dudeeee how do you hook up?

[bananas]

im hooking up with this really hot guy but i dont know how to im so ashamed to tell him that i have never hooked up before :|

[malachite]

everyone has a first time

[Rosina]

Hey, I see you're new here, welcome to the site!

Now, I hope you don't mind, but I see from your previous post that you're 15. I can tell you now what I really think first and foremost; it's really a little early to start hooking up with guys at your age.

I don't wish to sound harsh, but that's the way it is for nearly everyone your age - there's a tonne of more talk about hooking up than the actual hooking up that went on and peer-pressure's a nasty thing to have to feel. I can say this from personal experience looking back three years ago; everyone's got over that sort of stage and many have admitted that when they were 14/15 and said they hooked up with so-and-so they didn't really... and a HUGE number of people have said this.

I say this because, playing a little detective game here, you're worried and anxious about this? Is someone pressuring you, perhaps this guy or friends even just edging you on?

Don't be afraid to say no and don't feel like you ought to be hooking-up it's own sake. It's your life and you play by your rules, you dictate how fast you want it to go. So be careful and stay sensible, it doesn't matter what people think of you, they can't tell you when you're ready to do something or not. You only have one chance at now, so don't do something that you regret doing or will do; put it this way, there's no rush to do this, you've got your whole life a head of you. I didn't hook-up with anyone until I was 17, just under a year ago, and a lot will change and happen in two years, even though it may not sound like a long time at all.

The best relationships are biased on honesty and trust; the simple answer to your question is tell him that you've never hooked up and if he's an honourable guy he shouldn't rush you and allow you to go at your own pace. If he's not or says something like, "Oh come on, it's nothing..." or anything like that that gives you the impression that he's not got your best interests at heart, you leave his ass and get out of there, it's never a situation you need to find yourself in. Ever.


I'm sure others will give their opinion on this, but I'm just naturally cautious for your sake, call it gut-instinct.

[Black Cat]

I'm with Rosina. In my opinion the only thing a 15 year old should be hooking up is a stereo. But if it is advice you seek, I will tell you what I'd do in your situation:

As things start getting hot, tell him you've never done it before. If he's any kind of gentleman he'll respect that and help you out. Communicate too, if something feels good (or doesn't - especially if it hurts) then let him know! And good gravy use protection, no matter if he's your 1st or your 40th.

And if at any point you're starting to feel overwhelmed and want to stop - then let him know. Any sexual partner worth the time and energy it takes to get ready for that sort of thing should be able to respect your boundaries and the fact that you're a beginner.

Also, try not to forget, it is supposed to be fun. So while all these rules are definitely something to keep in mind, you should be enjoying yourself too.

[Chip]

Originally Posted by bananas

im hooking up with this really hot guy but i dont know how to im so ashamed to tell him that i have never hooked up before :|

How old is the person you're hooking up with? How did you meet him? What do you know about him? Sorry for all the questions, but these are all important things to consider when you're meeting someone.

I know it may seem like this is the most wonderful person in the world and would never do anything to hurt you but... particularly since you haven't done this before, you owe it to yourself to take some precautions to ensure your safety.

If you can tell us a little more about the situation, we can better help you to make smart choices for yourself.

[bananas]

this person is sixteen ive known him for years and i basically know evrything about him.

[Chip]

Assuming you've actually known him in person all this time (like through school or something) and not just over the 'net, then it's better than it initially sounded.

I tend to agree with the other posters that you would be best off waiting, but if you're insistent on going forward with this, then the best advice I can give you is go slowly, and go only as far as you feel comfortable with going, and use protection.

[bananas]

Originally Posted by Chip

Assuming you've actually known him in person all this time (like through school or something) and not just over the 'net, then it's better than it initially sounded.

I tend to agree with the other posters that you would be best off waiting, but if you're insistent on going forward with this, then the best advice I can give you is go slowly, and go only as far as you feel comfortable with going, and use protection.

Hooking up means kissing tem with toungue not haveing sex with them and yeahhh ...

[aceofnoise23]

Originally Posted by bananas

Hooking up means kissing tem with toungue not haveing sex with them and yeahhh ...

You should've made the title how do you make out then, not how do you hook up. :/ Hooking up in the adult world is having sex. x.x

And btw I have nothing for you, but I'm just saying.

[bananas]

Originally Posted by aceofnoise23

You should've made the title how do you make out then, not how do you hook up. :/ Hooking up in the adult world is having sex. x.x

And btw I have nothing for you, but I'm just saying.

yeaaaah well i did say im 15

[Chip]

Originally Posted by bananas

yeaaaah well i did say im 15

... and that's why everyone in the thread was concerned. 15 year olds making out is nothing problematic. 15 year olds hooking up is

[starfish]

Don't sweat it. I was quite a bit older than you the first time I made out with someone. Took me all of 5 seconds to figure it out.

[bananas]

Originally Posted by starfish

Don't sweat it. I was quite a bit older than you the first time I made out with someone. Took me all of 5 seconds to figure it out.

really?

---------- Post added 19th Jun 2011 at 05:11 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Chip

... and that's why everyone in the thread was concerned. 15 year olds making out is nothing problematic. 15 year olds hooking up is

well the term that us youngens use is hooking up

Originally Posted by bananas

well the term that us youngens use is hooking up

I am not too much older than you are. In my area/school however, hooking up, is sex.

So, I looked it up on Urban Dictionary and what I found among the various entries is that hooking up is

for middle school: making out.
for high school and beyond: any type of sexual activities usually refering to sex.

and

Hooking up has come to define sexual relationships for most of today's teens and young women. It can mean anything from kissing and touching to oral sex or intercourse. Vagueness is its hallmark. "A girl can say, 'I hooked up with so-and-so,' and no one knows what she did. It protects you and makes you a player at the same time"

So it goes as far as how much you trust Urban Dictionary