So went to visit my friend at the University and just happened to be a Tuesday... while on campus I swear I saw everyone, just about all of my old friends. Tuesday's are the 'it' night at this one club "The Saint." Back in Spring when I lived on campus that was the destination for me and my friends every Tuesday night. But that was back then I was "straight" and didn't get to fully enjoy it.. I guess. Anyways, only been back on slow nights that definately were not worth it, SOO was excited about going on that day I saw my old friends. Of course they had plans to go already, we all met up and it was pretty fun. I really do go to dance and have a good time, and I got really upset afterwards for lots of reasons. It was like, awesome for a while then I was upset by everything.... It seems like how could you find a good quality person to date at a club? My reasoning had been: "well I go to the club, there has to be some people that aren't drugged out or just after sex." But I just don't think I need to be there, often at least. Or rather I should stop going with the idea that I could meet someone and maybe I wouldn't get discouraged when I don't. So I really don't see going frequently anymore in my future. I did get danced on by this one girl though, that was pretty nice. Hehe:eusa_danc
I think you've hit the nail on the head... Go out to a club just to have a good time. Going with the expectation that one day you'll meet someone there simply sets you up for disappointment time after time after time. Assuming you won't allows you to relax and have a really good time - which is the state you need to be in to find that 'special someone' anyway!
i was done within 10 minutes after going to one. i've posted about my experience before, so i'm not gonna like, bore you guys with it again haha
Well, they've got their advantages, but as a whole they're not that great. However, if you look in the right places, you can get free condoms which is nice.
I totally know what you mean. That's always been my reasoning too... sadly it's hard statistically because I think a lot of people are relatively mindless... or at least go to the clubs intending to be mindless. I still like going from time to time, though, as long as I have friends with me. I don't think I would ever go to a club on my own.
Yeah, my problem is... when I'm the only friend who is there to have a good time and they are all dealing with relationship drama then and there. But even that is only partly what gets to me, since I usually do my own thing without them. I dunno, that whole mindset of "don't look for a boyfriend and you can get one" is a load of crap that lonely people say to have some hope. Realistically, I am never looking for a boyfriend, so shouldn't I have found many by now, according to that logic. I saw these two guys walking in the mall today, kinda close.. but I didn't think anything of it, and then they got in the line right behind me at the checkout and one started kissing the other ones neck. Ugh that just kills me inside! People being so happy with what I don't have! Ehhh whatev, eventually I know I know.
I think you just gotta let life fall in place for you. You shouldn't expect to walk outside and to bump into the love of your life. Should you be assertive? Yes. If you're aggresive, you'll keep getting disappointed. If you're too passive, then you'll get nothing down with your love life. I think clubs are not the best place to be searching for Mr. Right. Just live life and let things happen. If you spot a guy at the grocery store or doctor's office, try to let him know that you're interested but don't be too desperate or too shy. Spark a convo with him or something. You never know when, where, or how you're going to be "the one". Good luck! :icon_wink
I don't really see the point in gay clubs. It's like women having their own (shrouded from view by tinted glass) workout space in my gym, it's kinda self-defeatist. It's like "we want equality" then as soon as they get it, they segregate themselves willingly? I just do it the old fashioned way, go to the mall looking for signals someone tries to send and flirt like there is no tomorrow. I believe i'll meet someone by chance or by more "appropriate" means than a club thats only purpose is really sex hookups (like this forum for example, or mogenic etc). I don't think i'll ever go to a "gay bar" or "gay club" it's a silly idea really to have them.
Well when you think of it like that yeah. I am a very energetic person.. a group of people letting loose is my cup of tea, unfortunately there is a lot of negative that comes with it unfortunately. I love getting to shake my booty and have fun. To be honest I've never went with the idea of finding a boyfriend or anything.. just kinda like well it would be nice to be hit on once and a while. And I have.. which is nice. I feel secure with myself since I know that I'm not going to leave with anybody. I think the fact that a group of us can get together is a good thing. Always fun to be around people like you.
Well - I guess that's what I said. But I said it because I DO have a bf, and that's what happened to me. I wasn't out looking for a bf - I met him because we were in a similar situation and were looking for support from others - nothing more. But it is when you make your self available, and surround yourself with people similar to yourself, that you're likely going to meet someone that you enjoy spending time with.
It is hard to find gay men in the general public, as under 10% of men are gay. I suggest you meet some gay men at the local University pride type organizations' events. I'm 43 so that doesn't work for me, but it may for you. The university here has such events as Coffee House Thursdays and gay themed movie weekends at the university movie theater for gay and lesbian people to meet. It even has a Pride library on campus. I agree that the gay bar scene is tough, but it's sadly where it's easiest to find the highest amount of gay men in one location. Until we have are own gay theaters, grocery stores, etc... I hope you find a good man.
Well that's all very well and good but I like being able to check out guys and maybe even dirty dance or make out with them when I go clubbing and despite the fact that I live in a very progressive liberal city, I am pretty sure I'd be putting my life in danger if I did that at any old club, so you'll pardon me if I think that maybe having gay-specific places and services (for instance, health services) might be a little more complex than "it's bad because then we are segregating ourselves." Of course in an ideal world there would be no need for groups of people to have designated safe zones and group-friendly services and service providers but guess what, folks? We don't live in an ideal world, and I don't think that while we're working on making the world a better place we should have to live in fear because some homophobic asshole might take offence to having a gay hockey player on his team or some asshole misogynist might sexually harrass a woman during her gym workout. I highly doubt anyone here feels 100% comfortable being open about their sexuality in 100% of the situations they find themselves in or with 100% of the people they interact with. So no one here should be dissing people or places that want to provide services and destinations that are aimed at a particular audience. The only problem from where I'm standing is when people spend all of their time in some kind of "only gay" bubble and really, very very few of the gay people I've met ever do that.
^ That's why I like the idea of a gay club. Not because I want to 'pick up', but because I can feel comfortable checking out the guys, or having other guys check me out, or maybe dancing with my bf... without feeling uncomfortable or fearful of someone's reaction.
Yeah I totally understand, didn't mean to attack you or single you out, its just that whole thing sounds great and all its just something you don't want to hear when it's not happening to you. Thanks, that's nice of you hopefully I can soon.
I totally understand how you feel. I love to dance and stay on the dance floor so I never meet anyone and the few I have met have had MAJOR issues. If I find a woman in public that sparks my interest she winds up being straight and i'm totally against the turning out thing. ugghh I chose to be gay! riiiiiiiiiiiiight Clubs are definitely not the relationship place thing though.
