Okay so I got a sticky one for you insightful peoples on here. I work out a Muay Thia/Mixed Martial Arts academy 3 or 4 days a week and always have a shower afterwards (I don't wanna stink up my car). Nobody there knows I'm attracted to men and I'm pretty cautious about telling any of the guys in there. I've never been attracted to any of the guys there, although some are close friends, they are simply opponents and training partners to me. But I do feel like there are some guys there who would get it, my coach included, he's a seriously great person. The big question is: There are a whole bunch of openly gay girls there who shower in the womens rooms without so much as a raised eyebrow from the hetro girls, but I have little confidence the mens rooms will have the same level of acceptance (although I'm pretty sure there's some gay/bi guys there, they're just keeping it quiet). Tell me what you guys reckon.... what is the ettiquite here?
hmm...that's tough. maybe if, when u came out to them, u could explain that you don't feel attracted to them in any way shape or form (in fact, tell them u find them ugly!), maybe they'd be more ok with it? ack im sorry i hav the feeling im bein unhelpful...gawd i feel naive...sorry!!
Honestly? Unless your friends with one of them they have no real reason to know. Keep showering buddy don't want you to be stinky : ) just don't bring it up unless it is brought up, i'm gay but i don't walk with a sign on my neck when i shower at the gym that says i am, whatever feels right though, if you feel uncomfertable maybe just wait till everyone showers i dunno its all up to you bud.
>>what is the ettiquite here? Take your shower, change your clothes, and go home. There is no need to bring up your sexuality and potential make things extremely awkward.
see now when you say it like that... sounds dumb what I said. See these are the walls I wanna break down though. It's been drilled into me that I can't continue as normal if I embrace it, but when you slow down and rationalise..... yeah
Over time, as you get to know the people you're working out with, you can gently let them know you're bi. And as that happens, and they get to know you as you, and not as "the gay guy", then you seeing them naked, or they seeing you naked won't be a big deal. Right now, acknowledging your bisexuality is new to you so you're thinking about it constantly... and because it's a big deal to you, your mind naturally assumes it will be to others, and you feel somewhat vulnerable about it. But, particularly in this day and age, it's really not a big deal to most people... and as you become more comfortable with it, I think these things will more naturally solve themselves for you. But feel free to keep bringing up these sorts of q's because it's as you think about them and normalize them that you come to feel more comfortable with yourself.
only advice is be careful in the showers. you already said that most of them you are not attracted to. cool. just go in there, shower, and leave. these gym showers can be a bevy of activity for gay, bisexual, and closeted people. people sometimes stare and stare back at you in these places. since you are there for "work" basically, just get in and get out and dont look around or acknowledge if anyone is looking at it. if you do, there will ALWAYS be a sexual connotation from the shower stare game. noone is going to look at your nude body lustfully and then go up to you later and say "hey let's be platonic friends". my advice to you is your martial arts training is your focus when you are there. keep it your focus. these are your opponents and if you start trying to hook up or make connections with people in the gyms/showers, it may throw you off your game. keep it strictly business in there. also, you can shower whereever you want. just because you are noticing that you may be attracted to guys doesn't mean you have to limit yourself to where you go and what you do. just do everything like you normally would. now if you notice that you are getting aroused in teh shower and it's visible, then maybe just shower at home lol.
