What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

theWorldisYours · 13th Jul 2011, 06:55 PM

So as a guy who has finally come to terms with his sexuality, I'm very certain that sexuality is not a choice, but seeing as so many crazies are out there arguing that it is, is there anyone who would say they chose their sexuality. As crazy as this question sounds I'm just curious.

**Owen** · 13th Jul 2011, 07:17 PM

Always be distrustful of members of a privileged group who claim to be experts on the lives of marginalized people. Because of the way cultural dominance/privilege works, we will always know more about the lives of straight people than they will ever know about our lives. All that is to say, don't trust the crazies.

Ghostly · 13th Jul 2011, 07:26 PM

hmm well, I can't say I was born with my sexuality, because I remember being straight until for some reason I liked guys and then only guys :s. It's not really something you choose, you just kinda realize it.

thedreamwatch · 13th Jul 2011, 07:34 PM

I seriously doubt you will find a person who's LGBT and chose to be. It's who we are. That doesn't mean we always know it, that doesn't mean we always like it, but it's who we are. If we could choose it, then, theoretically we could change it. And if we could choose it, then when did straight or cisgendered people decide they would be straight or cisgendered? It's not something you just wake up and decide to try one day.

But not like I need to tell you guys that

fallendream · 13th Jul 2011, 07:37 PM

If it was a choice, it's definitely a big cock-up on my part. I wouldn't choose to recieve hate, and I don't think I've ever seen the straight "group" recieve any hate as a group. Whilst the homosexual (or rather LGBT) "group" has recieved more than enough.

**Mogget** · 13th Jul 2011, 07:40 PM

There're more options than "I chose to be gay" and "I was born this way." I was born with a semi-fluid sexuality that later firmed up. Had events in my life been different, I might well have ended up straighter than I am. Not by choice, but just because the environment affected my sexuality.

Bosco · 13th Jul 2011, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liam

There're more options than "I chose to be gay" and "I was born this way." I was born with a semi-fluid sexuality that later firmed up. Had events in my life been different, I might well have ended up straighter than I am. Not by choice, but just because the environment affected my sexuality.

Agreed 100%. Neither fully nature or nurture, but rather a melding of both.

Bowie · 13th Jul 2011, 08:07 PM

I really don't think I'm in a position to say how people define their sexualities. That's up to biologists, psychologists and sociologists to explain, in my opinion. However, my personal experience tells me that, even if sexuality depends on non-genetic factors, it's definitely not a choice. I've spent years trying to change the fact that I'm gay, and failed.

trannydude · 13th Jul 2011, 08:19 PM

im rpoude of who i am. but if a year ago you told me i could choose between being straight and being anything GLBYQIA, i would have chosen straight. not because im ashaimed, but even today, my mothers in denial and my grandmother is refusing to even speak to me. if your environment made you gay ot straight, i think my would force me into straightness just for emotional survival.

but im still straight as a rainbow!

Revan · 13th Jul 2011, 08:27 PM

Errr who the heck actually chose "Yes I chose my sexuality"?

Zontar · 13th Jul 2011, 09:10 PM

I posted a link to a site of someone claiming to have chosen to be gay in a thread that was pretty much the same as this one. Nevertheless, the number of people who claim to have chosen to be gay are vastly outnumbered by those who claim that they had no say in the matter.

Personally, I believe exposure to certain types of pornography rendered me attracted to the same-sex, and now I'm left with the emotional debate as to whether or not I fucked up royally or ended up as something beautiful. Whatever it is, I know I don't have as much control over my sexuality as I (probably) had before.

Raeil · 13th Jul 2011, 09:11 PM

Based on my own experience, I never chose my orientation. While sexual orientation has been shown to be somewhat fluid and somewhat affected by environment, I'm of the idea that it's more nature than nurture. Of course, if a study or two were to prove me wrong, I'd be happy to switch my perspective, but the amount of evidence for orientation being primarily nature is somewhat strong.

IThinkInCircles · 13th Jul 2011, 10:08 PM

I would like to know when all the straight people in the world consciously sat down and said to themselves, "All right dude... we're gonna be straight. Let's do this."

