Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

LovexGinger · 21st Jul 2011, 04:45 PM

The title says I all folks. So boys, why do you talk in that voice? Just always been curious about this and I don't mean to offend anyone.

Thanks!

Ian

Bowie · 21st Jul 2011, 04:50 PM

That is indeed an interesting question, but it doesn't apply to all gay men. I know people who have been out of the closet for a long time and don't speak any differently than your regular straight men.

alan t · 21st Jul 2011, 05:16 PM

Because that's my natural voice.....? I've never seen anyone faking a voice to sound more gay or something/

Or maybe I'm not sure exactly which type of "funny voice" you're referring to

21st Jul 2011, 05:20 PM

I can't answer that one, but I can tell you that I don't use 'the voice' when I talk to people. Thats one of the things that stops some people coming out in my opinion, admittedly it was one of the things that bothered me when I was more ignorant and before I came out. Gotta love the fear of being stereotyped. Some people are naturally like that though.

**Mogget** · 21st Jul 2011, 05:28 PM

A lot of it is because gay males exist in a subculture, and a feature of subcultures is that they adopt distinct mannerisms and vocal patterns. People who exist in the gay male subculture will tend over time to adopt the traits of other men in that culture. A lot of this will dissipate considerably as gays are integrated more fully into society.

Bowie · 21st Jul 2011, 05:35 PM

Wait, you think that's deliberate? I've always thought it were natural and intrinsic, but I don't really do it myself, so I don't know.

LovexGinger · 21st Jul 2011, 05:39 PM

Well I don't know. Its not that I hate them for it. I just wondered why they use a gay voice. There's a kid in my school who talks in a gay stereotypical voice all the time, except on stage in plays. There he talks in a normal voice.

I know no all gays talk that way. But those who do...why?

crazyhead · 21st Jul 2011, 08:49 PM

I don't. I'm a firm believer that the majority of us don't either. The one's who do are just the ones you notice. My guess is the one's who do are naturally like that. I haven't met anyone who does it on purpose. Sure they could imitate a normal voice in the same way that you or I could imitate a gay voice. In fact, there's not really any reason this high voice should be specifically attributed to gay people. I know straight people who talk like that. This is so arbitrary. It's a voice. Certain types of voices aren't handed out to certain types of people so we can tell them apart.

**Meropspusillus** · 21st Jul 2011, 09:26 PM

Some people just have very high and feminine voices. It's definitely not deliberate for many.

Just Passing · 21st Jul 2011, 10:17 PM

I'm not a fan of the high pitched stereotypical gay guy either (I felt threatened to admit I was gay, because I thought I would be unfairly compared to what some people expected), but there are several, if not a lot of gay guys who behave that way and it isn't to annoy people, it is usually their personality.

I don't talk like it though, my voice is pretty deep.

roborama · 22nd Jul 2011, 08:50 AM

i dont exactly think its just their natural voice, come on do you ever hear a straight guy talk like that. i sort of agree with Liam, its something thats aquired from being around other gay men who talk similarly. i know personally that i spent a little too much time in boston last year and i talked with a mild boston accent for a while (pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd). thats the only explaination i can think of, it really doesnt bother me though

LemonCake · 22nd Jul 2011, 09:25 AM

I have wondered this myself. Most of the gay men I've met talk like that, but I have also met men who insisted they were straight and talked like that as well. No one believed them to be straight, even when they insisted they loved women.

There is a study out there though on this. The findings are on the internet. I remember it saying that people can tell if a man is gay by listening to his voice, but that in some cases the "straightest" voice came from a gay man and a gay voice came from a straight guy. Also it says something about how people cannot tell a lesbian from a straight women by listening to her voice. It was really interesting actually. Maybe try to google it?

Robert · 22nd Jul 2011, 11:27 AM

You're asking the wrong question.

What IF a straight guy talked even a little bit like that? What would happen?

His friends would laugh at him and call him "gay" until he stopped (which he would do almost instantly).

We have people on this forum, who, once they came out, have started acting like they actually WANT to act. They have changed the way they sit, talk, walk etc not because they are gay but because that is who they are. Before they came out they suppressed their true self.

The fact is, out gay men are more likely to be more comfortable with their sexuality than straight men. Thats why some gay guys act 'feminine' while straights generally dont. Gender roles are not set by 'nature' they are set by peoples perceptions of what male and female means.

**TheEdend** · 22nd Jul 2011, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corporal Sparks

You're asking the wrong question.

