How do lesbians (or gay men) tell when they are on a date? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Hitchhiker · 21st Aug 2011, 08:02 AM

Like vs. 'just hanging out'. Cause I hang out with same-sex friends all the time. How can you tell (if you are hanging out with a same-sex friend who is gay) if you are on a date or just chilling as friends?!

maverick · 21st Aug 2011, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hitchhiker

Like vs. 'just hanging out'. Cause I hang out with same-sex friends all the time. How can you tell (if you are hanging out with a same-sex friend who is gay) if you are on a date or just chilling as friends?!

If you start macking on them, I'm pretty sure that's a strong indicator.

Also, if you ask them out on a date?

Kerze · 21st Aug 2011, 08:17 AM

'Hey, you wanna hang out?'
vs
'Hey, I really like you, would you like to do something together?'

kiersten · 21st Aug 2011, 08:36 AM

There's always subtle indications in non-verbal communication, like body language, that will be a tip-off that if you're with a same-sex friend & she's into you, she may not be able to hide. Just look for things like is she leaning in closer than usual when you talk to hear what you're saying or does she find really small reasons to maybe touch your arm & compliments from out of nowhere are always a good sign too, but not casual ones, ones that just pop up & seem to indicate 'OK, this girl is really into me & she's flirting'. Of course, there's also the way she might look at you as well. Does she make direct eye contact & seem to gaze or does she seem really unusally nervous & can't seem to look at you. A lot of ths stuff is the same for everyone when they're either into someone, flirting, crushing or just trying to put out that they're interested in you. Really, gay or straight, these kinds of things pretty much are indicators across the board & dating & courting rituals can be pretty much the same regardless of who it is. Just keep a sharp eye & look for subtle (or not so subtle) clues that she might be digging you & want you to pick up on it & show you're interested as well. Of course, these aren't exhaustive, definitive ways of telling so, like me, you have the potential to possibly misread a situation. But if you feel really strongly about how someone is acting around you, chances are you may be right & she's flirting or at least trying to show she's interested. Hope this helps...

heatqueen · 21st Aug 2011, 09:06 AM

Well I could tell that my Sparkles was into me when all of our conversations kept coming back to the same subject: Cold showers.

MyDecember · 21st Aug 2011, 10:49 AM

lol this is actually a good question. I can't tell you how many times hanging out with just one gay guy has gotten awkward. I'm still debating if meeting up with an old friends a long time ago was a date. It was a meet up, movie, Walmart walk around then he wanted to go to my place at like 12am in the morning. I do well in groups though but one on one gay to gay at times feels strange.

JakeupTown · 21st Aug 2011, 01:19 PM

I read body language. 93% of all communication is nonverbal communication, which consists of body language and paralinguistic cues (pitch, volume, stress). Its relatively easy to read a person.

If a person says your "just hanging out" but maintains extended eye contact, moving from one eye to the other and then down to the lips, an open posture, excessive smiling, and seems genuinely interested in you, or what you're saying, this usually means that you guys are not "just hanging out."

But most of the time, you'll know its a date, because they will ask to "go out" instead of "hang out"

21st Aug 2011, 08:02 AM	#1
Hitchhiker Member Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: A few people Posts: 74 Join Date: Jun 2011	How do lesbians (or gay men) tell when they are on a date? Like vs. 'just hanging out'. Cause I hang out with same-sex friends all the time. How can you tell (if you are hanging out with a same-sex friend who is gay) if you are on a date or just chilling as friends?!

21st Aug 2011, 08:17 AM	#3
Kerze Formerly Concretehands Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: two Location: London Town Age: 17 Posts: 1,297 Join Date: Aug 2010	Re: How do lesbians (or gay men) tell when they are on a date? 'Hey, you wanna hang out?' vs 'Hey, I really like you, would you like to do something together?' __________________ Please Understand. We don't want no trouble, we just want the right to be different. That's all. - Pulp/Different Class

21st Aug 2011, 08:36 AM	#4
kiersten KierstenChromium, Mistress Of Metal Full Member Gender: Transgender - MtF Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to 127 people & my parents & 1 cousin so far Location: Sarnia, ON Posts: 1,331 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: How do lesbians (or gay men) tell when they are on a date? There's always subtle indications in non-verbal communication, like body language, that will be a tip-off that if you're with a same-sex friend & she's into you, she may not be able to hide. Just look for things like is she leaning in closer than usual when you talk to hear what you're saying or does she find really small reasons to maybe touch your arm & compliments from out of nowhere are always a good sign too, but not casual ones, ones that just pop up & seem to indicate 'OK, this girl is really into me & she's flirting'. Of course, there's also the way she might look at you as well. Does she make direct eye contact & seem to gaze or does she seem really unusally nervous & can't seem to look at you. A lot of ths stuff is the same for everyone when they're either into someone, flirting, crushing or just trying to put out that they're interested in you. Really, gay or straight, these kinds of things pretty much are indicators across the board & dating & courting rituals can be pretty much the same regardless of who it is. Just keep a sharp eye & look for subtle (or not so subtle) clues that she might be digging you & want you to pick up on it & show you're interested as well. Of course, these aren't exhaustive, definitive ways of telling so, like me, you have the potential to possibly misread a situation. But if you feel really strongly about how someone is acting around you, chances are you may be right & she's flirting or at least trying to show she's interested. Hope this helps... __________________ Penny: What's Sheldon's deal? Leonard: What do you mean "deal"? Penny : You know, like, what's his deal? Is it girls? Guys? Sock puppets? Leonard: Honestly, we've been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.

21st Aug 2011, 09:06 AM	#5
heatqueen Official #1 fan of Celine Dion Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Pansexual/Homoromantic bisexual Out Status: Generally whoever asks Location: I travel a lot Age: 20 Posts: 5,707 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: How do lesbians (or gay men) tell when they are on a date? Well I could tell that my Sparkles was into me when all of our conversations kept coming back to the same subject: Cold showers. __________________ Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Co-founder of the 'Sailor Moon Made Me Gay' club...and the lesbians.

21st Aug 2011, 10:49 AM	#6
MyDecember I pause your thread! Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but family Location: Florida Age: 23 Posts: 365 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: How do lesbians (or gay men) tell when they are on a date? lol this is actually a good question. I can't tell you how many times hanging out with just one gay guy has gotten awkward. I'm still debating if meeting up with an old friends a long time ago was a date. It was a meet up, movie, Walmart walk around then he wanted to go to my place at like 12am in the morning. I do well in groups though but one on one gay to gay at times feels strange. __________________ This is my simple religion: There is no need for temples, there is no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is the temple;the philosophy is loving kindness and compassion --The XIVth Dalai Lama

21st Aug 2011, 01:19 PM	#7
JakeupTown Special Agent Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Moscow, ID Posts: 77 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: How do lesbians (or gay men) tell when they are on a date? I read body language. 93% of all communication is nonverbal communication, which consists of body language and paralinguistic cues (pitch, volume, stress). Its relatively easy to read a person. If a person says your "just hanging out" but maintains extended eye contact, moving from one eye to the other and then down to the lips, an open posture, excessive smiling, and seems genuinely interested in you, or what you're saying, this usually means that you guys are not "just hanging out." But most of the time, you'll know its a date, because they will ask to "go out" instead of "hang out" __________________ "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." -Oscar Wilde

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