Flirty straight people

[Daisy1]

I'd love some EC feedback on something that's been bugging me...

Twice in the past year, I have become friends with women who seem to be flirting with me (telling me I'm beautiful, dancing with me at clubs, complimenting my body, touching me more often than necessary, etc).

Both have turned out to have boyfriends and, I think, act this way with most of their friends. Clearly, I was misreading the signs. I've never been particularly touchy-feely, and neither are my friends, so I'm wondering, is this just how certain straight women act? If so, how do I distinguish between flirting and being friendly?

Thanks, guys!

[maverick]

This is an observed phenomenon. Check out the second half of this post on heterosexual "sport fishing"...

Effing Dykes: 3/1/11 - 4/1/11

[Daisy1]

Thanks, maverick. That's very interesting. I wonder if the two women were been able to tell that I'm interested in women. I was certainly flirting back...

[RaeofLite]

That was quite a rant on that blog.

[kiersten]

I used to go to clubbing with a couple of gf's of mine - both straight - and quite often they would get up on the dancefloor and start totally hardcore making out with each other Other times, they'd dance with other women, total strangers, & just completely go crazy, grinding on them and just being really suggestive & physical. While most of moron, redneck guys thought it was the coolest thing they'd ever seen, I really could never understand why straight women would behave like that with other straight women, or even with bisexual or gay women for that matter. As far as I could tell, alcohol just loosens the inhibitions, as well as there possibly being curiosity on both of my friends' parts. I know there had been a couple of times we'd all been sitting around the table after they got off the dancefloor & the topic would come up about it & curiosity would be one of the reasons, although more often than not it was just shrugged & laughed off & I'd hear the 'it's just in good fun' as a reason.' It's hard to nail down why straight women do that sometimes, but I've always chalked it up to a safe way to explore sexuality without any real consequences, I mean, that's pretty much what dancing is sort of about anyway...

[thevedman]

That's really interesting... do straight guys do it with gay guys too? As if things weren't confusing enough!

[Mad Man L]

Generally, no. I'd say part of the reason would be that women would be more inclined to express their same-sex impulses than guys would be. Remember, straight men largely have the 'Ewwwww, gay guys' mentality. So they'd have to be drunk to do something like that.

[Uniboth]

Sadly... a straight guy constantly flirted with me to the point that I thought he actually had feelings for me. Ass-pinching, Kiss, Staring, Touching (sensual), WORDS (lots of it) - add all that up and you got cupid's &@#$ng arrow. The dude turned out to be a nasty man-whore and it sucks giant balls that I can't seem to get over him. I'm doing better though, jumping back and forth between denial, anger and acceptance (acceptance is new, hence I'm getting better).

[maverick]

From Effing Dykes:

My friend Cai, who is, admittedly, ridiculously, unfairly, boyishly hot, tells me that sometimes, otherwise-lovely straight women act strangely upon realizing or finding out she's a dyke.

It's as if they're seeing if they can get a rise out of her, but they do it cutely, so it looks innocent.

Checking to see what kind of effect their sexual energy has on a lesbian.

Cai (who miiiiight be a little bitter at this point) says that the straight girls are almost never serious, and that most times she's actually showed interest back, the girl backs the fuck away.

Do you get why Cai calls this sport fishing?
Cause you don't actually eat the fish.
Ha.

CJ calls this exact same phenomenon - where a straight girl flirts with you, "tries you on", tries to get you to do her little favors, and tests her ability to attract you - a dry run.

Nobody gets wet during the dry run.

[kiersten]

Nobody gets wet during the dry run? I've had girls flirt with me a bit like that & I can say that it wasn't the case with me a couple of times! LOL!

[maverick]

Nobody gets wet during the dry run? I've had girls flirt with me a bit like that & I can say that it wasn't the case with me a couple of times! LOL!

You're a dirty girl.

[predator9089]

Originally Posted by thevedman

That's really interesting... do straight guys do it with gay guys too? As if things weren't confusing enough!

My best guy friend (he's straight) does it to me all the time . It's flattering, but hard to deal with sometimes.

[ezkill]

I flirt with my two straight guy friends all the time. Often it's more like showing "manly" affection. Males in general have different ways of showing affection, and unique ways of flirting when compared to females. While females will flaunt their hair, bat their eyelashes, and make physical contact... guys will rough house with each other, tickle each other, etc.

For me, my guy friends often give me shoulder massages. We often rough house, give each other hugs, foot massages, and piggy back rides. To me this is flirting, but to others this is just playfulness. It's just a way of showing affection.

As for females... I don't understand them still! :-)

[TheRoof]

Originally Posted by RaeofLite

That was quite a rant on that blog.

LOL i agree, but that blog is effin hilarious I actually added Effin Dykes in my browser as one of my reading blogs lol

Anyways, I actually have a close friend from HS whom I kinda verbally flirt with. It's nothing sexual or something, it's just playing games with words and I kinda like flirting with him actually. We're not attracted to each other or anything, but it's still fun.

Also one time I was merely just talking with this upperclassman girl and she like bluntly told me why I was flirting with her, and I was like, I am NOT...well I guess I was, but there wasn't any ulterior motive.

My point is, I think it depends on people. Some people, whether gay or straight, just like to flirt, and that's that. The key is to pick up whether it's just empty flirting, or there's an actual substance behind that flirting...