Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

EndlessMusic · 1st Sep 2011, 06:07 AM

Just a topic that came up with friends, would love some opinions from ECers
cheers

maverick · 1st Sep 2011, 06:18 AM

It's only a big deal because of the heteronormative status quo that makes LGBT people second class citizens and targets of violence/discrimination.

In day to day life, nah, it's nothing major. Queers put their pants on one leg at a time like everyone else.

**Maddy** · 1st Sep 2011, 06:21 AM

It's been a major influence in my life simply because of the directions in which it's taken me. My work for the last three years has been for a queer youth association, and that's also how I met most of my best friends. But it's not the fact that I like girls that's hugely changed my life, it's what I've done with that.

**Filip** · 1st Sep 2011, 06:33 AM

For me, it's both.

On the one hand: I am who I am because of a great many character traits. Most of which don't have to do with who I'm attracted to. The job I do, the hobbies I have, the friends I associate with are all mostly determined by being interested in science and technology in the broad sense.

Then again: it is major enough to make it impossible to imagine where I would have been had I been straight.
If there's a straight Filip in an alternate dimension somewhere, I'd put odds on him living together or married to a girl by now, so I guess that would be an enormous change of situation.
And there's a couple of people I talk to almost everyday I would have never met were I not gay. so I guess the Filip from the above alternate universe would have some rather different friends too.

So in the end, it's a major thing, but not the major thing about me.

heatqueen · 1st Sep 2011, 07:00 AM

Well, it's the 21st century, so my answer is...

It just is.

It can't be 'nothing' because everything comes from something and nothing comes from nothing. Therefore something that 'is' is something that always has been. And since homosexuality is something that 'always has been' it shouldn't be a big deal at all.

Did that bit of attempted philosophy make sense?

Kidd · 1st Sep 2011, 09:34 AM

I really don't think it's a big deal or anything.

fiddledeedee · 1st Sep 2011, 09:39 AM

It is usually about as big a deal to me as the fact that i have brown hair. It depends on the circumstances, though; mention me telling my mum and I will cower (admittedly, not nearly as much as i used to).

Leif · 1st Sep 2011, 10:54 AM

It really depends on the situation, who I'm talking to or what we're talking about. It's always kinda a constant thought in the back of my mind but on a day to dY basis I usually have a million other things I'm thinking about as well.

s5m1 · 1st Sep 2011, 11:01 AM

Interesting question. In some ways, being gay is both major and minor. It is major in the sense that I would not be who I am today had I not been gay. My experiences, perspective and self-identity were all shaped by my sexuality and how I experienced being gay.

I would not say it is nothing because it is a part of me, but it is not all of who I am. Sure, I am gay. But, I am also a man, a lawyer, a father, a person who enjoys the water and being outdoors, etc. I am not defined solely by my sexuality - it is a part of my whole self.

Mad Man L · 2nd Sep 2011, 01:26 AM

Being biseuxal, assuming that it is just that, hasn't greatly influenced me. The only significant thing it does is that now and then the fact I like men comes up and that I can judge whether a guy is hot or not with my female friends.

Overall, assuming my bisexuality isn't connected in any other way towards my life outlook, the influence of being LGBT is minor at this point in time.

midwestgirl89 · 2nd Sep 2011, 10:53 AM

It's both. It's not a big deal because we are normal people who live normal boring lives but it is a big deal because of society's need to treat gay people like crap. Homosexuality is normal and found throughout all of history but it's considered a deviant lifestyle by some regardless of history. Blah.

You can tell it's major in some aspects just by the fact that we have to "come out". When we don't have to come out and can just be ourselves without fear of rejection/aren't assumed to be straight, being LGBT will be less of a major thing. When being LGBT is considered as normal as having blue eyes.

---------- Post added 2nd Sep 2011 at 01:55 PM ----------

In my life, it has a big influence because I'm closed off to discussing my emotions due to the fact that they are for girls.

malachite · 2nd Sep 2011, 11:00 AM

Do I think it's a big deal I'm gay, no.
Do I think it's a big deal that certain people look down on us, yes.

2nd Sep 2011, 02:44 PM

It's MAJOR for me because other people see it as something so out of the ordinary and so taboo. I wish that I didn't have to deal with so many people who are so close minded and conservative and unwilling to try and understand people different from themselves.

Until heterosexuals accept homosexuality as something authentic/legitimate/normal it will be a big deal.

Daisy1 · 2nd Sep 2011, 03:29 PM

It's a big deal to me as well because I have to figure out whether I am, in fact, gay and the implications it will have on my life. I look forward to having it all figured out and it hopefully not being a big deal anymore.

LegitRomance · 2nd Sep 2011, 03:33 PM

Depends on who you're asking.
Some people do consider it and make it a big deal
But some prefer to stay invisble.

