Masculine gays??

[Tyler18]

So, a lot of television shows portray gay men as flamboyant and feminine. But, this makes me kind of angry because it makes a lot of the general public believe that all gay guys are feminine and that they all fit the stereotype. I know masculine or (straight-acting gays) exist, because i've met some. But sometimes they are hard to come by. Are most still just closeted??

[VentinIntrovert]

I totally agree with you. I was just at an annual gay rodeo this past weekend, and I discovered that I was homophobic. As a masculine gay male, I am just not comfortable with overly feminine males. Flambouyant or somewhat feminine guys I am okay with. The ones that over do it just creeps me out. Same for the ones that like to wear nothing but their underwear or being a total slut. Being gay is one thing, but being inappropriate makes the rest of us look bad. I wasn't too impressed...

[Shevanel]

I feel like these same threads (among other "flammable topics") come up every month or so and people go crazy. It's quite interesting, but tiresome.

To be on topic, yes, there are masculine guys that have same-sex interests (Bisexuals and homosexuals). Are a lot not out? Sure. I'm someone I'd consider to be more masculine than feminine, but most people are a mixture between the two anyway.

[joshk]

You'll meet plenty of masculine and wonderful gay men in the next few years—it's just that they may not be quite so obvious at the moment. Keep an eye out for the guys who keep an eye out for you.

[Owen]

Masculine gay guys are just less visible than feminine gay guys. A feminine gay guy doesn't need to come out to your for you to conclude that he might be gay, but a masculine gay guy does. They might still be closeted, since life is still easier for the closeted in some places and they can get away with it, but it's also a matter of them needing to tell you in order for you to know. People also tend to remember exceptions much more strongly than cases that go along with their expectations, so that probably plays a part in it.

[aidan]

Feminine gay men receive discrimination from both outside the community and from within, so naturally I'm completely sympathetic of them.

I think it's great that gay people are portrayed in the media, even if it does emphasise a stereotype. I think it only becomes an issue when they start portraying gays negatively.

[bookworm43]

well i think that a lot of people agree with you on that, because there's this show called Degrassi. I'm sure you've heard of it 'cause you're a kid too, but for all those who are less aware of teen shows, it's basically a teen drama, and it covers all the minefields (is that the correct expression?) of growing up. There's this character in it called Riley, and he's masculine- he's head quarterback on the football team, and is out of the closet. he really is inspiring- and it shows a lot of people that not all gay men are really like that. it's a really good show, to say the least. there's also a female to male transgender kid named Adam. to say the least, it's a really awesome show, and it honestly gives people a different view on things.

[mnguy]

I estimate that most gay guys are average in terms of masculinity. I agree that popular media generally does not represent us accurately in terms of masculinity. I do have a lot of respect for the more outwardly gay guys who are brave enough to be themselves regardless of what anyone else thinks.

[nerdyboy87]

Being rather feminine myself, I think you should just let people be who they are. Otherwise, you are just as bad as any other homophobic person.

[Eric]

Among the gay guys I know, most of them are feminine. I consider myself more masculine than feminine, but some of my friends would argue against that statement. xD

But, yeah. I agree that it's more important to just be yourself than worry about being masculine/feminine.

[TheEdend]

But, yeah. I agree that it's more important to just be yourself than worry about being masculine/feminine.

Too true.

Also, weirdly enough, I know A LOT of gay people that complain about how annoying feminine gays are and I swear they are always the most flamboyant of people themselves. Makes for a good chuckle.

Everything has pretty much been said already, so I'll just say that masculine gay guys are definitely out there though. I would say like 70% of this forum would say that they are masculine. That's just a guesstimate though. I personally love being able to be as feminine or masculine as I feel like. Most of the time I would say its a combo of the two. Def more feminine tho.

[Just Passing]

I'm a masculine gay guy with a slight flamboyant tendency, but it is rather subtle.

That being said, whether it's because I'm still young or just nearly out the closet, but I remember disliking camp gay guys. It was mainly because of how irritating the stereotype was in the media and how the majority of the characters with that fixed personality were mostly dis likable plus I was still getting to grips with my sexuality and I felt that that sort of personality prevented any chance of being gay on my own terms.