When I voted, I chose "I was born this way," but honestly, after reading some posts that came before mine, I think it's a little more complicated. Some people internally know super early in the game that they're gay. But for others, it's not as clear right away. Sometimes learning what something is comes in the form of learning what it isn't. As a kid, I really didn't know what " straight" meant until I learned what "gay" meant. The whole thing does require a little education/awareness on the subject, and given the fluidity of sexuality, I think the environment that one grows up in can certainly contribute to how one interprets their sexual orientation. Being a late bloomer myself, that was my experience.

But in terms of "choosing"... no one in their right mind would purposely step into the line of fire that is anti-gay bullying and heterocentric politics. For centuries, people have died because someone didn't like who they were. Gays/lesbians, Jews, blacks, "witches" (thanks, Salem)... this planet really just hasn't figured out how to let the hate go and mind their own bloody business (no pun intended).

Saikou7 · 13th Jul 2011, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revan

Errr who the heck actually chose "Yes I chose my sexuality"?

I was wondering the same thing.

Just Passing · 13th Jul 2011, 10:27 PM

It's a little bit of both, but more it's not a choice than anything else. I didn't have gay feelings until I was twelve and I acted upon them almost instantly, but never did so again. Then there was several years of confusion and denial afterwards, but eventually being gay was the most realistic option for me, where as being straight just would've been too much.

So I initially chose to act upon homosexual acts when I was curious, tried it, liked it, regretted it then realised that I was pretty gay. The initial steps were acting upon it, but it had subconsciously been there all my life.

acd92 · 13th Jul 2011, 10:31 PM

I really like the idea of the melding of nature and nurture- I believe that we are both a product of our environment, but there are also these natural tendencies we are born with, and usually, these tendencies outshine our environment, once we are given a chance to realize them. In no way do I think sexuality is a choice. It is absolutely and fundamentally a part of us.

nerdyboy87 · 13th Jul 2011, 10:35 PM

I tried very hard for years to be straight, but it just didn't work. It's not a choice.

djt820 · 13th Jul 2011, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revan

Errr who the heck actually chose "Yes I chose my sexuality"?

Someone with an opinion.

Markio · 13th Jul 2011, 11:29 PM

I think the answer depends on one's definition of sexuality. I think people can choose how they express their sexuality, like in terms of dating, hook-ups, and sexual activity. But I think there are so many components that go into someone's personal sense of sexuality that "choosing" doesn't really capture the scope of it.

Kidd · 13th Jul 2011, 11:41 PM

Orientation is not a choice but behavior is. I don't know who the people are that think they've chosen this, but I'd really like to hear their reasoning behind it.

View Poll Results: Is sexuality a choice?
No, I was born this way	89	97.80%
Yes, I chose my sexuality	2	2.20%
Voters: 91. You may not vote on this poll

13th Jul 2011, 06:55 PM	#1
theWorldisYours Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: New York Age: 20 Posts: 119 Join Date: May 2011	What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. So as a guy who has finally come to terms with his sexuality, I'm very certain that sexuality is not a choice, but seeing as so many crazies are out there arguing that it is, is there anyone who would say they chose their sexuality. As crazy as this question sounds I'm just curious.

13th Jul 2011, 07:17 PM	#2
Owen Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult EC Admin Gender: Agendered dude Orientation: Panromantic androsexual Out Status: Everyone and their mother Location: Massachusetts, USA Age: 21 Posts: 2,872 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. Always be distrustful of members of a privileged group who claim to be experts on the lives of marginalized people. Because of the way cultural dominance/privilege works, we will always know more about the lives of straight people than they will ever know about our lives. All that is to say, don't trust the crazies. __________________ "Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza." -Daria Morgendorffer

13th Jul 2011, 07:26 PM	#3
Ghostly привет Full Member Gender: Un Garçon Orientation: I'm committed to this one guy Out Status: people that care for me Location: Canada Age: 17 Posts: 1,305 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. hmm well, I can't say I was born with my sexuality, because I remember being straight until for some reason I liked guys and then only guys :s. It's not really something you choose, you just kinda realize it.

