Somehow, im fake?

i'd say that you don't have a very good friend. being in the closet does not make you a "fake gay", it makes you someone who's afraid of the world's reaction to your being gay, due to people like your friend.

you probably already know what my advice is gonna be: drop this "friend," or get him/her (you didn't specify) to understand why your not out. but remember, that no ones entitled to get an explination out of you. it's your life, and you should do it when you're good and ready (if you get to have a choice).

 

Agreed. Who you sleep with and who you desire to sleep with are private things. You are not required to broadcast them.

 

Your friend needs to chill out. You don't have to run around screaming "I'm gay!" to be considered a "real" gay (I don't even like using that kind of term but it was the only way to say it).

 

I don't think that's a good friend you have there. I'm sorry, but do straight people walk around publicly declaring they're straight? OK, sure the homophobic idiots do all the time, but for the most part, who people choose to be attracted to & sleep with is nobody's business, so why should it be any different for you or anyone else who's gay? I have absolutely no problem with people who are proud of being gay, but when someone chooses to harrass those who choose to be discreet or are still in the closet into being just as out & as much as an activist as they are, then sorry, you've lost me. Not everyone feels comfortable displaying their personal lives for the world & if your friend can't respect that & respect your decision, then maybe they need to find someone else to harrass, because your friend's behaviour is almost as bad & as damaging as people who harrass LGBT people because they are LGBT...

 

You're not fake, your friend just seems to have a proble with you not being a person who is extremely vocal about who you are & that you don't advertise to everyone that you are gay. You're fine, it's your friend that seems to be a bit insensitive. Just be yourself & if your friend can't handle it, then too bad! (*hug*)

 

Your friend is a jerk. Or this is just his way of trying to get you out of the closet. He's still a jerk though.

 

Your friend is the fake one. He or she is, in fact, the "fake gay" because any LGBTQ identified individual knows how hard being LGBTQ identified is and thus they're not a real person if they would say such a hurtful thing or pass judgement on another. It’s hard enough not being comfortable in our skin but how about when we’re around friends (or in this case, people we thought were our friends).

I don’t punch friends but this person doesn’t sound like a friend so I’d knock him.

If you want I’ll punch him for you, or if it’s a girl get my little sister to rip her hair out. LOL

 

Your friend is highly stereotypical/insensitive. Firstly, you're only just coming out, it takes balls to walk in public looking gayer than gay pride marches, because quite often bogans find gay bashing and the like quite funny.

Secondly, he's trying to fit you into a stereotype. You do not need to be a flamboyant/camp/femme male to be gay, you can be masculine, hairy and have feminine stuff and still be gay.

It sounds like he is trying to associate not fitting a stereotype or being closeted as being a "fake gay" - possibly even hoping you might 'become straight'.

 

I don't think you're a fake, but you're definitely a pretender. There is a difference, and I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it, I just think it's an unbelievably large amount of needless baggage to carry. I'm not throwing you under the bus or anything since all of us were pretenders at one point or another, myself included.

It's just a fact, but it's alright, because with time you'll eventually move beyond it. It's just a stage in your metamorphosis I guess, and I think he's being a total jerk by giving you a hard time about it.

 

I think that your friend is being ridiculous honestly. It's your choice to tell people about your sexuality, not his. I don't think it was very supportive of him to say that to you. Everyone comes out at their own pace (if they even want to).

He is being judgmental of you which isn't cool. You didn't have to tell your friend of your sexuality so he should feel lucky that you confided in him.

Don't listen to him, just be you.

 

People have no real idea that I'm bi anymore. I just lie saying I'm straight. So do actors though, so.... being in Hollywood I'm just the "classic" bi guy here. Of which, if 1950s Hollywood still maintains it's presence - there's a lot of.

 

I agree with Kidd: "Playing straight" does lend an artificiality to your life, regardless of and depending on the depth of your deceit, ranging the huge spectrum from just letting everyone assume that you're straight (lying by omission) to being in a committed relationship (like a marriage and 2.5 kids) with someone of the opposite sex, but displaying any homosexual behavior in complete secret.

So, having experienced the relief it is to be out of the closet, I would recommend it to any LGBT person. Not just for them personally, but also because visibility helps other gay and lesbian people. If you're a good person and everyone knows you're gay, you're one of the few gays or lesbians they know. And people might disagree with me, but I think every LGBT person has a responsibility to show homophobic people that we are not boogeymen.

But your friend sounds like a militant ass. Your love life is private and it's really nobody's business WHO you're dating, regardless of gender, if you don't want them to know about it.

Contrary to popular belief, people should be able to expect some level of privacy.

 

Pretty much this. No one should pressure you to come out if you aren't ready for it.

I will say that I disagree with the idea that sexuality should be a private thing, though. Your sexuality is much more than just the person you sleep with. Its about the person you fall in love with, the person you want to start a family with and the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Its not something that people expect to be kept private, so why are we the only community that is expected to keep it to ourselves?

 

You can image what you will get if you're out. DO NOT DO THAT!!!

 

Absolutely not.

I'm very closeted and have the extensive porn collection to prove I am definitely not straight. =p

 

Your friend is full of crap. You don't need to be out to be legitimately gay, and other gay people should understand how difficult coming out can be. Don't be pressured into coming out. You have to do it when you feel ready to do it. You're already apparently out to some close friends, so that's a start.

 

If your friend had any shitting idea how difficult this can be...