Had a frustrating evening last night. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

thevedman · 15th Jul 2011, 12:27 AM

Incoming rant!

I went to dinner at a neighbour's place last night, and it was me and basically a few other people from the local area (I live in the middle of nowhere at the moment so there aren't many people here). Anyways my neighbour's son started saying some fairly homophobic stuff and then directly said some negative stuff about gay people. By this point I was getting pretty annoyed, so I just looked him in the eye and said that there was nothing wrong with being gay, and in fact a lot of people find it really hard and that I thought it was really depressing that he was able to say the things he did. Thankfully that sort of shut him up about it, but the other thing that annoyed me was the women started saying 'oh I like the gays', which I know they were trying to be nice about it but it's this whole thing that annoys me that we're ALL the same in straight people's eyes!

Sorry this is just a bit of a rant, but I just find it frustrating that sometimes straight people have these really simplistic views, that people can say I like 'the gays', like all of us because we're all the same? When in fact we're all a bunch of very different people with different interests/opinions/tastes etc. Meh I'm not sure I'm explaining myself very well... I guess I just find that straight people where I live are a bit backwards in that sense, most of them probably haven't ever, knowingly, met a gay person but still have all these views...

Ugh. End rant. Sorry I just needed to vent. Hope it makes some sense!

**Eleanor Rigby** · 15th Jul 2011, 02:28 AM

Quote:

most of them probably haven't ever, knowingly, met a gay person but still have all these views...

Most part of the time, that's precisly because they never met a single gay person, that they have these views...
I'm still sorry that you had this bad experience, but congratulations for standing up for yourself. And fortunatly, not all straight people are the same either (just saying...).

Take care, Cécile

thevedman · 15th Jul 2011, 06:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eleanor Rigby

And fortunatly, not all straight people are the same either (just saying...).

Yeah sorry I didn't mean that, all of my straight friends are great! I just really mean the people near where I live.

thevedman · 15th Jul 2011, 07:35 AM

Ach sorry I think I came across as a bit of idiot in that first post, didn't mean to offend any straight people here... I just find where I live a little frustrating. Hope no one was offended, sorry again...

s5m1 · 15th Jul 2011, 07:49 AM

I am sorry you had this experience. I think your observation is correct about them not realizing they have met gay people. That is one of the reasons I think coming out is so important. The more people that know us, the more they realize we are no different from straight people.

BenIsScared · 15th Jul 2011, 08:08 AM

Wow, I'm sorry you have to put up with that too. I've sat through many dinners like the one you were at, but I never had the courage to stand up for myself like you did. Congratulations!

slowly · 25th Jul 2011, 11:07 AM

People don't know how to deal with what they don't know. Most times comments like that are the result of ignorance, fear or self preservation. I remember one time I was having dinner with a straight couple and Hugh Jackman's gay kiss in "The Boy from Oz" came up. The straight guy said "I didn't know Hugh Jackman was bisexual". I said, "Well, he isn't". The straight guy kept insisting that no straight man could ever kiss another man even if he was acting. SO ignorant.

15th Jul 2011, 12:27 AM	#1
thevedman Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Guys Out Status: More people these days :-) Location: UK Posts: 131 Join Date: Jul 2011	Had a frustrating evening last night. Incoming rant! I went to dinner at a neighbour's place last night, and it was me and basically a few other people from the local area (I live in the middle of nowhere at the moment so there aren't many people here). Anyways my neighbour's son started saying some fairly homophobic stuff and then directly said some negative stuff about gay people. By this point I was getting pretty annoyed, so I just looked him in the eye and said that there was nothing wrong with being gay, and in fact a lot of people find it really hard and that I thought it was really depressing that he was able to say the things he did. Thankfully that sort of shut him up about it, but the other thing that annoyed me was the women started saying 'oh I like the gays', which I know they were trying to be nice about it but it's this whole thing that annoys me that we're ALL the same in straight people's eyes! Sorry this is just a bit of a rant, but I just find it frustrating that sometimes straight people have these really simplistic views, that people can say I like 'the gays', like all of us because we're all the same? When in fact we're all a bunch of very different people with different interests/opinions/tastes etc. Meh I'm not sure I'm explaining myself very well... I guess I just find that straight people where I live are a bit backwards in that sense, most of them probably haven't ever, knowingly, met a gay person but still have all these views... Ugh. End rant. Sorry I just needed to vent. Hope it makes some sense!

15th Jul 2011, 07:35 AM	#4
thevedman Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Guys Out Status: More people these days :-) Location: UK Posts: 131 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Had a frustrating evening last night. Ach sorry I think I came across as a bit of idiot in that first post, didn't mean to offend any straight people here... I just find where I live a little frustrating. Hope no one was offended, sorry again...

15th Jul 2011, 07:49 AM	#5
s5m1 Gay and Couldn't be Happier! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Maryland Age: 46 Posts: 861 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Had a frustrating evening last night. I am sorry you had this experience. I think your observation is correct about them not realizing they have met gay people. That is one of the reasons I think coming out is so important. The more people that know us, the more they realize we are no different from straight people.

15th Jul 2011, 08:08 AM	#6
BenIsScared Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Not totally sure....But about 90% sure I'm gay. Out Status: 5 really close friends, and one douchebag Location: Southern USA Posts: 74 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Had a frustrating evening last night. Wow, I'm sorry you have to put up with that too. I've sat through many dinners like the one you were at, but I never had the courage to stand up for myself like you did. Congratulations!

25th Jul 2011, 11:07 AM	#7
slowly Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: closeted Posts: 41 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Had a frustrating evening last night. People don't know how to deal with what they don't know. Most times comments like that are the result of ignorance, fear or self preservation. I remember one time I was having dinner with a straight couple and Hugh Jackman's gay kiss in "The Boy from Oz" came up. The straight guy said "I didn't know Hugh Jackman was bisexual". I said, "Well, he isn't". The straight guy kept insisting that no straight man could ever kiss another man even if he was acting. SO ignorant.

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