Self hating - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

PickAName4Me · 24th Jun 2011, 12:51 PM

Do you ever go through periods where you condemn yourself for being LGBT? I always do. I have a thing for rocker/emo guys and ALWAYS check them out and picture myself in bed with them. But I always call myself names and hate myself and feel disgusted.

Rikudo · 24th Jun 2011, 04:41 PM

Well seeing your orientation as unsure it's understandable. I think many of us when we begin to learn our sexuality go through a bit of stages hating yourself being one of them. Although not everybody does some people come to terms with themselves better than others.

I was in the same boat as in I didn't like the idea of being gay. However nowadays I've come to terms with my sexuality.

**TheEdend** · 24th Jun 2011, 05:33 PM

Its something that I think everyone goes through when they first start coming out to themselves, but it does go away with time and the more comfortable you get with yourself.

It takes time, but it definitely goes away the more you try. Some people take months and some people, like me, take years.

Black Cat · 24th Jun 2011, 06:09 PM

I hate myself for so many reasons, and I did even before I came out to myself. In all of my self-hatred though, I've never felt that I resented myself for being gay. But that's just me. Some people can't accept it right away, some can never accept it in fact. Fortunately I never experienced that problem firsthand.

Like Gus said above: It goes away the more you try. Some people take longer than others to accept it. Just give yourself time. And try not to be so hard on yourself.

RedState · 24th Jun 2011, 08:27 PM

Well...when I first admitted it to myself I did I must confess...because I had to give up a lot of future possibilities from a professional standpoint.

But there is a vast difference between admitting it to yourself and accepting it.

How often I wished there was an instruction manual for this...I looked everywhere, but there was not one.

It took me a while..a long while..and a lot of drugs and booze...to finally accept it. It is what it is, and I have finally come to terms with it...and I have no regrets

It is important not to blame yourself in this circumstance...because the cards were already dealt when you came into the world, there was nothing you could do to change that. Come to accept it on your own terms (as we all have done) and you will be ok.

malachite · 25th Jun 2011, 07:01 AM

I did when I was younger, not any more.
I'm proud of eing gay, of being different, I've come to terms with it and anyone else doesn't like well then they can go fuck off

24th Jun 2011, 12:51 PM	#1
PickAName4Me Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Not sure (still trying to figure it out) Posts: 11 Join Date: Jun 2011	Self hating Do you ever go through periods where you condemn yourself for being LGBT? I always do. I have a thing for rocker/emo guys and ALWAYS check them out and picture myself in bed with them. But I always call myself names and hate myself and feel disgusted.

24th Jun 2011, 04:41 PM	#2
Rikudo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 2,198 Join Date: Dec 2009	Re: Self hating Well seeing your orientation as unsure it's understandable. I think many of us when we begin to learn our sexuality go through a bit of stages hating yourself being one of them. Although not everybody does some people come to terms with themselves better than others. I was in the same boat as in I didn't like the idea of being gay. However nowadays I've come to terms with my sexuality. __________________ "Out of love, sacrifice is born... Hate is born... and we are able to know pain!"

24th Jun 2011, 05:33 PM	#3
TheEdend Hope will never be silent EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Extended family still doesn't know Location: Orlando, Florida Age: 21 Posts: 2,831 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Self hating Its something that I think everyone goes through when they first start coming out to themselves, but it does go away with time and the more comfortable you get with yourself. It takes time, but it definitely goes away the more you try. Some people take months and some people, like me, take years. __________________ “You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result” -Gandhi

24th Jun 2011, 06:09 PM	#4
Black Cat As Seen On Hoarders... Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: This cat is out of the bag - I mean closet Location: Pennsylvania, with the cows Age: 21 Posts: 2,391 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: Self hating I hate myself for so many reasons, and I did even before I came out to myself. In all of my self-hatred though, I've never felt that I resented myself for being gay. But that's just me. Some people can't accept it right away, some can never accept it in fact. Fortunately I never experienced that problem firsthand. Like Gus said above: It goes away the more you try. Some people take longer than others to accept it. Just give yourself time. And try not to be so hard on yourself. __________________ "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." - Mr. Magorium

24th Jun 2011, 08:27 PM	#5
RedState The Grendel to Everyone's Beowulf Full Member Gender: Male Out Status: 2 Location: The Southeastern Conference Age: 30 Posts: 1,448 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Self hating Well...when I first admitted it to myself I did I must confess...because I had to give up a lot of future possibilities from a professional standpoint. But there is a vast difference between admitting it to yourself and accepting it. How often I wished there was an instruction manual for this...I looked everywhere, but there was not one. It took me a while..a long while..and a lot of drugs and booze...to finally accept it. It is what it is, and I have finally come to terms with it...and I have no regrets It is important not to blame yourself in this circumstance...because the cards were already dealt when you came into the world, there was nothing you could do to change that. Come to accept it on your own terms (as we all have done) and you will be ok. __________________ Last edited by RedState; 24th Jun 2011 at 08:40 PM..

25th Jun 2011, 07:01 AM	#6
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 6,480 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Self hating I did when I was younger, not any more. I'm proud of eing gay, of being different, I've come to terms with it and anyone else doesn't like well then they can go fuck off __________________ It's the 21st century, your bigotry is outdated. Either upgrade or go away.

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