Being the third person

[heatqueen]

Has anyone ever been the 'third' person in a relationship? That's sort of how I feel at the moment. I mean, I'm not technically in the relationship but somehow me and this girl keep flirting with each other (and have kissed occasionally in drinking games and stuff) in front of the boyfriend and he is somehow okay with this. I think if those two weren't together there would be so much potential for me and her. Has anyone else ever felt like the person that could potentially interfere (even without meaning to) with a relationship?

[TheEdend]

Sadly, yes. I don't recommend it for anyone and its way more trouble than its worth. Even if you do end up with the other person, then you are just ending up with a cheater.

It is fun and exciting, specially if they are cute, but I would say you should set boundaries and fast.

If you decide to go for it, then just know that there is a lot at stake. Not to sound dramatic, but, speaking from experience, the stupid drama can be ridiculous xD

[Pseudojim]

I am currently the third to a heterosexual relationship, but not physically involved with the guy (he is straight)

he does however like to be involved.

we are all openly communicating with each other about the situation though, it sounds like your situation is different.

If you want to actually date the girl as well, it's important not to do so with the intention of making her leave her boyfriend, that would be homewrecking.

You really need to talk to her (and then him) about it i think, instead of keeping everything inside you, where it can potentially hurt both you and them.

The model we are working under:

The other two are the real relationship. Cohabitation, love, sex, the whole shebang.

What I have with them is purely sex and friendship, which may or may end up being very close friendship, but which is agreed upon not to become anything more than that. They are not polyamorous. Therefore, if either one of us is developing feelings we know work against this model, we are to talk about it. Full disclosure, no exceptions.

It's working rather well.

[heatqueen]

Well, the sort-of agreement that we have at the moment is:

Basically they're a bit of a long-distant relationship because they don't go to the same uni, so they agreed that he is allowed to kiss other girls...and so is she. The funny thing is both of the times we kissed it was in his presence with him pretty much egging us on. There has been no lying between us so there hasn't been any cheating, nor do I intend there to be.

I do quite like her, but I know that I do not want to be the person that gets in the way of their relationship. The last thing I want to be is a home wrecker. Pseudojim - looking at your agreement, it looks like the kind of thing I would like to try because then I could get physical with her without hurting the relationship. I think that I could be able to (at least for now) keep my emotions in check.

Me and her are going shopping today, yay