A Thread to Break the Silence

Well I have a cousin who I was very close too and since I came out to him he refuses to have anything to do with me. My dad "accepts me" and "supports me" but says I'm going to hell. And another cousin thinks its a choice and I can change and she hates the fact that I'm gay but "still loves me"

Just a little taste in the life of Sam.

 

Morgan: I know those people are awful, but try to look at it this way: they're idiots seriously, that's how I deal with people saying terrible things like that, even racial slurs! It's purely idiotic, so they don't deserve to be given attention. That's how I think, anyway.

Sam: That's so sad! ; ; I'm so sorry to hear that! How can they juggle love with such hateful thoughts?! I really hope you can find a place where you can be truly accepted (aside from EC, of course ^^ where you most certainly are both accepted and loved!)

I don't have many experiences of homophobia, because living in this area, you'd swear there's no such thing as homosexuality. There are no gay groups or organizations, people don't even talk about it, and if there really are any gay people living here, they're really good at hiding it! However, there was one thing I heard that ticked me off.

It was when I was in the mental ward, and we were talking about having a hard time or being treated poorly due to our mental illnesses, and one of the patients, an older woman who was very christian, said that some day, mental illnesses will be accepted, just like homosexuality. I'm not sure if I know exactly what she meant by that. Why use homosexuality as an example, specifically? Was she comparing it to mental illness because she believes it to be a disorder? Was she referring to how it used to be considered a mental disorder? I was so mad that after the group I snuck into the room and drew on the dry erase board two huge male symbols linked together, two huge female symbols linked together, and a male and a female symbol linked in between them.

 

I wanted to see what my group of friends would do if i said the gayest thing i could think of soo.....

(ill call him bill for the sake of whatever)
"Bill scores 17 on his bleep test"
me -Oh my god bill, you are, the quintessence of a man!
-silence..............(group of 5)-
Dude....are you gay?
Omg your a faggot lol
haha urhhh dont perv on me
me- it was a joke you dickhead (in joky way) besides (blah blah blah blah)
Just went off into boyish squabbles, im sitll friends with them all, they dont think im gay, but it hurt a bit, the faggot bit..


Sorry if you cant read it.

 

A couple weeks ago we had an incident in my dorm. I was up on the fourth floor in my building checking out the condition of the dorms (I have a position of responsibility) and on the floor, using tape, someone had formed the words "talk like a fag." Needless to say I was angry. A few of my subordinates were standing around accompanying me through the dorm inspection, so I said to the group "this is absolutely wrong. No one is going to talk like a fag." "That could be a respect violation and we could have a huge problem on our hands." So after I said all this I proceeded to rip the tape off the floor. I was surprised when one of the guys bent down and started to help me. No one said anything about my comments other than they agreed there could be trouble. Then again, I am in a position of authority over them so it wouldn't behoove them to argue with me.

Anyways, that's my story. I am sorry to those of you on this thread that have had to deal with much worse. My story pales in comparison to say AngelOnFire's story or Biloved's. I wish I had the audacity I had as a kid. I used to be the "defender" of all the kids that were picked on. Most people were scared of me then so if I stood behind someone they would leave them alone, at least while I was around. Now the tables are turned, I stand to be the one picked on or harrassed. If someone is bothering me I won't usually do much other than ignore it, if someone goes after my friends or someone I see as the underdog thats another story.

 

Last night, I was hanging out with the group with whom I play kickball (and to whom I'm out), and during a conversation, one of the members of the group made a comment about something being, "...so gay." I stopped him mid-sentence literally saying, "Wait, what?" He began to add some details to his statement, so I said, "No, the that's so gay part." He realized what he had done and apologized.

It really bothers me, though, how pervasive the whole gay=stupid thing is in our common language. And the thing is, a couple of years ago before I ever dreamed of coming out or interacting with anything remotely gay (real gay), I used that phrase all the time too. It's just a function of the ignorance of people, yet that ignorance is so widespread. It's damn frustrating.

 

Well, Im sorry for all the things everybody been through. But let's face it everyone, it's life, people are human, they are mean, they could and would say the meanest things we can ever imagined. And I understand we are human, we get hurt. They can say things, we can offend, walk away, and be strong

Somehow sometimes, I just wanna thanks for all the bad things peopel have done to me for the fact that Im gay. They mocked, made fun of me, and worse stuffs, but what can I say. Im weak, I cant stand up for myself, they are a big group, I can not yell or scream back, I cant even fight. So all O can do and be strong, cuz all teh things they do, squeezed my heart and made it colder

I just wish everything will be alright. Dont worry guys, you see now they are little bit easier on gay people then before, the society accepts us more. I just wana liev till teh day I can see they, the mean and cold society, accept us like friends, and treat us like real human(&&&)

Stay strong everyone, hold on to what you got, grab alittle bit of your strength and make it larger

 

Well, today's little bit of meanness for me came when a coworker was watching the news about the oil spill outside San Fransisco. He said that "it couldn't have happened at a better place so we can get rid of all those fags" and that "an earthquake wouldn't hurt either." It's like... what do you say to that kind of cruelty?

