Thanks. Yes, girls are too. The first person I ever loved/my best friend in the world got married on Saturday. She was the most confusing person I've ever known. As for the boys, a big part of all of this is that I just recently came to a place of peace with my sexuality- and am proud to say that I'm gay. In the past 5 weeks or so, I've come out to myself and my friends and family, I've met a really great guy, but can never tell where things are left off after each conversation or time spent hanging out. Some conversations end with "stay in touch," then there's the random follow up of flirtatiousness. I know it's all part of the dance, but I'm so used to being able to read people - I just can't do it when it involves myself. I working on meeting people in real life, but have also joined an online dating site to try it out - I'm just not used to playing on this side of the fence. I also have a hard time letting people down. Men have always been such a mystery to me and now that I'm at a place of honesty with myself, I feel like I'm back at 17 again. It's all so new... if that makes sense. It may sound stupid, but it'd be great to have a fairy godmother or gay Jiminy Cricket to walk this out with. Someone to show me the ropes if you will. I'm not agonizing other this, it's just a bit frustrating. I have to realize that in a lot of ways, I am back at 17 in terms of how I relate to guys. I'm just hoping I catch up with my actual age soon.
Granted, I haven't gotten into the dating scene yet, but I find them easy to figure out. After all, I am one. That's one of the great things about being gay. It's been my experience that unless otherwise stated or made apparent, they probably have a train of thought similar to yours. My problem is that I try to overanalyze rather than go with my gut or the obvious.
That's what I was afraid of FJ. :lol: It's made more difficult by the fact that I want more than anything is a relationship and the intimacy that comes with it, but have also been stuck in hyper-sexual mode for the past month. It's a battle, and I'm having to check myself pretty much daily. It's frustrating on many levels, and leads to clouded judgement. Lord only knows life's been a series of bold decisions as of late. Maybe it's time to sort it out soon.
I can relate to that clouded judgement you speak of. I'm not in the same place as you as far as dating or even being out, so all I can say is do what feels right for you. If you're tired of the flirting game, maybe you could just say that you like him or talk about where things stand (without coming on too strong, of course). I have such a typical guy mindset towards these things, so maybe I'm not the best person to take advice from, haha.
Iono, I think any time you're confused you should just talk it out. But then i'm pretty optimistically simple-minded
If I still feel that way I can't even imagine how it must feel for you. I'm usually the type of guy that over analyzes everything before acting on it, but ever since I came out I sort of gave myself permission to act on impulse. I've made some seriously stupid mistakes, but it has been a fun ride and I have learned so much This also means that I'm allowing myself to have my "friendly" phase so I can get it out of my system haha The easiest thing to do is to enjoy the ride. Enjoy the confusion and learn from the mistakes
Lol you sound just like me in your second post! I just jumped into the dating scene too and don't have any real clue what I'm doing. C'est la vie, I suppose.
Here's the main thing you need to know about dating (of either gender). You're dealing with a different person. That's it. It's very tempting to assume that this other person is both static (never changing) and has very specific thoughts/ideas/plans in mind when dealing with you at all times. But the fact is, he ain't, and he doesn't. He's feeling out the relationship just like you are. He's just as curious and confused as you are. One second he might think you're his soulmate, and the next he might wonder if he should even bother trying to make this work. He might desire you sexually more than anything he's ever desired anything, and post-orgasm, wonder if perhaps you'd be better off as friends. These are feelings I think most people cycle through when they're first getting involved with somebody, but for some reason, we rarely expect the other person to have them. We expect them to "know what they want", and always be precisely as interested/eager in precisely the same thing we want. And the fact is, that can change. At the outset of a relationship, that can change drastically. Which is where all the "I thought we had something" talk comes from. All the "I can't tell what he wants". All the "Boys are so confusing". Lex
I disagree, People are like clockwork. All it takes is a bit of empathy and foresight, Then everything any one does makes sense.
