haters gonna hate

I've only experience one homophobic situation, the "Ewwwww", but I just ignored it.

But If I got insulted to my face, I'd probs attack them.. physically :lol:

 

same freaken here :lol: i dont let myself be insulted by idiots and ignorants, or anyone. lol

 

How do I deal with those negative feelings? That's not an easy question to answer. I feel exactly the same way (depressed, angry, hopeless, etc.) when I look at news about the political and economic spheres, but news about the social sphere (including reading about homophobia) doesn't get me down as much as those other two. Why that happens was a mystery to me until very recently.

My father once said something very profound about my feelings of hopelessness about political and economic news that might explain why social news doesn't get me down as much. I first came into awareness of the world outside of my town (the country at large, the political world, the economy, etc.) during the 2000 Bush/Gore election, and since then, things in the economic and political sphere have been in an almost constant downward spiral and have never improved significantly once they declined. Now, I'm not a man of faith, so I can't have faith in things improving if I've never seen them do so, but I can have hope for such a thing if I feel that hope is justified. And being that I've never seen the political world or economic world improve in my lifetime, it's nearly impossible for me to hold out hope that they could ever get any better, so hearing any news about how they are doing badly depresses me greatly.

But the social world? I've seen improvement there in my lifetime. Even just the ten or so years that I've been aware of what was going on in the world, things have improved for gay people in this country. We have more visibility in the media than we did ten years ago, and this is the first time (to my knowledge) in history that the majority of our country's citizens have supported gay marriage. There have even been instances of conservative politicians changing their stances on gay marriage. Because I've seen things get better, I have hope that they can continue doing so, in spite of the fact that they have a long way to go. Because I know that the world is more accepting of us than it used to be and have seen that change with my own two eyes, I'm comfortable looking at news stories about homophobia and saying to myself, "Their time is coming to an end; they just haven't realized it yet."

As for my more personal experiences with homophobia? I'm lucky enough to live in a liberal area, surrounded by friends who like me for who I am and a family that accepts my homosexuality, so when it comes to the small amount of homophobia I experience personally, I'm confident enough to take the very attitude embodied by this thread's title. The "haters gonna hate" attitude is one I take toward many areas of my life that others may disapprove of, so it's easy for me to take it toward their homophobia, as well.

Also, image is relevant:

 

I hear you. I had a couple of very depressing hopeless months of horror after I came out to myself. But I figured out how to handle it pretty well recently. The way I look at is this:

1. Yeah, I have to keep informed. I want to know what is happening in the world and what it means to me. Even if it's bad stuff. I have to know. Knowing is better than not knowing. It means I can do something about it.

2. Doing something about it. Whether is just being nicer to people. Being out. Voting. Speaking up. All of that. I do something and it makes me feel better. Because I'm not the only one doing it. There are millions all over the world who are with me.

3. Find a balance. I have to strike a very careful balance between being informed and standing up for myself and living my life. I can't spend all my time being an activist. I would be miserable. I have to do normal things too. Being gay is not everything that I am. Also, I like to bake. I could use a new book to read. This semester in school is going to be a lot of work. Maybe I'll meet a pretty girl? I'm a normal person who has a life outside of my sexuality and while it's not separate, it's not everything either.

Hope that helps. (*hugs*)

 

>>>Persoanly i try to ignore them...

Uh, no, you don't.

>>>I must be masocistic or somthing because I keep looking up articles about people who are against the lgbt community...



Lex

 

These people are like the monsters that used to hide under my bed. They shut the hell up when you ignore them and stop thinking about them.

 

I just leave it be. People are people. They'll be flawed, they'll be wrong, they'll have differing opinions about what is and isn't okay, and sometimes they won't be civil about it. Behind the aggression, disgust, or what-have-you, I'm generally sure there's plenty of better qualities and less silly beliefs, and that helps me tone it down to "ambivalent." I'm not perfect, either.

A few friends of mine have turned out to be rather unfriendly towards LGBT, but I've managed to forgive them and move on. It happens, but not everyone's like that. I am a very lazy and non-confrontational person by nature, though, so I can't really offer much advice to those who are having a harder time with it. I do hope you get this ironed out, though. Best wishes~

 

It's really hard to think of what could you even have for a negative feeling on my situation. Everybody else around my place are very judgmental. It's either your gay, lesbian or straight in here. "Bisexuals" are basically like gays in denial in here and they don't even exist as a word in here. Many people who came out as gays here were ridiculed so badly; it's like having wildfire that spreads so fast.

If ever that I'll be out anytime soon publicly, I don't think I would feel angry at all. I was raised in a community in here where you're actually taught to be straight so I guess I could accept it. The only thing I care about is that if ever my partner could accept me as I am if he/she turns out to be straight.

 

Personally, whenever I see someone say something homophobic I pretty much instantly get very, very, angry but then I consider the source and I remind myself that they're nobodies, and what they say and think is just absolutely meaningless. I'm living well, and that's the best revenge.

 

Don't have any advice for you, except to admit that I'm pretty masochistic myself in this regard. I definitely lurk on "Mission America" type sites to see exactly what kind of disgusting bigotry is being disseminated from folks like that, so I have an appropriate response if anyone tries to throw those arguments in my face.

But I think the big thing to remember is that people who are coming at you from a position of hate are really just afraid of you. So now when someone sees me on the street and gives me That Look(tm), you know the one, the "Why doesn't somebody do something about these people" look, I just roll my eyes and think:

Pansy.

And as Lex is fond of pointing out, the best revenge is sheer kickassery. If you don't give these people any room in your head and focus your entire will on being the most kickass person you can be (who just happens to be queer) then you bust every stereotype they've ever laid out for you.

You also have to realize that part of it stems from jealousy. As a gay person, you are not necessarily held to the standards of traditional society and are sort of liberated as a result (even though it's not the intention). You're not expected to marry, to carry on a monogamous relationship, to serve in the military, or make any of the sacrifices associated with those choices. You don't have to raise kids (unless you want to) and you can pretty much do what you want because it's a free country.

That kind of liberty - free from the expectations of both religion and traditional society - probably galls those that feel obligated to follow those paths even though it's not their first choice to conform.

Queers get a pass to never conform, because we never will. So get some use out of your free pass.

 

Do you guys know that it is illegal in the Arab world to be gay? You can be sentenced to death! Even in the lower countries of Africa (south of the equator) there are a few cases of people being hanged, shot, stabbed or hit to death because of it.

The situation here in Namibia is a little better I guess, but our country doesn't want to make gay marriages legal... why because of the following ironic story:

The first president (also called the founding father (why i don't know)) has 3 sons. 1 of them was openly gay. At first this was OK and the GLBT communities were happy. the son even have his own gay club (actually a gay shebeen: that is sort of shanty town build out of sink in the informal settlements of the city which are like bars).

A few years ago though he died of AIDS. That is when it got slightly worse for the GLBT community, why because his father holds the entire GLBT community responsible for his death!!! What is ironically, it isn't our fault the guy was the biggest whore and would sleep with everything and everyone that had a penis, whether that person was gay, bi or straight.

But things are improving slightly but not by much.