Why so difficult?

[paper person]

Simple question. This is pretty vauge question but it seems like every reason people are here is due to the difficulty of either sexual or gener identity.
Thoughts and opinions please.
Why is it so difficult?

[Mogget]

We live in a heteronormative and cissexist society. So anyone who deviates from the norms of sexual orientation or gender identity is going to have problems.

[Robert]

I wonder how many people, who had any idea of how the majority of the world thinks about people breaking away from their given gender or sexual identity, were happy that they were not 100% straight or 100% their given gender when they first found out?

People live in denial because its easier than living in truth when the truth could see you ostracized or punished. And when you've lived a lie for so long, its hard to know what the truth is any more. You have to do a lot of thinking.

Furthermore, as has been said many times on this forum before, sexuality and gender identity are not fixed. They're fluid. And its not a simple gay or straight or man or woman. Society has given us fixed roles and some LGBT people will try to live up to these fixed roles for the rest of their lives until they die. More liberal societies give us choices but these choices never include all of the actual real options.

The world we live in fucks people up.

And how well do we know ourselves anyway? Hell, I dont even know what my favourite book is and there are some people on this forum having to answer much more profound questions than that.

[solarcat]

Personally, I feel like I have to conform to certain stereotypes, which are spread by the media (especially TV and movies). So not only is there the problem of "if you don't act like everyone else, you're too different," like people will look down at you for being gay, but there's the problem of people looking down at you if you don't act like "a gay."

So not only do people look down at you for deviating from the norm, they're going to look down at you even more if you deviate from the accepted deviations!

Which of course fills me with words best not expressed in civil discourse.

[Paul_UK]

Added to what people above have said, remember that people looking for and coming to a forum like this will probably be doing so because they have difficulties. People who are happy and comfortable with who they are are unlikely to be seeking out support websites. So the make-up of the membership does not accurately reflect the full range of the LGBT people in their normal proportions.

Of course there are quite a few members who have stuck around after resolving their issues to help others and continue being a part of the community here, but not everyone will do that nor would we expect them to.

[slowly]

Most of us are born out of a heterosexual love, relationship or at the very least sexual encounter. We are born into families that exist because of heterosexual love and relationships. This is why, at least I, always thought of heterosexual love as "normal" love.

---------- Post added 25th Jul 2011 at 09:58 AM ----------

Just to be clear I now think all love is "normal". I was just referring to what I always thought as I was growing up.