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How do I take the pressure off of dating and relationships?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by perfectscorpio, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. perfectscorpio

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2009
    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    For as long as I've been out of the closet (which is about a year and a half), I've desperately wanted to be in a relationship with a guy. Now, all I want is to just really focus on myself and all the good things I've got going in my life and also figure out some stuff about myself. One of the things I need to figure out is why I seem to put so much pressure on dating and relationships. Whenever I like a guy, I put so much pressure on myself that it never about me. It about them. I'm not really my true self when I'm around him. I put on this facade of someone that I think or hope he would like instead of my true self. It becomes all about him and not me. Also, with the guys I like and whenever I see an attractive guy, or sometimes any gay guy, from looking at him, I already imagine me being with him fully, sometimes long term...and I do all this before even meeting them. I really wanna get past this and start to build great friendships with guys without thinking of whether or not it could be something more, but I don't really know how.

    So, how the hell do I take the pressure off dating and relationships and just go with the flow and have fun?

    Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
     
  2. I don't know if I'm the best person to give advice on this, but I'd say just work on being really confident with who you are, regardless of who's around you. Then, completely stop trying. Think of every guy you meet as a friend when you first meet them, unless he seems into you (asks for your number, etc). The only way to not freak out is to feel good about yourself and relax. This calm confidence is sexy, so try that :slight_smile:

    I dont' know if that helped at all, but I hope so.