The gay stare

[MyDecember]

Often times people ask me about gaydar and how I know off the bat if someone is gay or not. Thinking back it wasn't ever a feeling but more of a stare or look I get/give off that sets off a feeling that someone is gay. Anyone experience this?

I'm asking because I think the gay guy at work is figuring out I'm not the straightest knife in the cabinet though I've never really said a word to him. I'm constantly getting caught staring in his direction and him in mine for a second and in that instant it hits that he is of the homosex type.

This happened is high school as well, pinpointing gay students before they ever came out. Never wrong except the few who I still believe are bisexual. Maybe I'm crazy and this is nothing but does anyone know of any research done on this or if its a real phenomenon among lesbians and other gay men as well?

[maverick]

People are flippant about gaydar and its accuracy, but I think it's a real phenomenon. Something like 80% of human language is body language.

And I read a study that said the gaydar of women increases significantly during ovulation (or periods of increased hormone levels), so gaydar probably has some basis in human intuition and biology as well.

But I also think that gay people use the same coy just-a-half-second-longer-than-necessary "I'm interested" eye contact that straight people do, they just subconsciously direct it at the same sex instead of the opposite sex.

[malachite]

oh man! thought this was some kind of secret power we had to stare at people and make them gay, like a carebear stare only with more rainbows.....wait....nevermind

[txnathrt]

Originally Posted by malachite

oh man! thought this was some kind of secret power we had to stare at people and make them gay, like a carebear stare only with more rainbows.....wait....nevermind

omg awesome! I study American sign language, and criminal interrogation, and so mu h of what is communicated is non-verbal.

[Beachboi92]

i have this same thing happen with me all the time and i think reading peoples body language is the best way to get a feel for their sexuality. I've always been pretty accurate with that stuff and i don't totally understand why but i do get those situations where i just look at someone and we lock eye contact and i understand that they are. I think watching where someones looks is a great way to get a sense for if they are gay. A gay guy is obviously going to spend more time checking out guys than women, and a heterosexual is going to have his eyes more drawn by the female form.

[Ridiculous]

It's much more entertaining if you call it a "queer-stare," for the rhyme factor.

And yes, I definitely experience the queer-stare occasionally. I do catch myself doing it subconsciously as well..

[Marlowe]

There is a lot really cool (well if you are a nerd) academic scholarship about gaydar, among other findings that gays are better than straight people at identifying other gay people just by seeing a picture for a moment. Definitely been my experience, that you can pick up on it really quick, pretty much instantaneously, especially around the person.

[Daisy1]

Originally Posted by Marlowe

There is a lot really cool (well if you are a nerd) academic scholarship about gaydar, among other findings that gays are better than straight people at identifying other gay people just by seeing a picture for a moment. Definitely been my experience, that you can pick up on it really quick, pretty much instantaneously, especially around the person.

I think that stuff is really interesting as well. I remember reading an article recently that said that people can often (I don't think it specifies how often) tell a man's sexuality from his face.

Here's a link if you're interested: There's Something Queer about That Face: Scientific American

Would be curious to hear what the other ECers think.

[Sheyceli]

I have never experienced such a thing. I can never tell if someone is gay, and everyone I've told has said they were very surprised. I feel left out :/

[Hermes]

I'm not really sure. For some reason, I'm better at identifying gay men rather than women, which isn't overly helpful.

Also, has anyone heard of something called the "gay smirk"?

[predator9089]

Originally Posted by Sheyceli

I have never experienced such a thing. I can never tell if someone is gay, and everyone I've told has said they were very surprised. I feel left out :/

No worries Sheyceli, I'm exactly the same as you

[maverick]

Would be curious to hear what the other ECers think.

I took a gaydar test based on facial recognition and was able to pick out the queer 75% of the time.

So I guess if I was in a room with 100 people, I could probably figure out at least seven of them were gay. The other three would be stealths.

[TWestside]

If there really is a gaydar, i think mine is broken. I still cannot understand if someone is gay or not unless it's so obvious.

[Enaithor]

Originally Posted by maverick

I took a gaydar test based on facial recognition and was able to pick out the queer 75% of the time.

So I guess if I was in a room with 100 people, I could probably figure out at least seven of them were gay. The other three would be stealths.

10% is quite an ambitious homo rate though!?

[Bowie]

Originally Posted by malachite

oh man! thought this was some kind of secret power we had to stare at people and make them gay, like a carebear stare only with more rainbows.....wait....nevermind

A round of applause for this post.

[maverick]

10% is quite an ambitious homo rate though!?

Is it? I always thought 10% was a conservative estimate, because it only includes people who identify as LGBT. It doesn't count anyone in the closet.

Maybe it's just wishful thinking.

When I hear "gay stare", this is all I can think about, creepily enough:

+ YouTube Video

Probably because I always just saw Kaa and Shere Khan as being super gay because of their voiceacting. Hehe. (It's the lisp. )

[cityofangels]

I used to work as a courtesy clerk at a grocery store. One time while I was bagging groceries I was staring at some girl. Anyways she asked for a carryout, and I took her groceries out for her. She ended up hitting on me. Smiling at me alot, telling me what she was doing that day, and whether or not I was doing anything on Friday night I ended up turning her down because I thought I was straight. I definately think there is such a thing as the gay stare She knew I was gay before I ever knew I was gay. LOL.

[Bosco]

I think there definitely is!
or maybe that's confirmation bias...
but regardless i have a blast staring into a cute boy's eyes from halfway across the room :P

[NickT]

I stare into space a lot. Does that mean I'm surrounded by gayness? o.o

[jll2755]

Well actions speak lauded than words right. I think that we just are always looking for one another. So somehow we just know who is gay. Idk mine doesnt work great but i think tats because I probably want thek to be gay.