I choose to stay invisible hence why I'm doing online school now.

Stuie · 2nd Sep 2011, 06:32 PM

I was in a really interesting discussion about this yesterday. Basically there's two main camps regarding this, the civil rights movement and the queer movement. The main aim of civil rights is the assimilation of GLBTIQ people into society, embracing the inherent differences, but not kicking up a huge fuss. In this, being GLBTIQ is not a huge deal and it tends to be the most prominent political movement from the GLBTIQ community at the moment. Equal marriage is high on the agenda for it.

The queer movement comes mostly from queer theory. Basically the main aim of the queer movement is the total deconstruction of gender as a concept. This basically means concepts like sexuality, marriage and some of the most basic assumptions we make when we meet people are totally invalidated. It's somewhat tied to anarchy as it's pretty easy to argue that power structures only really serve to empower the patriarchy.

Halcyon · 2nd Sep 2011, 11:35 PM

I think it's only a big a deal as people make it out to be. If it is a cause for discrimination, then that is a problem. If someone is simply that way and happy living out their life that way with no undue discourse, then it's not a big deal.

Haberdasher · 2nd Sep 2011, 11:44 PM

I don't think it would be a big deal to me if I could convince other people not to make a big deal of it. As is, it's a bit of a frightening trait to have especially when others can tell and I can't tell how I'm tipping them off.

Only inherent problem to it I can see is that at least 90% of the populace is defacto non-dateable.

thedreamwatch · 3rd Sep 2011, 10:15 PM

Depends on the situation or how I'm looking at it.

I probably wouldn't think about it at all, except for two things:

-I can't help but be reminded of how different I am all the time. Partly because there are not many people like me represented very well in the media we're constantly surrounded by. Partly because a lot of people make a huge deal out of me being gay because it's different to them and I feel like it's shoved in my face a lot. I wish people weren't like "OH YOU'RE GAY????!!!" but sometimes that's how it is and I'm like *facepalm* yes, I am. So basically, queers are a minority and face minority life. I'm a baby dyke and not even a year out of the closet, so I'm very aware of this in my daily life.

-If I'm considering the path my life has taken, like others have said before me, I can definitely see that when I realized I'm gay it changed me and the course of my life.

But if I'm not sitting and thinking deeply about my life, or being hyper-aware of the heteronormative, I barely even think about it. There are days when being gay doesn't cross my mind, but there are days when it's right there in my thoughts. Honestly I think it depends on what I'm doing. If it's normal everyday stuff with everyday people, then it's not a huge deal. If I'm doing something new or with someone new or I'm feeling really pensive, it's more of a big deal to me.

Lotty · 4th Sep 2011, 01:33 AM

I don't think it's a big deal, but I don't think it's nothing either. It's who and what I am, and so many other people. No one can change that. But it's not all that we are. We are the same in this one thing, but, as for the rest, we may be totally different.
So it's just a part of who you are. Or it's not.

1st Sep 2011, 06:07 AM	#1
EndlessMusic Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Questioning Out Status: Some people Location: MELBOURNEEE Posts: 64 Join Date: Apr 2011	Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? Just a topic that came up with friends, would love some opinions from ECers cheers __________________ Hey Angel, Why so duh SEXY?

1st Sep 2011, 06:18 AM	#2
maverick let watchers become warriors Full Member Gender: You tell me. Orientation: Hey good lookin'. wink Out Status: It's pretty obvious. Location: Alabama cue banjos Age: 26 Posts: 2,118 Join Date: Nov 2010	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? It's only a big deal because of the heteronormative status quo that makes LGBT people second class citizens and targets of violence/discrimination. In day to day life, nah, it's nothing major. Queers put their pants on one leg at a time like everyone else. __________________ Shelter me oh genius words, just give me strength / to pen these things, and give me peace to well her wings / and oh, oh carry on, all you minstrels of the world, we will catch our lady's ear, we will win for us the girl. Last edited by maverick; 1st Sep 2011 at 06:20 AM..

1st Sep 2011, 06:21 AM	#3
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,704 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? It's been a major influence in my life simply because of the directions in which it's taken me. My work for the last three years has been for a queer youth association, and that's also how I met most of my best friends. But it's not the fact that I like girls that's hugely changed my life, it's what I've done with that. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

1st Sep 2011, 06:33 AM	#4
Filip Cecile's sidekick EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but extended family Location: Belgium, EU Age: 28 Posts: 3,366 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? For me, it's both. On the one hand: I am who I am because of a great many character traits. Most of which don't have to do with who I'm attracted to. The job I do, the hobbies I have, the friends I associate with are all mostly determined by being interested in science and technology in the broad sense. Then again: it is major enough to make it impossible to imagine where I would have been had I been straight. If there's a straight Filip in an alternate dimension somewhere, I'd put odds on him living together or married to a girl by now, so I guess that would be an enormous change of situation. And there's a couple of people I talk to almost everyday I would have never met were I not gay. so I guess the Filip from the above alternate universe would have some rather different friends too. So in the end, it's a major thing, but not the major thing about me. __________________ To the world, you're somebody, but to somebody, you're the world...

