Relationship age difference?

[alexi12]

What do you guys think about age differences in relationships? What do you think is too much difference? Do you think it is different between homosexual and heterosexual relationships?

Please respect everyone's opinion! I just wondered what you all think.

[Danny19]

I personally wouldnt date anyone thats 5 years older than me. its okay if anyone else would. i just think thats a good number for me. Anyone older than that well has different ideas. Like im 19 so im just starting to live and have fun with friends. But its different for someone who is around 30. They are about ready to settle down. you get me? Like 5 years is kinda good cuz they are probably going almost the same pace. However i would prefer someone at most 2 years older. thats not much and i kinda like em a little older.

I think that anything more than 5 is too much. but sometimes it could work out. however anything more than 15 is for sure a no. thats too much.

I dont think that there is many differences between homosexual and heterosexual couples.I think they are the same.

[Markio]

Someone on here once said that the maximum age difference between partners is [your age] divided by two, plus seven. So for someone 24, they can date as young as 19. For someone 40, they can date as young as 27. It seems pretty close to the social norm. Although if you're really in love with someone who loves you back, screw society and their imposing norms!

[TheWanderer]

I dont really see a big deal with any age difference. However, i feel each person must be an adult capable of making their own decisions.

[HazMattic_Force]

uhh depends on your age tbh ... under 18 i think you should wait til 18 [ for us ] so its legal .... but other than that i can't comment on ...

[dl72]

I think if you are older, 30's + there is no big deal in age. But if you in your teens, I don't think you should date anyone too much older than you, maybe 5 year difference. I agree that you are in different stages of your life.

[alexi12]

I have a friend who is 17, and his girlfriend is 14. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't think my friend is trying to take advantage of her at all, but obviously, some people find it very odd.

[Just Adam]

Well I'm 22 1/2 and my partner is 17 1/2 we see no problem with the age. There are more important and difficult things than that

[fiddledeedee]

At the moment I won't date anyone; a friend of mine advised that I should not take any relationship lightly and I should wait to get a boyfriend until I am older. At that point she was going out with the guy she is now married to. I have set myself a bar of not dating boys or girls until I am 16. At that point, I would probably stick to someone at most 2 years different to me, but I think that age gets less important as you get older. What do I know, though; I'm only 14!

[GuardianKitten]

I'm 16, he's 15, we're both about to turn

My twin brother is dating a 20y/o.

Honestly after the YOUNGER person hits their 20s, it's a non issue. Before then case by case, using maturity and compatability

[Sammy Kitty]

I was searching this topic online and thought this might be a good place to share.

I am 19 and my boy friend is 46. I feel very close and connected to him. we both support each-other in many ways, but I am coming to realize I feel restless and I am worried its the age difference and that if I was with someone around my age it would not be a problem. Any thoughts on this?

[pazzaragazza]

I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 27. Personally, i have no problem with age differences, though the law (damm) says otherwise. So long as age doesn't get in the way of the people having a kind, loving relationship i say go for it.

[Chip]

Hi, Sammy, and welcome to EC.

19 and 46 is a huge difference at your age, and that large an age gap almost never works in the long term. The reason is because of exactly what you're feeling... in nearly all relationships where there is that level of age difference, it comes about because initially the younger person is relying on the older person in an imbalanced way. As the younger person starts to grow and feel more independent, the relationship no longer works as well -- most such older/younger relationships require a dynamic of dependence at some level (financial, emotional, etc) to work -- and the younger person, as he becomes emotionally healthier, becomes more inclined to seek out people his own age.

The problem for your boyfriend is that he is probably stuck; a guy that age who is emotionally healthy would never be in a relationship with someone young enough to be his son, and I'm guessing that you are neither the first, nor will you be the last young person he's gone out with. So it sucks for your boyfriend, but really, you will be happier in the long term if you move in the direction of being with someone closer to your own age.

[Chip]

Originally Posted by pazzaragazza

I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 27. Personally, i have no problem with age differences, though the law (damm) says otherwise. So long as age doesn't get in the way of the people having a kind, loving relationship i say go for it.

There is no possible way for a relationship between someone 15 and someone 27 to be emotionally healthy. That's why it's illegal. It may *seem* healthy to you now, but I assure you that at some point, you'll figure out why it isn't. Hopefully it won't have caused too much emotional damage to you at that point.

[Just Passing]

In general, I personally don't mind what the relationship age difference is, unless the one person in question is in their teens (pre-sixteen) and their partner is post-teens (no offence to the above poster) and I also felt a bit creepy when I read about a thirty-five year old man who fell in love and got married to a seventy year old woman, but that's my problem not theirs.

For me, I'm not sure where I'd go in a relationship age wise as I have never been in one. I'd feel odd if I dated someone around the same age or older than my sibling or cousins, but I could possibly look past that if I loved them. I also wouldn't want to date someone too much younger than me yet, as I'm only nineteen and I would only date someone who was born in 1995 or older, because they are still not allowed to have sex until sixteen and it would be awkward for me.

So eventually, I could date two extremes when I'm older, but let's see.

[LemonCake]

I'd like to date a woman around my age, that is between 20 and 30 I guess. I would go slightly older if I found a lady who was awesome, but I don't think I'd date anyone under 20 though.

I think age difference does matter in a lot of relationships.People are in different stages in their lives at different ages and that can cause conflict. A 35 year old may be interested in having children, but a 20-something may only want to focus on their career and partying.

I don't agree with anyone over the age of say 20 dating something under 18 though.

[Random Dent]

Originally Posted by Chip

There is no possible way for a relationship between someone 15 and someone 27 to be emotionally healthy. That's why it's illegal. It may *seem* healthy to you now, but I assure you that at some point, you'll figure out why it isn't. Hopefully it won't have caused too much emotional damage to you at that point.

I have to agree...

I don't feel comfortable even thinking someone younger than me is attractive...makes me feel like a creeper.

/shudders.

[LemonCake]

Originally Posted by Random Dent

I have to agree...

I don't feel comfortable even thinking someone younger than me is attractive...makes me feel like a creeper.

/shudders.

Haha I know what you mean. I feel that way too.

[Steven791]

When I was in my teens, I figured I wouldn't ever go older than five years over, and no more than a year younger. but now that i'm turning 20, i think the age group i'm aiming for is 20-30

[addyction]

i just turned 21. my boyfriend is 17. 3+ years age difference.
i'm not gonna lie. it kinda bothered me when he first told me he had feelings for me 'cause he's so young lol.
but then we started to talk on the phone every night, once for 8 straight hours. it's insane how much we had in common. i was in choir and i was a choir major. he's in choir. we've started writing a duet together. we sing together, we sing to each other. and he's a bass, i'm a tenor; our voices complimemt each others except my voice is a looot more poppy, rock-influenced. but whatever
and we both play video games. pokemon, mario party, super smash bros. . .
i was at his house yesterday, and he asked if i played super smash bros., and i was, like, "yeah!!" (i was in a competing team once for tourneys lol), and he was, like, "you're like the best boyfriend. you actually wanna play video games with me; most guys'll play but i can tell they really don't want to. and you sing with me!"
and every time i sing, he makes this shuddering sound, and when i finish, he's like, "ahhh that voice "
and i genuinely have fun with him. we'll go to the mall or the movies and there's never an awkward moment. it's always fun. we're always talking and everything we talk about's always interesting. and just ahh.
it's awesome.
and i trust him.
he trusts me.
he knows i have my share of gay friends, but he knows i wouldn't flirt with any of them. and he talks like he has so much respect for relationships. for me. i know i can trust him.
the age difference scared me at first, but now, i couldn't care less