 

This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous, but does anyone watch the simpsons?
*blush*

Like I said, this will sound really dumb, but lately I've been watching loads of new episodes (new meaning series 16 or 17 or something, not sure I haven't seen it in a while but I'm kind of behind) and my brother has been watching them with me so it's not just be being paranoid, but they put some kind of gay comment into almost EVERY episode now. Even if it's just 1 line or 2, they ALWAYS seem to sneak some little gay thing in there.
It's not like they're offensive or anything, some are quite funny, it just kind of annoyed me why they feel the need to... they never used to do it in the older series...

I'll go hide my shame now after posting something so petty, lol

 

You should remind him that there are many heterosexual people living in San Francisco including children. His remarks are insensitve and stupid and gay people are just as valuable as anybody else.

 

Oh yeah, and today I endured a conversation with a female coworker who seemed convinced that because I was gay I enjoyed having things put up my back door... nice girl.

 

The other day at school this random guy came up and hugged me, and his friend said "What? I thought you liked that.".. But in the stupid teenage sarcastic way.
It just really pissed me off and when I told my friends they really wanted to kill him XD
Which made me feel a little better..

 

You should have just hugged him tighter and said 'Yeah I did like it, maybe a bit TOO much...'
Either that, or grabbed his privates and pulled really hard and than said 'What? I thought you liked that'
Or just said really loudly 'Yeah I do like that, but I thought you didn't want people to know about that night?'

Sorry, I have this thing with turning people's troubles into humour... lol

 

quite a few years ago i was talking and i used "gay" in place of "stupid" and didn't realize it. one of my friends pointed it out. i had no idea i had even said it. from that point on i have really noticed how often it has been used and never have i said it again. i hadn't seen how it had become a such a derogatory term, and i was pissed off when i realized i had been using it as such and hadn't even noticed. now, i do what one of my friends did to me. if someone uses gay in a derogatory sense i wait until their sentence is done and just look at them. some of them kno me well enough by now to correct their mistake and/or apologize. if they don' realize it, i point it out.

i hate how it has become such a common way to say "stupid/lame". what i hate more is that it's become so "popular" people don't even realize they use it like that.

 

Recently I have stopped using "that's so gay", not exactly sure why but I realise how offensive it can be others. I didn't used to mind, I guess I used to think "I'm gay so it doesn't matter if I say it" which annoys the hell out of me now, because it sounds so high and mighty. But yeah, I do get annoyed when people say it now, but I just retaliate with "That's straight".

In terms of somebody actually knowingly putting me down for being gay, I've had food thrown at me by people in my village, like I once had a sandwich thrown at me and told "Fags can't skate on this skatepark" which pisses me off because I've lost interest in skating now by not going back and trying to avoid them. And a half eaten banana (with skin) thrown at me once in school. As far as I'm concerned though, those kids have nothing better to do than make themselves feel better by putting others down for their differences.

Doesn't stop me being pissed off though.

 

This might seem a little bit petty compared to everyone elses' experiences, but here goes.

I was on the train the other day and I bumped into some friends from school, so I sat down with them for the ride. After we had a laugh about the fact that I was wearing the same t-shirt as my friend's boyfriend, three of the four of them started talking about their trip to Luna Park (A Melbournian Amusement Park). Jess (let's say) said that their group passed this guy who looked like he was checking her out - until they heard him speak. He apparently said something like, "Oh my god, it is sooo HOT!" (because it was a warm day) - but in a very apparent stereotypically gay voice.

Jess said that he was probably checking out Cameron (let's say), who was with her at the time. They joked about passing this gay guy. "He was soo gay!" "I was so scared." "Keep your back against the wall!" They jeered. I had to sit there and nod and say, "yeah, that must've been scary..."

Honestly, a freaking monster is scary, not a person who is attracted to people of the same sex. Did you scream? Did you run for cover? And yeah, because he's gay he's gonna take you from behind, Cameron, in the middle of an amusement park, you ignorant bigot!! Argh!

That's my little rant.

 

Jesus Christ! I admire your self restraint! I can't imagine me sitting there and not saying anything!

 

Thanks lol. But I wasn't about to out myself to the bitchiest gossip queen in our year.
Did I say 'friends' before? Mmm they're more like just people who I occasionally talk to, not friends.

 

havent encountered any "real" homophobia. i think i am actually pretty lucky. i here people say gay and fag all the time though. i always notice every time someone says it.

i think we have to consider the fact that people are often kidding when they make fun of gay people because its the "cool" thing to do. its not really homophobia because im sure if they ever actually knew a gay person, they wouldnt be afraid of them.