What IF a straight guy talked even a little bit like that? What would happen?

His friends would laugh at him and call him "gay" until he stopped (which he would do almost instantly).

We have people on this forum, who, once they came out, have started acting like they actually WANT to act. They have changed the way they sit, talk, walk etc not because they are gay but because that is who they are. Before they came out they suppressed their true self.

The fact is, out gay men are more likely to be more comfortable with their sexuality than straight men. Thats why some gay guys act 'feminine' while straights generally dont. Gender roles are not set by 'nature' they are set by peoples perceptions of what male and female means.

You totally beat me to it. Nicely put

Foxywolf · 22nd Jul 2011, 11:45 AM

Quote:

You're asking the wrong question.

What IF a straight guy talked even a little bit like that? What would happen?

His friends would laugh at him and call him "gay" until he stopped (which he would do almost instantly).

We have people on this forum, who, once they came out, have started acting like they actually WANT to act. They have changed the way they sit, talk, walk etc not because they are gay but because that is who they are. Before they came out they suppressed their true self.

The fact is, out gay men are more likely to be more comfortable with their sexuality than straight men. Thats why some gay guys act 'feminine' while straights generally dont. Gender roles are not set by 'nature' they are set by peoples perceptions of what male and female means.

Well said.

AllSmiles · 22nd Jul 2011, 12:34 PM

Well, none of my gay friends, and I certain don't either, speak what that quirky gay voice. I do know some gay guys who do, however I don't think they do it on purpose - it's just their natural voice

FJ Cruiser · 22nd Jul 2011, 12:54 PM

I'm the only gay guy I know of that doesn't talk in the very stereotypical voice. Perhaps it's just because of my lack of exposure to a wider variety of gay guys, but it seems to me like a defense mechanism. It's like they're embracing the stereotypes before the stereotypes get thrown at them, if that makes sense.

Noahroxursox · 27th Jul 2011, 10:55 AM

Well, one of my best friends is straight, and he has a higher pitched voice than most guys, but does that make him gay? I didn't think so. I'm gay though, and i have a relatively deep voice for guys my age, so people don't generally associate me with being gay

**Meropspusillus** · 27th Jul 2011, 11:07 AM

Ira Glass and another reporter from NPR whose name I can't remember both talk in very high "gay voices". Considering Ira is a rather famous radio producer, I don't think it's a voice he "puts on". I felt like I should add that

**Lexington** · 27th Jul 2011, 11:22 AM

I have a fairly "straight" voice - deep, measured, masculine. But I do have some "gay" mannerisms that slip in every once in awhile. Sometimes my voice takes on a bit of a "lilt". Sometimes it starts getting a bit more rushed and high-pitched. And sometimes when I laugh, the laugh ramps up into giggle territory. And nearly every time one of these things happens...

...I try to stop it.

Why? It's not because I don't want people to know I'm gay. I'm out. Everybody knows. When I filmed my "It Gets Better" video, I watched one of my scenes, and decided to refilm it...because I thought my voice sounded too gay. Think about how fucking stupid that is.

The reason I suppress this is because at some point in my life, I decided that these things were undesirable. That having a high-pitched, feminine voice wasn't as good as having a deep masculine voice. That even though it was OK to be gay, it wasn't OK to APPEAR gay. I'm assuming there were external as well as internal forces at play here - I probably saw how somebody with a high-pitched voice was treated, and decided to play it down. But the fact remains that, to this day, without meaning to, I keep my voice as straight as possible. Were I more relaxed about these things, I'm betting I'd sound a lot gayer.

...but I'm supposed to believe that it's the GAY-sounding ones that are "faking it"?

Lex

21st Jul 2011, 04:45 PM	#1
LovexGinger Helplessly Enthusiastic Regular Member Gender: Male-subject to change Orientation: Men men men and manly men. :) Out Status: All the girls. Telling my parents teusday. :D Location: Pittsburgh Pennsylvania Age: 18 Posts: 48 Join Date: Jul 2011	Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? The title says I all folks. So boys, why do you talk in that voice? Just always been curious about this and I don't mean to offend anyone. Thanks! Ian __________________ They laughed because I am different. I laughed because they're all the same.

21st Jul 2011, 04:50 PM	#2
Bowie Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Brazil Age: 19 Posts: 191 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? That is indeed an interesting question, but it doesn't apply to all gay men. I know people who have been out of the closet for a long time and don't speak any differently than your regular straight men.

