Bisexuality and public view on it

I've found that I tend to sway from one side to the other. Its almost like when you have a crush on someone, really crushing on this person and a few months later crushing on another. One day I find myself doing nothing but spotting hot girls and next week all depressed and wishing for a BF lol.

 

I'll be honest, I didn't particularly like bisexuality or the idea of it when I was discovering my sexuality (and not once did I identify as it, where as I've flipped from straight to gay to asexual) and part of the reason was because I thought they had the best of both worlds. That and I thought they had it easy.

But as I grew up, I realised that this was a simple minded and selfish point of view to have and realised that bisexuals had the same issues as gay people when coming out, etc. Regardless of how someone comes out sexually, it must be hard, so I sympathise.

I think part of the reason some gays don't like the idea of bisexuals is if they have a relationship and then later on if they split up, the person who is bisexual has another relationship with the opposite sex, it'll potentially make their former partner feel inadequate and possibly jealous that they can just move on to anyone they wanted gender-wise.

Would I date someone who was bisexual? Definitely, it would make an interesting experience even with the risk of splitting up and finding out they would date a woman. It would be hard, but it's not my life, it's theirs and they should be able to fall in love with a man or woman whenever they want. It's confusing, but it's definitely interesting.

 

I honestly don't understand the issue. If a guy leaves me for another person, I'm going to be devastated (or not) regardless of whether the new person is male of female.

 

I have a lesbian friend who doesn't "believe" in bisexuality or anything other than strict hetero/homosexuality. She thinks that most bisexuals are acting to get the attention of others or they are in the process of discovering that they're homosexual, not heterosexual. Her idea goes with your latter point: that bisexual is midway between coming out, but with only one foot out of the door, so to speak.

I don't understand why this is an issue either. When someone brings with it up with me, I throw my hands in the air with "I like people."

 

This.

If my boyfriend left me for a guy or a girl I would be equally pissed off and depressed. I have heard people say that bisexuals are just gay people who don't want to fully admit it yet (It was even said on the liberating and diverse show Glee, of all places), and I bet there are many gay people who say they are bi because they're not ready to say they're gay.

However, if someone says to you they're bi, ASSUME THEY ARE BI, unless later on they state otherwise. Because the more likely to actually be bi than secretly gay.

 

You hit it right on the head. Especially the part about Glee, considering Brittany identifies as bi-curious.

I dated a bisexual girl who did dump me for a dude. Her best friend (whom I later dated) was also bisexual, so the possibility of her dumping me for her best friend was apparent as well. Her betrayal (I believe she cheated on me before she dumped me) still hurt regardless of the gender of the person she chose me over.

Bisexuality isn't a choice. It never has been, it never will be. Sure, there are people who are bisexual who are more attracted to the opposite gender, but they still count. The fact that they can admit to having same-sex attractions is a very powerful thing. Honestly, at one point I identified as bisexual because in a very small part of my sexual identity I'm attracted to men, but the idea of dating a man or sleeping with a man doesn't feel right, like it's not what I'm supposed to do. I dated a few guys before I met my ex-girlfriend, but when I was with her everything fell into place. The reason why I felt wrong in my past relationships was because I didn't feel the same kind of attraction (physically, emotionally, sexually) toward men that I feel toward women.

I came out as bisexual and I had to deal with constant, "You're just gay but too afraid to admit it." Which in some ways was the truth, but in other ways it wasn't. I identify as gay because I'm attracted to women, I want to date women, sleep with women, even though there's a small part of me that is attracted to men on a mostly aesthetic level. I would rather have a guy's clothes than take them off, even if I do find him attractive.

Bisexual people, whether they decide to date the same sex or the opposite sex are an integral part of the LBGT community and they should be treated as such. Gay people know what it's like to be told, "You're in denial," or, "It's just a phase." We should NEVER use those lines on another person just because their sexual identity is different than ours. Promoting equality in our own community is going to help us promote equality for us everywhere. If we don't fight this fight together, we will lose.

 

This this this.

It's not your business to label someone's sexuality. I don't care if you have suspicions that they're not really bi, you've got to let them figure their own sexuality out.

 

Part of the reason i've never really come out to a lot of people is the general perception of bisexuality. You always get the people, both straight and gay, who don't believe a person can be bi. For a long time i didn't know whether i was lesbian or bi but once i stopped and really thought about it i like both, not equally and not at the same time. I got through phases of liking men more than women and then i'll have a spell where i want to be with a woman more than a man.

 

Seems to me being Bisexual with phases such as this could be a living hell. What kind of love life could you have if in a few days/months/years you find yourself not being attracted to your spouses gender anymore?

 

Well, i indentify myself as bisexual because i feel some things i'm pretty sure a Gay person wouldn't feel like..dreaming with heterosexual sexual acts (which is mainly the only kind of sexual dreams i have). Although i barely watch heterosexual porn, because i don't feel like it (80% of the times). These are just 2 rough points. And when i'm in love with someone, if its a girl its like i completely forget my gay side, if its a guy then i completely forget to "like" girls, lol

Now If you wanna know the opinion of the people around me..well, when i first came out, the 2 friends i came out to didn't believe me, they tought i was just wanting attention (they didn't tell me, i figured that out 1 year later lol ). Today its completely fine, they all respect my way to be, they understand that i like both genders. My guy friends talk about girls with me, while i talk about guys with my girl friends. when i'm into guys one day, and into girls the other day, we even joke around about it, laugh about it. I guess everyone is comfortable with it. I consider myself very lucky, thought....

 

Being that i haven't really had any long term relationships i don't think i could answer this properly, maybe someone else could. However, from my experience of being attracted to someone else i find that if i'm attracted to one gender, i'm attracted to that specific person. I don't think that i would stop being attracted to that person if my preference happened to swing more towards the other gender, i'd still be attracted to that person for who they were, not just their gender. Does that make sense?

Also, if i'm going through a period where i'm attracted to men, it's more like a percentage of attraction. so it'll be like i'm 70% attracted to men, but still 30% attracted to women, so i really don't get the 100% attraction to 1 gender, it's more like my attraction moves around somewhere in the middle.

 

Thanks mischa91, It's not the gender that becomes the attraction beyond the first date I guess, it's the person and their personality that sparks our interest. Bisexuals just have a larger pool to choose from...LUCKY! :lol:

 

i feel so bad for all real bisexuals: i guess i'm one of those "ill say im bi, but really i'M gay" people.
i just didn't know how to go about coming out, especially since ive still made out and stuff with guys. so i thought now being out as "the lesbian" would be a bit weird and no one would believe me anyway...and i wasn't completly sure, either. but now ive become more and more sure but exept for one friend no one knows im a lesbian. not that many people think im bi either, but there are a few..

 

I find it irritating and disappointing when people, especially people who are also gay, question the legitimacy of bisexuality as an orientation. I say this because there are plenty of straight people who hold that homosexuality is "wrong," unnatural, a "phase," and illegitimate. For a gay person to say the same about bisexuality strikes me as hypocritical. Sexuality is not binary, it's a spectrum. Everyone is different. I consider myself bi, though it's safe to say that I'm more drawn to men than women, generally. But I'm also not 100% un-attracted to and uninterested in women. An individual's understanding of themselves can be at odds with others' perceptions of them. Maybe that's one of the sources of this disconnect when there's a lack of acceptance.