1st Sep 2011, 07:00 AM	#5
heatqueen Official #1 fan of Celine Dion Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Pansexual/Homoromantic bisexual Out Status: Generally whoever asks Location: I travel a lot Age: 20 Posts: 5,707 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? Well, it's the 21st century, so my answer is... It just is. It can't be 'nothing' because everything comes from something and nothing comes from nothing. Therefore something that 'is' is something that always has been. And since homosexuality is something that 'always has been' it shouldn't be a big deal at all. Did that bit of attempted philosophy make sense? __________________ Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink. Co-founder of the 'Sailor Moon Made Me Gay' club...and the lesbians.

1st Sep 2011, 09:34 AM	#6
Kidd You'll love me! Full Member Gender: ♂ Orientation: ♂ ♥ ♂ Out Status: Out Location: N.W. Ohio Age: 21 Posts: 1,430 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? I really don't think it's a big deal or anything. __________________ I feel a hunger. Take my picture by the pool, because I'm the next big thing. Fingers crossed, my time is coming now...

1st Sep 2011, 09:39 AM	#7
fiddledeedee 22/12-31/12+X! Full Member Gender: Complicated female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Most, sans Dad Location: England Age: 15 Posts: 1,128 Join Date: May 2011	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? It is usually about as big a deal to me as the fact that i have brown hair. It depends on the circumstances, though; mention me telling my mum and I will cower (admittedly, not nearly as much as i used to). __________________ A problem should be measured not by the cause of the problem but by the consequences it has on a person. ~ Anfauglith

1st Sep 2011, 10:54 AM	#8
Leif i carry your heart Full Member Gender: trans/FtM/genderqueer Orientation: pansexual Out Status: A few people Location: Middle of nowhere Australia Age: 22 Posts: 242 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? It really depends on the situation, who I'm talking to or what we're talking about. It's always kinda a constant thought in the back of my mind but on a day to dY basis I usually have a million other things I'm thinking about as well. __________________ "We are the music makers, And we are the dreamers of dreams," -Ode, Aurthur O'Shaughnessy

1st Sep 2011, 11:01 AM	#9
s5m1 Gay and Couldn't be Happier! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Maryland Age: 46 Posts: 861 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? Interesting question. In some ways, being gay is both major and minor. It is major in the sense that I would not be who I am today had I not been gay. My experiences, perspective and self-identity were all shaped by my sexuality and how I experienced being gay. I would not say it is nothing because it is a part of me, but it is not all of who I am. Sure, I am gay. But, I am also a man, a lawyer, a father, a person who enjoys the water and being outdoors, etc. I am not defined solely by my sexuality - it is a part of my whole self.

2nd Sep 2011, 01:26 AM	#10
Mad Man L EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: All but family Location: Brisbane, Australia Age: 16 Posts: 1,244 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? Being biseuxal, assuming that it is just that, hasn't greatly influenced me. The only significant thing it does is that now and then the fact I like men comes up and that I can judge whether a guy is hot or not with my female friends. Overall, assuming my bisexuality isn't connected in any other way towards my life outlook, the influence of being LGBT is minor at this point in time. __________________ I really should get a proper signature...

2nd Sep 2011, 10:53 AM	#11
midwestgirl89 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Interested in Women Out Status: Some people Age: 23 Posts: 559 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? It's both. It's not a big deal because we are normal people who live normal boring lives but it is a big deal because of society's need to treat gay people like crap. Homosexuality is normal and found throughout all of history but it's considered a deviant lifestyle by some regardless of history. Blah. You can tell it's major in some aspects just by the fact that we have to "come out". When we don't have to come out and can just be ourselves without fear of rejection/aren't assumed to be straight, being LGBT will be less of a major thing. When being LGBT is considered as normal as having blue eyes. ---------- Post added 2nd Sep 2011 at 01:55 PM ---------- In my life, it has a big influence because I'm closed off to discussing my emotions due to the fact that they are for girls.

2nd Sep 2011, 11:00 AM	#12
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 6,480 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? Do I think it's a big deal I'm gay, no. Do I think it's a big deal that certain people look down on us, yes. __________________ It's the 21st century, your bigotry is outdated. Either upgrade or go away.