13th Jul 2011, 07:34 PM	#4
thedreamwatch Maximum Ridiculosity Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Kinsey 5. So, pretty gay. Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Wisconsin Age: 22 Posts: 1,274 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. I seriously doubt you will find a person who's LGBT and chose to be. It's who we are. That doesn't mean we always know it, that doesn't mean we always like it, but it's who we are. If we could choose it, then, theoretically we could change it. And if we could choose it, then when did straight or cisgendered people decide they would be straight or cisgendered? It's not something you just wake up and decide to try one day. But not like I need to tell you guys that __________________ "I came out laughing, I came out screaming, I came out dancing..." - T&S

13th Jul 2011, 07:37 PM	#5
fallendream EC Addict Full Member Gender: manlyman, hwar! Orientation: i have a floppy wrist? Out Status: i left aslan... Age: 17 Posts: 945 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. If it was a choice, it's definitely a big cock-up on my part. I wouldn't choose to recieve hate, and I don't think I've ever seen the straight "group" recieve any hate as a group. Whilst the homosexual (or rather LGBT) "group" has recieved more than enough. __________________ [seanathon] 1:09 am: You think I'm not naked? [seanathon] 1:09 am: I've got an ice pack tied to my head using socks.

13th Jul 2011, 07:40 PM	#6
Mogget Mad and dead as nails EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 5 or 6. It varies Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Alaska Age: 22 Posts: 2,024 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. There're more options than "I chose to be gay" and "I was born this way." I was born with a semi-fluid sexuality that later firmed up. Had events in my life been different, I might well have ended up straighter than I am. Not by choice, but just because the environment affected my sexuality. __________________ "As to what I am, I once was many things but now I am only several." - Mogget in Sabriel by Garth Nix "The world is quiet here." - VFD

13th Jul 2011, 08:07 PM	#8
Bowie Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Brazil Age: 19 Posts: 191 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. I really don't think I'm in a position to say how people define their sexualities. That's up to biologists, psychologists and sociologists to explain, in my opinion. However, my personal experience tells me that, even if sexuality depends on non-genetic factors, it's definitely not a choice. I've spent years trying to change the fact that I'm gay, and failed.

13th Jul 2011, 08:19 PM	#9
trannydude Homophobia is a Social Disease Regular Member Gender: Transgender - FtM Orientation: homoflexible Out Status: telling anybody Location: monroe wisconsin Posts: 104 Join Date: May 2011	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. im rpoude of who i am. but if a year ago you told me i could choose between being straight and being anything GLBYQIA, i would have chosen straight. not because im ashaimed, but even today, my mothers in denial and my grandmother is refusing to even speak to me. if your environment made you gay ot straight, i think my would force me into straightness just for emotional survival. but im still straight as a rainbow!

13th Jul 2011, 08:27 PM	#10
Revan EC Addict Full Member Gender: M for MEEP! Orientation: Mutant and Proud Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windsor, Ontario Age: 24 Posts: 6,564 Join Date: Jun 2005	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. Errr who the heck actually chose "Yes I chose my sexuality"? __________________ "Is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly. Strength is not defined by physical capacity, but by indomitable will. ~ Mahatma Gandhi Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you just wind up screwing yourself.

13th Jul 2011, 09:10 PM	#11
Zontar Mister Funny Man Full Member Gender: Male Location: Binghampton, NY Posts: 1,537 Join Date: Oct 2010	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. I posted a link to a site of someone claiming to have chosen to be gay in a thread that was pretty much the same as this one. Nevertheless, the number of people who claim to have chosen to be gay are vastly outnumbered by those who claim that they had no say in the matter. Personally, I believe exposure to certain types of pornography rendered me attracted to the same-sex, and now I'm left with the emotional debate as to whether or not I fucked up royally or ended up as something beautiful. Whatever it is, I know I don't have as much control over my sexuality as I (probably) had before. __________________ Get up and open your eyes...Don't ever let yourself ever fall down... Get through it and learn how to fly...I know you'll find a way...today. -Days of the New, "Dirty Road" Last edited by Zontar; 13th Jul 2011 at 09:13 PM..

