what intimate things do guys enjoy

[Gilarm]

Hi there,
I'm very new to the site, and very new to the possibility that I may be Bi or gay.
I have recenlt met a guy on line, 6 years younger than me (I'm 56), we've been e-mailing for about 19 days and we are now talking about meeting up for a coffee and a chat, and if that goes well meeting up for an overnight stay or possible a weekend. Even though I have been married ( now a widower), I have very limited sexual experience (very,very limited, long story), and 0 experience with men. So my question is what do gay men enjoy ( and whilst i know what most things mean in theory, I have never actually done them or had them done to me (that includes oral)). So suggestions, advice, a handbook with lots of pictures, or in other words Help please.

thanks

Gil

[Filip]

Well, hi there, and welcome to EC!

I don't really have a clear answer to so broad a question as the one you pose. What gay men enjoy, like what straight men enjoy, runs the gamut from holding hands, over hugging, to heavy petting and oral and anal sex. Just like with straight men and women, the boundaries for what's fun and what's to far run differently for everyone. And they change over time.

I'll leave it to others to give a more exhaustive list of things to try out, but I do suggest that, if you're considering meeting up and taking thins further with this guy, to really just do the following:

- Ask him about what he likes. Okay, that's not a conversation you start everyday, but if you're considering being naked in bed together, it should be possible to talk about it beforehand. If he has previous experience, he might give a far better list than we ever could. And if he doesn't have experience, he'll probably have some ideas anyway, as nearly no one is a virgin at fantasy

- Be honest about your own lack of experience and mention starting off slowly. I'm suposing you already have some ideas about what you like, so you could mention those as ideas.
And above all: if you decide to try it out, and you feel like you're going too far for your comfort zone: just say you'd like to not go further for now.

Yes, the above is not an easy answer. But knowing what this guy wants to try, and what you want to try, is a better start than working through a list of sex acts per % preference.

[Steve712]

The Gay Life guide on About.com does a very good job, I think, on making articles for a whole host of situations, including yours.

Gay Sex Advice - Articles And Advice About Gay Sex

If you follow that link, you can find dozens of articles explaining different sexual acts and how to perform them satisfactorily and safely (a lot of them are responses to emails from people wondering about the various topics).

Of course, reading all of those articles won't magically make you great in bed. As Filip said in more detail, communication is vital to a mutually fulfilling experience. Talk to him about it, if you two veer in that direction.

I hope coffee goes well!

[Gilarm]

thanks Both, Filip, one of the problems is, that I don't really know what I do want, I know I def want to be naked and in bed with him, but then what, how and a load of other questions.

Steve I shall have alook at the site thanks.

[maverick]

Check out this book!

The Joys of Gay Sex

Also at your local Barnes n' Noble.

[Ben]

Your first time with a guy might be pretty daunting, but it'll probably come to you a lot easier than you think. If you want to be naked, then be naked. And if all you want to do is cuddle, well that's just grand.

I'm just like you, I want everything spelled out for me in a rule book to follow by the word, otherwise I'm just not comfortable. But the truth is that sexual things are very natural, and giving oral turns out to be pretty easy—you just put it in your mouth and move up and down. Handjobs are pretty similar—you just… put it in your hand and move up and down. If he's leading, then you can just copy what he does. Most likely, he won't do much that he doesn't want to get himself.

I'd recommend to wait a while for anal, though (if you end up doing it at all), and don't feel pressured to do anything with this guy. If he starts doing something you're not comfortable with, say no and move on.