Angry Homophobe.

[Austin]

So tonight I was at my boyfriend's friend's play with him (high school). After the play we went up and saw his friend and stuff. We were holding hands most of the time. And then I was kinda tired so I went and hugged him and laid my head on him (on his neck). Then this guy came up and he came over and yelled at us and was like "I was fine with the holding hands, but this is bullshit!... It's bullshit. Understand? (I just stared) Understand??" (or something like that, I can't remember)

I wasn't sure what to do so I was just like "okay" and we stopped lol.... shouldn't have given in I guess but what can I do with some angry fuck. I'm shy lol and my bf didn't say anything. But ya, we didn't hold hands for a bit, and my bf said he was giving us dirty looks after lol we walked by him a couple times holding hands (after he said that). But it really pissed me off! I feel like I should have reacted differently. But, I guess it was good. I don't want to really provoke him and get beaten up (he was like in his 40s probably stronger than me). I was kinda scared. What would you all have done?

Afterwards, this girl was like "what did you guys do? (in a tone of voice implying we didn't do anything)" and I'm like "Idk, I guess somebody is a homophobe" and then she was like "well I support you guys" and gave me a high five. =P Idk if anyone else saw or not. I was kinda shocked lol.

Anyways, it pissed me off. And was a little scary because he was so threatening. I bet if a boy and girl had done that he would have been fine... I don't think we even kissed or anything... whatever. I should expect this to happen sometime in orange county. We've been holding hands and hugging and stuff plenty in public and this is the first time in... 3 weeks LOL so guess that is good.

(not sure what section to put this in)

[Beachboi92]

i would have just sat there the same way while he yelled resting on my bf's shoulder then when he finished yelling gone "you done? cause i don't recall where i set my head being any of your fucking business but it is really mature of you being, what, 40 years old to come over to some 18 year olds you dont know and try to tell them how they should behave in public when clearly no one else seems to have that big of a problem with me leaning against my boyfriend."

If someone seems that much older than you i'd say its safe to tell them to fuck off. The only time id be careful is if there was someone closer to your age because they seem more likely to do something stupid. Also if you have friends with you or are in a place like at a school or somewhere crowded feel free to tell them to fuck off because there will be people there to back you up imo.

---------- Post added 11th Jun 2011 at 05:38 AM ----------

also if they are over 18 you can always try claiming you are both 17 so if they threaten violence you can say "and then you get to go to jail for assaulting a minor and a hate crime" as an attempt to simmer things down xD

[TheEdend]

The shock of your first "homophobe attack" is definitely something to experience xD The more it happens the easier it gets to just brush it off and pay no attention to it, though.

I always try to be extremely polite with homophobes while also not stopping whatever I'm doing. Staying calm always seems to get to them the most and stops any form of aggression from most people. Also, I tend to kick the PDA up a notch right after someone says anything...granted it can be dangerous depending on where you are, but as long as you aren't alone then it should be pretty safe.

Also, cute picture

[Austin]

Thanks! It was very crowded so I guess it would have been okay. I didn't stop resting my head on his shoulder because of what he said, just because someone came over, and the natural response for me is to give them attention lol. I'd always perk my head up and face/look at them or something ya know? =P Didn't really know what he was going to do. But it was kinda a blur. I didn't really hold hands after maybe because I was scared but also because I was pissed off and kinda not in a lovey dovey mood anymore for a few minutes....

Anyways, @beachboi He wasn't like an old man or fat or anything that would prevent him from hurting me. And I'm a timid person I guess. I'd like to have been in his face but I don't get that way often. Maybe when I get more muscle those kind of guys will be afraid of me fucking them up.

@TheEdend It really is shocking! I haven't dwelled on it too much (well, maybe a bit, but mostly anger which is fine by me... like, don't feel guilty or anything ). And lol. Idk he was scary. Probably all talk though. Guess I don't want to find out. I've gotten called fag and gay boys with my boyfriend but w/e really lol. Was by some teenagers who were doing drugs. They weren't "in my face" about it. Also thanks for saying the picture is cute!

[JudasKissedHIM]

Ugh that sucks. It’s easy to say "oh just tell him to piss the fuck off", but it’s not that easy… At least for me it is. I’m really a coward when it comes to physical confrontation. I get scared in situations like that. Best advice is to just let it be...

[malachite]

no you shouldn't have given in.

douch: "understand?"

yeah I understand, I just don't care what some biggot douch thinks. Go burn a cross on someone's lawn and leave us alone.

Part of deal with life is experience, you didn't know what to do because the situation blindsided you. So, now you know what to do.

[Robert]

Should've given him a hug. It sounds like he needed one.

[Z3ni]

Well.. When people shout at me.. I tend to get pissed off, I'd probably would have gave my "bf" a peck on his cheek (to piss him off even more), give him a evil glare and told the guy "FUCK YOU" or "Me no speaka no english motherfuckerr!!!"

[Ben]

I find the best thing to do is to not say anything and get away from them. There are assholes like this walking through the street, and I've bumped into a few who are willing to get physical and try to pick a fight. The best thing is to just get away from them as swiftly as possible and if they do end up doing anything to harm you, take it to the relevant authorities—they usually seem happy to help and supportive, even if they do end up doing bugger all (in which case, don't stop until you get it sorted).

The amount of times I've had things yelled at me on the streets and worse (threats sent to me, things thrown, physical attacks) is really not nice, but I've always managed to get away safely by not sticking around to pick a fight.

[Flyers2011]

Honestly, it's all about knowing when to pick your battles. Sometimes it's okay to just say, "Hey buddy, mind your own business." Other times (and unfortunately most of the time) you just have to walk away or stand there and take it :/.

I've never had a homophobe come up to me in the street and start ranting. But I assume it will happen one day :/.

