Saying I'm a lesbian.

I find it easier to say "I'm Gay" then I do to say "I'm a lesbian". It just doesn't feel right. I know lesbian is the "proper" word for it, but it just doesn't feel right to me. I'm nothing of the stereotype. I'm very feminine, very intelligent, have an equal amount of guy and girl friends, I don't act like the only thing in life is telling people I'm gay and that I like girls.
I'm just a shy person and if someone asks me if I have a boyfriend, I tell them, no, I'm gay, and if you have a problem with that, you can get lost because you're definitely the kind of person I want to hang out with.
My advice, develop armour. metaphorical armour. Wrap yourself in it and tell yourself positive things until other people's opinions of you are like water on a duck's back. It just slides off, no effect. You're strong and you just need to enable that strength.

 

It might not be exactly the same thing but I had great trouble saying 'My son is gay', the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth, my throat closed up, tears welled up in my eyes and then the sobs would come.

I practiced saying it in my head, then whispering it to myself, then saying it. The first time I said it was to my therapist. She sat in silence with me for half an hour while I tried desperately to compose myself. In the end, mid sob, the words came out in a gush. I don't know if she understood a single word but there, that was my 'coming out'.

Once I had said it to one person it got a little, tiny weeny itsy bitsy, bit easier for the next. I am not ashamed of my son or myself but I'm not ready to shout it from the roof tops but I can talk about it in a conversation without it upsetting me especially.

So if you were asking me, I would say yes I think it is perfectly normal. Everybody feels things differently and handles things differently. Don't worry if you want to get there you will, and if you don't then it doesn't matter because this is your life and you can call yourself what you like! :icon_bigg

 

Yeah, I'd agree and say it is alot harder talking about your sexual preference outloud. For me its because:

A) it's not something that you can smoothly slip into a conversation.

& B) You're sharing something very intimate with them and exposing yourself in a way.

I generally try to steer clear of the subject alot because it is awkward to bring up & I'm rather guarded around most people. I also don't like feeling vulnerable and whenever I come out to someone I hate the anticipation & waiting for their response. Although I know I don't NEED their acceptance. But I do realise that this topic will come up at some stage & I will need to address it more openly. I'm not sure whether it gets easier everytime you tell someone....but so far I've yet to feel at ease talking about my sexuality with people who aren't gay as well.

I also prefer to say gay rather than lesbian. I've said lesbian a few times but I just don't feel comfortable with that. So gays easier for me.

 

Yes, actually saying the words are hard. In fact, I came out to one friend merely by implying that I was gay through innuendo, I didn't actually say the words. The funny thing is, I would be fine telling a total stranger, I just have a hard time saying it out loud to people I know. I think part of the problem is I don't quite feel I fit in with the perceived gay/lesbian culture. I do fit quite a few of the stereotypes, but I'm I feel like most people perceive lesbians as girls just messing around, and I don't want to be lumped into that category.

Like everyone else has said, I am not a fan of the word lesbian. I don't like the sound of the word because it makes me thing of some disease, don't know why (not at all implying I think lesbianism is a disease). I just say I'm gay.

I think over time it gets easier to say. I'm pretty laid back so I don't ever really make a big deal about it, I've told the people I wanted to and couldn't care if the rest of the world knows or not.

 

I remember at first I could barely say it to myself. Although now I can see that really it's only gotten easyer over time and the more people I've told. So just hang in there (it might be quite some time) but there will be a day when it's no longer be hard to just say it.

 

Bisexual is the hardest word for me to say, and I've had to explain antidisestablishmentarianism before In all seriousness, it's like I have to force it out when I'm coming out to someone, then I kinda freeze like I've said something terribly wrong. No idea why, either ; ;

 

i have always had this, not just with "gay", but with lots of words that reveal something personal or vulnerbale about me, or to do with sexual matters. however, i hope i'm getting over this slowly. of the people i've told, i haven't just said "i'm gay" to any of them, but that is partly because i'm not sure whether i'm gay/bi/what. i hope that one day, when i've worked things out, maybe when i tell my parents, i will be able to say it out straight. it's good to hear that so many other people have had the same experience tho

 

I know exactly what you mean. Plus Bisexual is such a clumsy word anyway! It's like saying: "I have something to tell you guys... I think I'm homosexual." It just doesn't quite work...

 

I know exactly how you feel. I've been out for a while now and I've never said "I'm gay" I've typed it online like now and thought about it in my head but I can't ever remember actually saying the words. Whenever I've come close to saying it I just can't get the words out. When coming out to people its been letters, emails and when on the phone or in person the other person had to guess to which I replied "yes".

 

Yeah, it sucks that there really isn't a better word for bisexual. Funny thing is though, I'm not even sure that I am bisexual, heh. If I figure out that I'm not, I'll have to come out to everyone all over again ; ; AND I'll learn how hard it is to say that I'm gay outloud ; ;

 

Yeah, I totally get what you're saying. I didnt say the words out loud until like a year after I had actually come out. In fact the first time Ii told someone I used a code we had made up to denote that we thought someone was gay (pulling on the lobe of our right ear, when she asked me who I liked)

But now, I dont have much of a problem with it. Sometimes it feels clumsy coming out of my mouth, but I think its cos we are so used to being petrified that we shouldnt let anything slip that we build up little barriers in our heads; like, "Wait can't say that, sounds too gay, she might figure it out" but when we say the words out loud we have to force through the barriers we have created for ourselves

 

Im alitle late oh well

At 1st for me, I decide to lie by coming out as bi, i sai dbi, which is short, so it was quite easy. Now I said Im gay, which is another short word, which most people use it, which iis just a little bit harder than gay

It depends on who you come out to, coming out to strangers, those who dont know, are much much easier than to your friends, and teh hardest is to your parents, so I rather let people know who I am before I talk to them more. But it has a downside though, they may not support you as much as your bestfriends if you come out to them

 

I've been out (to myself, at least) for around a year and a half. I've been out to my friends for a little over a year. I still dislike having to tell people I'm gay. I'd much rather have someone else do it for me.

 

My coming out to my mom consisted of a struggle with her pretending not to know what I was saying in an effort to get me to say the phrase "I'm gay."

But I avoided it and she ended up asking "you're gay?" Which meant I still avoided it, you know saying it to her. It's still weird and I can't help but say it quietly when I do say it. Even today in the store she said it in a low voice but then repeated it louder, which was positive. Just takes time I guess to weild it with strength and not timidly.

 

Oh yah, I hate saying it. Maybe that's why even though I know I should tell my friends I sitll don't. It's just somehow by saying gay it's gonna bring alot of confusion to friends, and it's gonna place me in a stereotype. And it's true, most people see being "Gay" as being "Fab"...I'm not quite fab as I lack a wanting of tidyness and my fashion sense fails at where my mom lets it lol.

 

Yes it is hard. I've been a practicing lesbian for 15 or so years now and I only tell those people who I'm considering sharing my personal space with. If someone ask me i'll break down and tell it. My family HATES the thought or reality of it so I don't tell them anything at all.