Having the guts to change FB info...

[Bi As A Kite]

...I really wanna tick the 'Men' box as well. Ideally so it doesn't appear on anyone else's news feed or on my profile, but the altered information is there.

But I'm scared! it might bring a tidal wave of piss in which I'll drown.

Anyone else stuck like this?

[maverick]

I caught so much shit for posting a "masculine" profile pic of myself on FB that I shut mine down entirely...

[PerfectInsanity]

I've been debating the same thing, mouse cursor hovering over the "Interested In" box. I know most of my friends will be fine with it, but a few might be homophobic bitches about it. I guess making the decision to check the box will certainly give you an idea of who your true friends are...

[Bi As A Kite]

---------- Post added 21st Sep 2011 at 10:29 PM ----------

[/COLOR]

Originally Posted by maverick

I caught so much shit for posting a "masculine" profile pic of myself on FB that I shut mine down entirely...

*gulp*

Just found out how to hide the orientation bit entirely. Dammit, I want a FB with everyone BUT family on't.

Originally Posted by PerfectInsanity

I've been debating the same thing, mouse cursor hovering over the "Interested In" box. I know most of my friends will be fine with it, but a few might be homophobic bitches about it. I guess making the decision to check the box will certainly give you an idea of who your true friends are...

There's complicated family stuff I can't/be arsed to go into as well. But now I;ve added peoples from extended family I can't just delete them for no given reason. I just want to subtley put the information out, you know? And so the gay guy on my coursse will MAYBE see it. Hopefully see it. Never see it. *Sigh*

[Nazo]

You can make it so only certain people can see it. Or so only certain people CAN'T see it.
Right now mine is set so only people at my university can see it.

[Heyitsme]

It might have been just me, I don't know, but alot of people don't even browse that section of other people's profiles. Hardly anybody noticed when I changed my 'interested in' to men.

[needshelp]

i don't even like facebook, myspace or those social networking sites anyway.

[Hitchhiker]

The interested in section is one of the first things I look at when I am looking at a nice girl I like's profile page. Mine is currently empty. :P

No one even noticed mine for weeks, It got me quite annoyed and thats then I did the whole 'I'm gay' facebook status. To be honest I don't even look there.

[Raeil]

I'm not sure how things work with the new FB layout yet, but I'm under the impression that adding an "Interested In" doesn't actually post to your wall or live feed. If that's changed, then people might notice without you telling them, but if it hasn't, then only those who go looking at your profile will notice. Personally, I'm waiting until my family is ready for my extended family to know, and then it's getting changed, and I'm also updating my status, the rest of my profile, and posting a note... yeah, I'm making a big deal out of it.

[Ghostly]

I did that once, but a few days later I took it off because I didn't feel I was ready

[thecat06]

I changed mine and nobody noticed it. It really does not show up on people's news feeds. They have to dig really hard for it.

[Bosco]

I have it set right now so that only the people I've come out to can see it.
Still have a few more people I'd like to tell personally/still not fully prepared to just let it sit there for the public.
Gradual Steps? : )

[Mad Man L]

Originally Posted by Bi As A Kite

...I really wanna tick the 'Men' box as well. Ideally so it doesn't appear on anyone else's news feed or on my profile, but the altered information is there.

But I'm scared! it might bring a tidal wave of piss in which I'll drown.

Anyone else stuck like this?

Been there, done that.

Firstly, you won't drown unless you have a ton of FB stalkers. And no, you won't drown. People will take a while to notice, and if they do, they more likely than not will have a care factor equal to or less than zero.

Secondly, hiding from your family. I do this as well. How to:
1. Make a list of ALL your family members who don't know you're out. Call this list "Restricted - Family" or something like that.
2. Go to 'Edit Profile' -> 'Basic Information'
3. Go to 'Interested In' and click that thing with the siluettes (aka privacy settings)
4. Type in the name of your Family list into the 'Hide This From' box.
5. Click 'Save Changes'.
6. Tick teh 'Men' box.
7. Click 'Save Changes' at the bottom of the page.

Now your family can't see your 'Interested In'. If you really want, you can go to your profile and remove the thing which has said that you changed your 'Interested In', although I doubt people will be that anal as to go and search for it.

I use my 'Restricted - Family' list all the time to stop my conservative Christian family from seeing me swear, finding out I'm an Atheist, bisexual, etc. When they actually find out... lets not discuss that.

[Remoteboy]

So does that mean that most people you know will be finding out you're bi (i think) on Facebook? I hope that everything goes well dude.

I don't even have Facebook yet but I'm gonna make one soon and I also plan put that I'm interested in men. I felt more comfortable telling the people I really want to know in person. The rest of 'em can find out from fb i guess.


Mmm I don't really even like the idea of Facebook but not having one makes me feel socially isolated as well as behind the times. Ah well.

[adam88]

When I checked the "men" box, a single person noticed. When I posted a status update outing myself, yeah, a lot more people noticed.

[British Lad]

I don't even list it, problem solved.

[TheEdend]

Like people have said already, you can put your family on one list and decide what they can and can't do. Get a friend to help you test it out or create a profile for it.

That's what I did and it has worked perfectly for 2 years now. My family and extended family only have access to one album and some info. They can't even see my wall since I don't want to have to watch what I say or not say. They also can't see my tag pics, relationships or statuses. Basically, they have me on fb, but they don't

[Bi As A Kite]

Originally Posted by The Lewder

Been there, done that.

Firstly, you won't drown unless you have a ton of FB stalkers. And no, you won't drown. People will take a while to notice, and if they do, they more likely than not will have a care factor equal to or less than zero.

Secondly, hiding from your family. I do this as well. How to:
1. Make a list of ALL your family members who don't know you're out. Call this list "Restricted - Family" or something like that.
2. Go to 'Edit Profile' -> 'Basic Information'
3. Go to 'Interested In' and click that thing with the siluettes (aka privacy settings)
4. Type in the name of your Family list into the 'Hide This From' box.
5. Click 'Save Changes'.
6. Tick teh 'Men' box.
7. Click 'Save Changes' at the bottom of the page.

Now your family can't see your 'Interested In'. If you really want, you can go to your profile and remove the thing which has said that you changed your 'Interested In', although I doubt people will be that anal as to go and search for it.

I use my 'Restricted - Family' list all the time to stop my conservative Christian family from seeing me swear, finding out I'm an Atheist, bisexual, etc. When they actually find out... lets not discuss that.

Done!

This is brilliant! Well-meaning family can't see it but people on my EC out status can, as can any nice guys I add! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

You just never know when that certain guy might be looking at that section of your FB, just to find out...

As usual, my eternal gratitude to all who responded.

[kiersten]

I sort of went another route, but then again, because I'm transgender, I felt it was easier. I have two FB profiles: my old one & my new one with the real, female me. I only add friends that I've come out to or our TG girls or genetic girls that are sympathetic towards women like me. This way, I know I can check my FB page & not have to worry about getting trans-bashed &/or gay-bashed when I check it. It has been so nice to be able to be myself on FB finally! And to be accepted there for who I really am on the inside. The only problem I've hit with this is that I barely check my old profile now, so I'm sort of behind all the time on what all my other friends I'm not out to are doing. However, I've been finding it as a little bit of an incentive to consider being honest with more people so I can add them to the new page, after careful consideration, of course...