I still have some dislike against feminine gay guys, but only for those reasons and now I'm almost out of the closet, I want to get over my dislike for feminine gay guys as one day, they'll possibly be my partner.

[Danny19]

Originally Posted by VentinIntrovert

I totally agree with you. I was just at an annual gay rodeo this past weekend, and I discovered that I was homophobic. As a masculine gay male, I am just not comfortable with overly feminine males. Flambouyant or somewhat feminine guys I am okay with. The ones that over do it just creeps me out. Same for the ones that like to wear nothing but their underwear or being a total slut. Being gay is one thing, but being inappropriate makes the rest of us look bad. I wasn't too impressed...

im sorry to say that i sometimes feel a little uncomfortable with overly flamboyant gay guys..idk why bbut i do. and sometimes i feel bad for that...lol

[Robert]

Who cares?

You should stop being so insecure. Theres nothing wrong with being gay and it doesnt matter how you act.

[solarcat]

Originally Posted by Gamer am I

Masculine gay guys are just less visible than feminine gay guys. A feminine gay guy doesn't need to come out to your for you to conclude that he might be gay, but a masculine gay guy does.

That's probably why homosexuals tend to be somewhat exaggerated on TV, etc; to make it obvious that the character is gay. Otherwise how would you know they're the gay character? Frankly, I think it's kind of annoying, too. The only characters I can think of who aren't so exaggerated are Gus and Wally from Mission Hill.


Personally, I kind of like the effeminate type, and find it kind of cute. I myself am slightly effeminate (though more boyish than anything else), so maybe that's why I don't mind.

[Paper Heart]

A good documentary to check out, The Butch Factor (its on Netflix!, as well as Logo on occasion) definitely presented this topic in a more developed way than this forum could possibly present. I mean most people seem intrigued with it, so go take a look. As Shevanel pointed out, this "Why are TV gays always flaming??" topic comes up so often, I'm assuming there is interest into looking into it.

[Bibliophile]

Originally Posted by solarcat

That's probably why homosexuals tend to be somewhat exaggerated on TV, etc; to make it obvious that the character is gay. Otherwise how would you know they're the gay character? Frankly, I think it's kind of annoying, too. The only characters I can think of who aren't so exaggerated are Gus and Wally from Mission Hill.


Personally, I kind of like the effeminate type, and find it kind of cute. I myself am slightly effeminate (though more boyish than anything else), so maybe that's why I don't mind.

Ok I have to concur here........ I personally like the effeminate type of guy. Though I just dont get how it can be seen as negative among the gay community. I mean who cares how you act so long as its legal right? Sure the walking stereotype can get annoying but short of that why is it an issue? Please forgive me if I sound ignorant I just have very little exposure other then here to the LGBT community.

[Emberstone]

Physically, I am more masculine in my apperence. emotionally, I am kind of in the middle. mentally, I am not trying to be anything but myself.

[Just Passing]

Originally Posted by Emberstone

Physically, I am more masculine in my apperence. emotionally, I am kind of in the middle. mentally, I am not trying to be anything but myself.

This actually sounds a lot like myself.

[TheEdend]

im sorry to say that i sometimes feel a little uncomfortable with overly flamboyant gay guys..idk why bbut i do. and sometimes i feel bad for that...lol

The main reason why this happens its because we live in a society that LOVES gender roles. Whenever we see someone who defies those roles then we freak out. We don't know how to treat them, act around them or sometimes even think of them. Reason why group of people like emos or "metrosexuals" are also seen as weird and put into the gay category. Not because they are gay, but because they don't follow the gender roles. Something that I think its changing, but its something so ingrained into our brains that its hard to look past it.

A good documentary to check out, The Butch Factor (its on Netflix!, as well as Logo on occasion) definitely presented this topic in a more developed way than this forum could possibly present. I mean most people seem intrigued with it, so go take a look. As Shevanel pointed out, this "Why are TV gays always flaming??" topic comes up so often, I'm assuming there is interest into looking into it.

Thanks for the recommendation. Going to watch it when I can