21st Jul 2011, 05:16 PM	#3
alan t EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: ontario, canada Age: 27 Posts: 340 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? Because that's my natural voice.....? I've never seen anyone faking a voice to sound more gay or something/ Or maybe I'm not sure exactly which type of "funny voice" you're referring to

21st Jul 2011, 05:20 PM	#4
Giorria Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? I can't answer that one, but I can tell you that I don't use 'the voice' when I talk to people. Thats one of the things that stops some people coming out in my opinion, admittedly it was one of the things that bothered me when I was more ignorant and before I came out. Gotta love the fear of being stereotyped. Some people are naturally like that though.

21st Jul 2011, 05:28 PM	#5
Mogget Mad and dead as nails EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 5 or 6. It varies Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Alaska Age: 22 Posts: 2,024 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? A lot of it is because gay males exist in a subculture, and a feature of subcultures is that they adopt distinct mannerisms and vocal patterns. People who exist in the gay male subculture will tend over time to adopt the traits of other men in that culture. A lot of this will dissipate considerably as gays are integrated more fully into society. __________________ "As to what I am, I once was many things but now I am only several." - Mogget in Sabriel by Garth Nix "The world is quiet here." - VFD

21st Jul 2011, 05:35 PM	#6
Bowie Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Brazil Age: 19 Posts: 191 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? Wait, you think that's deliberate? I've always thought it were natural and intrinsic, but I don't really do it myself, so I don't know.

21st Jul 2011, 05:39 PM	#7
LovexGinger Helplessly Enthusiastic Regular Member Gender: Male-subject to change Orientation: Men men men and manly men. :) Out Status: All the girls. Telling my parents teusday. :D Location: Pittsburgh Pennsylvania Age: 18 Posts: 48 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? Well I don't know. Its not that I hate them for it. I just wondered why they use a gay voice. There's a kid in my school who talks in a gay stereotypical voice all the time, except on stage in plays. There he talks in a normal voice. I know no all gays talk that way. But those who do...why? __________________ They laughed because I am different. I laughed because they're all the same.

21st Jul 2011, 08:49 PM	#8
crazyhead flying away Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Texas Age: 22 Posts: 247 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? I don't. I'm a firm believer that the majority of us don't either. The one's who do are just the ones you notice. My guess is the one's who do are naturally like that. I haven't met anyone who does it on purpose. Sure they could imitate a normal voice in the same way that you or I could imitate a gay voice. In fact, there's not really any reason this high voice should be specifically attributed to gay people. I know straight people who talk like that. This is so arbitrary. It's a voice. Certain types of voices aren't handed out to certain types of people so we can tell them apart. __________________ "Dyin' is the day worth livin' for" Last edited by crazyhead; 21st Jul 2011 at 08:56 PM..

21st Jul 2011, 09:26 PM	#9
Meropspusillus RAWR DINOSAURS EC Chat Mod Gender: I make the small motile sex cells. Orientation: I like people who make small motile sex cells. Out Status: CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP Location: Indiana or New Mexico. Who knows? Age: 22 Posts: 895 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? Some people just have very high and feminine voices. It's definitely not deliberate for many. __________________ (Insert witty signature here)

21st Jul 2011, 10:17 PM	#10
Just Passing EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Almost there Location: West Midlands Age: 20 Posts: 513 Join Date: May 2011	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? I'm not a fan of the high pitched stereotypical gay guy either (I felt threatened to admit I was gay, because I thought I would be unfairly compared to what some people expected), but there are several, if not a lot of gay guys who behave that way and it isn't to annoy people, it is usually their personality. I don't talk like it though, my voice is pretty deep. __________________ Meh.

22nd Jul 2011, 08:50 AM	#11
roborama EC's Teenage Grandma Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Fluid Out Status: Out to everyone Location: MA Age: 17 Posts: 397 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? i dont exactly think its just their natural voice, come on do you ever hear a straight guy talk like that. i sort of agree with Liam, its something thats aquired from being around other gay men who talk similarly. i know personally that i spent a little too much time in boston last year and i talked with a mild boston accent for a while (pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd). thats the only explaination i can think of, it really doesnt bother me though __________________ Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. Harvey Fierstein

22nd Jul 2011, 09:25 AM	#12
LemonCake Member Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Not out at all Location: South Eastern USA Age: 27 Posts: 60 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? I have wondered this myself. Most of the gay men I've met talk like that, but I have also met men who insisted they were straight and talked like that as well. No one believed them to be straight, even when they insisted they loved women. There is a study out there though on this. The findings are on the internet. I remember it saying that people can tell if a man is gay by listening to his voice, but that in some cases the "straightest" voice came from a gay man and a gay voice came from a straight guy. Also it says something about how people cannot tell a lesbian from a straight women by listening to her voice. It was really interesting actually. Maybe try to google it?

