the association that being gay is bad, wrong or still hated.

[Monica]

This happened to me on Friday. In the gym locker room, this girl I know (and dislike very much) aid "that's so gay." I slammed my locker (I was finished changing, but her shirt was off), turned around and asked her what she just said. "This is totally GAY!" she repeated. She wasn't being a jerk, but she was being ignorent. I just looked her in the eye and said, "Why would you say that in front of me?" "what?" "You've known me for three years. You know that I'm a lesbain. So shut your MOUTH." She dropped her shirt on the floor, she was so shocked. "And no," I called over my shoulder. "I don't have a crush on you. You're not nearly as hot as you think you are." and I stalked off.