I think you did the right thing. I mean, you wouldn't want to cause a huge scene in the middle of a high school auditorium. Plus, you guys were there to support your boyfriend's friend. It wouldn't have been right to get into a screaming match with someone who's that ignorant.

[Kidd]

You should have said something like "If you don't like it, stop perving on us?" and walked away. If he doesn't like it why is he staring you down? Why is he creeping on you guys? I seriously doubt he would have actually done anything to either of you in a crowded auditorium so why not get a little confrontational? I would have told him to mind his own fucking business and get a life. I would have told him to skroddle elsewhere and bother another person--I'm trying to have a good time with my BOYFRIEND.

[Austin]

Originally Posted by malachite

no you shouldn't have given in.

douch: "understand?"

yeah I understand, I just don't care what some biggot douch thinks. Go burn a cross on someone's lawn and leave us alone.

Part of deal with life is experience, you didn't know what to do because the situation blindsided you. So, now you know what to do.

But I DON'T know what I should do. =P Some people are saying ignore it and some are saying to be confrontational. Guess it depends on the situation.... lol.

[Revan]

If it had been another teen like yourself then I would understand your reasoning for not doing it I guess. But the fact it's an adult, a grown 40+ year old telling two teenagers to stop being affectionate? That just doesn't sit well in my books. Even if he did it to two straight people, it still isn't right. He's a freaking grown man, he has no right telling two teenagers who are in love to not hug one another. No one tells him off for hugging his wife (if he has one) in public.

This is the biggest thing I have a problem with with the religious zealots and conservative bigots out there. If they want to deny me as a young adult my rights, fine, but denying kids and basically telling them they're wrong? It's the biggest load of bullshit ever. But they don't get that, instead they're like this!

+ YouTube Video

[Lolguy]

This happened to me once, when I was last dating. Some guy yelled at me for a few minutes. And when he was done, I promptly replied, "Shut the fuck up, thanks," then walked away.

The look on his face was priceless.

[Austin]

Originally Posted by Revan

If it had been another teen like yourself then I would understand your reasoning for not doing it I guess. But the fact it's an adult, a grown 40+ year old telling two teenagers to stop being affectionate? That just doesn't sit well in my books. Even if he did it to two straight people, it still isn't right. He's a freaking grown man, he has no right telling two teenagers who are in love to not hug one another. No one tells him off for hugging his wife (if he has one) in public.

This is the biggest thing I have a problem with with the religious zealots and conservative bigots out there. If they want to deny me as a young adult my rights, fine, but denying kids and basically telling them they're wrong? It's the biggest load of bullshit ever. But they don't get that, instead they're like this!

Youtube Video

If it was a teenager I wouldn't have listened lol. He probably wouldn't have touched me but he seemed pretty scary. Nothing I can do now... Oh well.

I still don't understand why holding hands was okay with him but hugging wasn't lol.

[TheEdend]

But I DON'T know what I should do. =P Some people are saying ignore it and some are saying to be confrontational. Guess it depends on the situation.... lol.

At the end, the only thing that really matters is to keep yourself safe

[thylvin]

It is human nature when they are faced with something they do not understand. Some will try to control it, others to destroy it. Some will back away and others embrace it. Some will just ignore it and others will try to corrupt it.

When ever i came into a situation where there are homophobes i look at the situation.

Personaly i do not fight. do not think me being a sisy, i have black beld in karati, did wrestling and won a few medals. But if and when i do fight the other people end up being very seriously injured. My sensi told me anything i can lay my hands on is a weapon, it is just a matter of how to use it. This stuck with me all through my life and at a very serious situation where me and my friend were held at knife point by eight people, i ended up hurting them so badly using the bmx bikes we had. Some of them were in hospital for a few months for reconstruction surgery. A case was made and the judge (who was luckely my perant's friend) gave me a warning and prohibited me from ever coming into their neigbourhood.

So ever since then i walk away from fights if it starts to go beyond being verbal. But when confronted with angry homophobes i tend to ignore it. Tell them that i live my life and they live their life and we should rather stay out of one another's paths. If they do not accept that being homosexual is just as normal as being hetrosexual. I tell them also that they do not see me getting angry at public display of affection between hetrosexual couples.

if that still does not work, i walk away, if they do not allow me to walk away and push me into a fight, i hit a few key points on their body to minimise the damage to their body but render them incapacitated to render any further blows against me or to those that are with me at the time. I phone the police and wait patiently. i do not make a case against them but rather choose the police to let that person sleep off their anger overnight at the holding cells.

What i am trying to say is this: You will meet angry homophobes all through your life at some stage or another. Rather walk way, its not worth the time and energy to get angry over it or even to start a fight. This then usualy gets out of hand and it may even end up in court.

Do not think that the judge will let you off with a fine or anything else like that. I know other gay people who were attacked and they retaliated and now end up in jail for a few years just because they retaliated. There is no garuantee in life that you will get a sympathetic judge or jury. So stay safe, walk away or get to the nearest shop, cop or security guard who can help and has the authority to control the situation how every they may deem nesisary.

[Revan]

Even if that's the case...still totally wish I had skills like yours dude. I'd erm...kill to have the ability to incapacitate someone easily but I sadly don't know how to aside from hitting one's crotch or neck (Adam's apple can cripple someone quite well but it could also lead to breaking something)

[mnguy]

What an asshat for yelling at you like that. Too bad you or someone else didn't get it on video and then post to youtube and on the news to embarrass the shit out of that fool. I would have been intimidated in that situation, especially when I was your age. You weren't doing anything wrong from what you said here and another parent should have stuck up for you two.

[Rikudo]

Was this your first time dealing with somebody like this? If so then it's totally understandable that you would've reacted in such a manner considering that you say you're a shy person. Just take this as a learning experience.