13th Jul 2011, 09:11 PM	#12
Raeil EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Missouri Age: 20 Posts: 421 Join Date: May 2011	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. Based on my own experience, I never chose my orientation. While sexual orientation has been shown to be somewhat fluid and somewhat affected by environment, I'm of the idea that it's more nature than nurture. Of course, if a study or two were to prove me wrong, I'd be happy to switch my perspective, but the amount of evidence for orientation being primarily nature is somewhat strong. __________________ ~Say my name, as every color illuminates! We are shining, and we will never be afraid again!~

13th Jul 2011, 10:08 PM	#13
IThinkInCircles wait for it Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: bimosexual Out Status: Mom/dad/closest friends... not enough Location: west of Chicago Age: 24 Posts: 77 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. I would like to know when all the straight people in the world consciously sat down and said to themselves, "All right dude... we're gonna be straight. Let's do this." When I voted, I chose "I was born this way," but honestly, after reading some posts that came before mine, I think it's a little more complicated. Some people internally know super early in the game that they're gay. But for others, it's not as clear right away. Sometimes learning what something is comes in the form of learning what it isn't. As a kid, I really didn't know what " straight" meant until I learned what "gay" meant. The whole thing does require a little education/awareness on the subject, and given the fluidity of sexuality, I think the environment that one grows up in can certainly contribute to how one interprets their sexual orientation. Being a late bloomer myself, that was my experience. But in terms of "choosing"... no one in their right mind would purposely step into the line of fire that is anti-gay bullying and heterocentric politics. For centuries, people have died because someone didn't like who they were. Gays/lesbians, Jews, blacks, "witches" (thanks, Salem)... this planet really just hasn't figured out how to let the hate go and mind their own bloody business (no pun intended).

13th Jul 2011, 10:27 PM	#15
Just Passing EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Almost there Location: West Midlands Age: 20 Posts: 513 Join Date: May 2011	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. It's a little bit of both, but more it's not a choice than anything else. I didn't have gay feelings until I was twelve and I acted upon them almost instantly, but never did so again. Then there was several years of confusion and denial afterwards, but eventually being gay was the most realistic option for me, where as being straight just would've been too much. So I initially chose to act upon homosexual acts when I was curious, tried it, liked it, regretted it then realised that I was pretty gay. The initial steps were acting upon it, but it had subconsciously been there all my life. __________________ Meh.

13th Jul 2011, 10:31 PM	#16
acd92 Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to anyone...as long as they ask! Location: Maryland Age: 20 Posts: 96 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. I really like the idea of the melding of nature and nurture- I believe that we are both a product of our environment, but there are also these natural tendencies we are born with, and usually, these tendencies outshine our environment, once we are given a chance to realize them. In no way do I think sexuality is a choice. It is absolutely and fundamentally a part of us. __________________ "All great novels, all true novels, are bisexual."

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13th Jul 2011, 10:35 PM	#17
nerdyboy87 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Posts: 50 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. I tried very hard for years to be straight, but it just didn't work. It's not a choice.

13th Jul 2011, 11:29 PM	#19
Markio EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Family, friends, and staff! Location: California Age: 21 Posts: 1,140 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. I think the answer depends on one's definition of sexuality. I think people can choose how they express their sexuality, like in terms of dating, hook-ups, and sexual activity. But I think there are so many components that go into someone's personal sense of sexuality that "choosing" doesn't really capture the scope of it. __________________ Celebrate diversity!

13th Jul 2011, 11:41 PM	#20
Kidd You'll love me! Full Member Gender: ♂ Orientation: ♂ ♥ ♂ Out Status: Out Location: N.W. Ohio Age: 21 Posts: 1,430 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: What do you think about homosexuality being a choice. Orientation is not a choice but behavior is. I don't know who the people are that think they've chosen this, but I'd really like to hear their reasoning behind it. __________________ I feel a hunger. Take my picture by the pool, because I'm the next big thing. Fingers crossed, my time is coming now...