22nd Jul 2011, 11:27 AM	#13
Robert EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male ♂ Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: World Posts: 971 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? You're asking the wrong question. What IF a straight guy talked even a little bit like that? What would happen? His friends would laugh at him and call him "gay" until he stopped (which he would do almost instantly). We have people on this forum, who, once they came out, have started acting like they actually WANT to act. They have changed the way they sit, talk, walk etc not because they are gay but because that is who they are. Before they came out they suppressed their true self. The fact is, out gay men are more likely to be more comfortable with their sexuality than straight men. Thats why some gay guys act 'feminine' while straights generally dont. Gender roles are not set by 'nature' they are set by peoples perceptions of what male and female means. __________________ "I am like a mirror that dares not be what nature made it, but feels obligated, always, to reflect what surrounds it." - Frederick II of Prussia. "England is a Prison" - Gerrard Winstanley

22nd Jul 2011, 12:34 PM	#16
AllSmiles /J Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Most people Location: Aalborg, Denmark Age: 18 Posts: 490 Join Date: Sep 2009	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? Well, none of my gay friends, and I certain don't either, speak what that quirky gay voice. I do know some gay guys who do, however I don't think they do it on purpose - it's just their natural voice __________________ "You're a good tripod" - Ander Blue "No one's ever said that to me!" - Me We both start laughing

22nd Jul 2011, 12:54 PM	#17
FJ Cruiser EC Addict Full Member Gender: Guy Orientation: Guys Out Status: immediate family, a few friends Location: Deep in the Heart Age: 19 Posts: 520 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? I'm the only gay guy I know of that doesn't talk in the very stereotypical voice. Perhaps it's just because of my lack of exposure to a wider variety of gay guys, but it seems to me like a defense mechanism. It's like they're embracing the stereotypes before the stereotypes get thrown at them, if that makes sense.

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27th Jul 2011, 10:55 AM	#18
Noahroxursox EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I can haz teh guys? Out Status: All but my extended family and the odd walrus Location: Maryland Age: 15 Posts: 338 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? Well, one of my best friends is straight, and he has a higher pitched voice than most guys, but does that make him gay? I didn't think so. I'm gay though, and i have a relatively deep voice for guys my age, so people don't generally associate me with being gay __________________ RAINBOWS

27th Jul 2011, 11:07 AM	#19
Meropspusillus RAWR DINOSAURS EC Chat Mod Gender: I make the small motile sex cells. Orientation: I like people who make small motile sex cells. Out Status: CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP Location: Indiana or New Mexico. Who knows? Age: 22 Posts: 895 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? Ira Glass and another reporter from NPR whose name I can't remember both talk in very high "gay voices". Considering Ira is a rather famous radio producer, I don't think it's a voice he "puts on". I felt like I should add that __________________ (Insert witty signature here)

27th Jul 2011, 11:22 AM	#20
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,372 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Why do gay guys talk in that funny voice? I have a fairly "straight" voice - deep, measured, masculine. But I do have some "gay" mannerisms that slip in every once in awhile. Sometimes my voice takes on a bit of a "lilt". Sometimes it starts getting a bit more rushed and high-pitched. And sometimes when I laugh, the laugh ramps up into giggle territory. And nearly every time one of these things happens... ...I try to stop it. Why? It's not because I don't want people to know I'm gay. I'm out. Everybody knows. When I filmed my "It Gets Better" video, I watched one of my scenes, and decided to refilm it...because I thought my voice sounded too gay. Think about how fucking stupid that is. The reason I suppress this is because at some point in my life, I decided that these things were undesirable. That having a high-pitched, feminine voice wasn't as good as having a deep masculine voice. That even though it was OK to be gay, it wasn't OK to APPEAR gay. I'm assuming there were external as well as internal forces at play here - I probably saw how somebody with a high-pitched voice was treated, and decided to play it down. But the fact remains that, to this day, without meaning to, I keep my voice as straight as possible. Were I more relaxed about these things, I'm betting I'd sound a lot gayer. ...but I'm supposed to believe that it's the GAY-sounding ones that are "faking it"? Lex