2nd Sep 2011, 02:44 PM	#13
missyjustice Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? It's MAJOR for me because other people see it as something so out of the ordinary and so taboo. I wish that I didn't have to deal with so many people who are so close minded and conservative and unwilling to try and understand people different from themselves. Until heterosexuals accept homosexuality as something authentic/legitimate/normal it will be a big deal.

2nd Sep 2011, 03:29 PM	#14
Daisy1 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Girls Out Status: Pretty much out! Location: East Coast Age: 26 Posts: 307 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? It's a big deal to me as well because I have to figure out whether I am, in fact, gay and the implications it will have on my life. I look forward to having it all figured out and it hopefully not being a big deal anymore.

2nd Sep 2011, 03:33 PM	#15
LegitRomance [Insert Title Here]</3 Regular Member Gender: Haha...oh.. o-o Orientation: Good question. Out Status: Heh.... Location: Let's just say hell. Age: 15 Posts: 85 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? Depends on who you're asking. Some people do consider it and make it a big deal But some prefer to stay invisble. I choose to stay invisible hence why I'm doing online school now.

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2nd Sep 2011, 06:32 PM	#16
Stuie Hugs - $POA Full Member Gender: e^(πi) +1 = 0 Orientation: Schnoo Out Status: Moo Cow Location: Canberra, Australia Age: 19 Posts: 1,463 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? I was in a really interesting discussion about this yesterday. Basically there's two main camps regarding this, the civil rights movement and the queer movement. The main aim of civil rights is the assimilation of GLBTIQ people into society, embracing the inherent differences, but not kicking up a huge fuss. In this, being GLBTIQ is not a huge deal and it tends to be the most prominent political movement from the GLBTIQ community at the moment. Equal marriage is high on the agenda for it. The queer movement comes mostly from queer theory. Basically the main aim of the queer movement is the total deconstruction of gender as a concept. This basically means concepts like sexuality, marriage and some of the most basic assumptions we make when we meet people are totally invalidated. It's somewhat tied to anarchy as it's pretty easy to argue that power structures only really serve to empower the patriarchy.

2nd Sep 2011, 11:35 PM	#17
Halcyon Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Questioning Out Status: How can I be out if I don't know what I am? Location: The North Pole. Posts: 15 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? I think it's only a big a deal as people make it out to be. If it is a cause for discrimination, then that is a problem. If someone is simply that way and happy living out their life that way with no undue discourse, then it's not a big deal.

2nd Sep 2011, 11:44 PM	#18
Haberdasher Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay, probably Posts: 109 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? I don't think it would be a big deal to me if I could convince other people not to make a big deal of it. As is, it's a bit of a frightening trait to have especially when others can tell and I can't tell how I'm tipping them off. Only inherent problem to it I can see is that at least 90% of the populace is defacto non-dateable. __________________ They called me mad, I called them mad, and damn them they outvoted me! -- Nathaniel Lee upon being commited to Bedlam

3rd Sep 2011, 10:15 PM	#19
thedreamwatch Maximum Ridiculosity Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Kinsey 5. So, pretty gay. Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Wisconsin Age: 22 Posts: 1,274 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? Depends on the situation or how I'm looking at it. I probably wouldn't think about it at all, except for two things: -I can't help but be reminded of how different I am all the time. Partly because there are not many people like me represented very well in the media we're constantly surrounded by. Partly because a lot of people make a huge deal out of me being gay because it's different to them and I feel like it's shoved in my face a lot. I wish people weren't like "OH YOU'RE GAY????!!!" but sometimes that's how it is and I'm like facepalm yes, I am. So basically, queers are a minority and face minority life. I'm a baby dyke and not even a year out of the closet, so I'm very aware of this in my daily life. -If I'm considering the path my life has taken, like others have said before me, I can definitely see that when I realized I'm gay it changed me and the course of my life. But if I'm not sitting and thinking deeply about my life, or being hyper-aware of the heteronormative, I barely even think about it. There are days when being gay doesn't cross my mind, but there are days when it's right there in my thoughts. Honestly I think it depends on what I'm doing. If it's normal everyday stuff with everyday people, then it's not a huge deal. If I'm doing something new or with someone new or I'm feeling really pensive, it's more of a big deal to me. __________________ "I came out laughing, I came out screaming, I came out dancing..." - T&S

4th Sep 2011, 01:33 AM	#20
Lotty Everybody's fool Regular Member Gender: Mostly female Orientation: I've given up on that one. Out Status: I don't hide it. Location: Holland!!!<3 Age: 17 Posts: 460 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: Do you think being LGBT is major or nothing? I don't think it's a big deal, but I don't think it's nothing either. It's who and what I am, and so many other people. No one can change that. But it's not all that we are. We are the same in this one thing, but, as for the rest, we may be totally different. So it's just a part of who you are. Or it's not. __________________ .That's myself in the mirror.