Is online dating more important for the LGBT community?

[Enaithor]

I don't like the idea of online dating, myself. Maybe because of the amount of PSHCEE I've had shoved down my throat after 12 years of state school education, but online dating sounds dangerous. Ish. Meeting people in real life that you haven't had a lot of contact and reality verification with seems risky at best. And even then, a lot of people who use online dating are looking for casual sex. Which I don't have a moral objection to or anything, but if they were previously having loads of casual sex and are now no longer doing so, how are you to know that? Obviously, high amounts of casual sex is more likely to lead to STDs. So it makes sense to steer clear of online dating.

But then, really, how many gay people do most of us actually know? Depending on where you live....for me I probably know about 10 gay guys in total. That's considered a lot though, for a lot of people I know, I'm the only gay guy they've ever met. Straight people have probably a third of their friends as potential members of sexual interest. If you're gay, that percentage is...rather low.
However, the problem of knowing no other gay people is not a problem, as our straight girl friends know this other gay guy, and he happens to be the PERFECT match! Except really they've just thought "Oh my god, I know 2 gay guys they must be perfect for each other as they both have and like cocks!", so major facepalmage ensues.

So really, is online dating actually quite important, maybe more than some of us would like, or care to admit, for the LGBT community?

[maverick]

*lolz* Oh my God, that's exactly what it's like.

I think online dating is okay...I've never done it, and I'm more into traditional dating because it's all I've been exposed to, but I wouldn't completely shoot it down.

On the other hand, as far as the list of trawling Websites That-Shall-Not-Be-Named goes...I think it's REALLY sketch to meet up with someone for random encounters over the Internet, considering I read a news story where someone did that and ended up being cannibalized.

Cannibalized.



But it'd be different if I'd gotten to know someone really well online first. Aka You Got Mail.

[Fugs]

Well, there are a few precautions to take before meeting the person face to face.

1. Don't rush it, take the time to learn about the person. This means constant e-mails and keeping in contact. If you suspect anything then nothing is stopping you from just ceasing all communication with them.

2. Request photos and lots of them, if the person is hesitant to show you who they are then that's a big warning sign. If you can arrange a web cam sitting then that is even better.

3. When you do decide to finally meet that person make sure to see the site before hand, be it a diner or a park. Look for escape routs and keep them in the back of your mind for if you feel the need to end the date.

4. Make sure to have your first date in a highly public area, restaurants are usually pretty packed so they are a good place to start.

5. Before you leave your home place a note in an obvious area detailing where you are going, how long you will be gone, who you left with, and when you departed.

There are very, very, very few instances where you should ever really need to be this cautious but making sure to keep it safe until you are absolutely sure you can trust that person is a wise idea.

So long as you play it safe online dating can be a very good way for meeting potential mates.

[Enaithor]

Ah, I saw that story of the dude who got cannibalised D:
See I'm still really D: about online dating. I'm not planning on doing it any time soon, (I'm only 17!) but I'm just wondering if I'll have to treat it as a necessary evil in the future :/

Also a lot of straight people I know say that online dating is for people who are either too socially inept or unattractive to date people they know from like, real life. And I totally get what they mean and maybe agree a bit too much, but as there's the whole thing of not enough people being gay, so I'm thinking maybe it's more important for us. :/

[Davo]

Both me and my straight best friend have found our partners online. I think as I was completely closeted a few years ago, meeting another gay guy in real life would be impossible - so I joined an online website with the intention of making friends and speaking to other gay people. There are a lot of people looking for just sex, but if you're wanting something more meaningful then stick to that, make that clear and don't chat to people who make you feel uncomfortable. I was online for months, had a few conversations which didn't really go anywhere, but made an instant connection with my partner as I knew he was different and looking for friendship too.

Of course it was then months of chatting online, almost every day, sharing big long epic e-mails with each other, asking each other questions, I knew he was special as for a shy person I was able to communicate honestly with him. But we took many other steps, we spoke on the phone, added each other on facebook, and then when we finally did meet I made sure I told my best friend so someone knew what I was doing, and made sure we met up in a train station which was in public. All of these things could be quite risky, but having taken the time, and only took these steps when I was ready to, it actually worked out really well. We've been together for over 2 years, live together and are engaged, and I think the emails helped as by the time we met face to face we already knew so much about each other.

My best friend also met his girlfriend online - and even though they had much less time between chatting online and meeting up they could sort of tell straight away. Trust your instincts when you're reading someone's profile or chatting to someone, if there's something off about them, or you think they're not genuine then don't meet them. But besides that online dating can really work out. I definitely felt online dating was important for me in order to speak to another gay person, and form a romantic relationship, I would never have been able to do that in another setting.

[FloatingPiano]

I personally think online dating has both its pros and cons. The pros being that it is easier to find people like yourself (for example, other gays), and it is a lot easier to start up conversations and be a bit more open. The cons of online dating is that, as previously mentioned, there is quite a good number of people who are looking for sex, which can become a dangerous situation. Also, there can be distance involved, which can lead to trust issues.

Basically, you just have to analyze it for yourself, and see if it would work for you. And I don't necessarily think it's more important for LGBT people to date online, even though sometimes it seems easier.

[TheEdend]

I'm just wondering if I'll have to treat it as a necessary evil in the future :/

You definitely do not have to. I mean, people used to find boyfriends back in the day where there wasn't any internet and being out was extremely dangerous. I'm pretty sure you will find someone

I tried online dating once and it just wasn't for me. Granted I did meet 3 guys who were pretty cool actually. None of them were social inept, weird or too ugly, but for some reason we just didn't click. Got a great connection out of it, though.

In the other hand, all my past boyfriends I have met without the need of online dating and they were pretty good relationships. Well, most of them


I'm not saying online dating sucks, but its definitely not a necessary evil by a long shot

[Hazel]

Online dating isn't all bad. I know a few couples who met online and are now living together or happily married - and they have yet to cannibalize each other. If traditional dating isn't cutting it (and LGBT folks might fall into this group), it's a viable alternative as long as you don't think you're signing up for an easy time filled with puppies and rainbows.

[Enaithor]

Originally Posted by TheEdend

You definitely do not have to. I mean, people used to find boyfriends back in the day where there wasn't any internet and being out was extremely dangerous. I'm pretty sure you will find someone

I tried online dating once and it just wasn't for me. Granted I did meet 3 guys who were pretty cool actually. None of them were social inept, weird or too ugly, but for some reason we just didn't click. Got a great connection out of it, though.

In the other hand, all my past boyfriends I have met without the need of online dating and they were pretty good relationships. Well, most of them


I'm not saying online dating sucks, but its definitely not a necessary evil by a long shot

I'm hoping that when I go to university there are more gay people than there are here. Just because I have no metaphorical pool of guys to select from
I think because I live in a very Muslim area? So obviously homophobic
And then there's a fair few racists because some white people do not take well to not being the majority in the area, and racism and homophobia often go hand in hand...
= NO HOMOS D:

[The Black Rabbit]

I've been doing a long distance online relationship for awhile now, and I've only just recently met this person irl. I was pretty shocked to see that their actual person looked exactly like their online profile says they do. But I have found since then that that is actually usually the case. Sure there are still those online that will lie and put up a picture of Hugh Jackman with the person's face Photoshopped in, but even though the general opinion of most people who have probably never dated online is that it's full of creepy predators looking for only one thing, most of the online daters are just people like you and me, looking for a meaningful relationship or even just a friend. Don't be afraid to do it, but really do be on the lookout, because even though I said a lot of the people are real, you can still sometimes get that creepy NAMBLA member or whatever who's just looking for a quick...encounter.