Want to dress/act gayer...I KNOW it's not necessary

[norcalboy]

Hey all, I KNOW that many of you are going to say, "You don't have to dress gay, what is dressing gay, we're all different," etc. I know that. I know I don't have to be anything but myself to be gay.

However, I've long admired men who have a more streamlined, flamboyant sense of fashion, from the boots to the jeans to the hair. Now that I'm out I really want to start dressing this way...I'm outside San Francisco if that helps, I really want to start dressing and acting a little more flamboyant because it's something I've wanted to for awhile and now that I'm out I want to pursue it. Any suggestions? I'm 23 and in shape so it needs to be age appropriate.

[Kidd]

Finally, something I'm an expert in. ^_^

First off, it's all about color and fit. You want to get the boldest colors you can possibly find, I'm talking highlighter and tropical colors, and the tightest jeans you can get on your ass--skinny jeans and slim straight fits. For shirts and stuff, you want to look for v-necks and a tight fit, and don't be afraid to wear a crazy print every now and then. If you find yourself thinking, IS THIS TOO MUCH? The answer is always no.

It's all about the proper accessories too, and that goes for everyone; boys and girls that are both gay and straight. Get your ear lobes pierced at Claire's and invest in some scarves. Think American Apparel, they're the one-stop-shop for the flamboyant gay man. They have really amazing stuff and their clothes run just a tad smaller than usual, so it's tighter, and that's the most important thing. If you're not being strangled you're not doing it right. Abercrombie and Holister are good too.

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As for everything else, get a pair of women's Ugg boots if you want but I think they're kind of passe now, and women's sunglasses. For the really sucky days, get a cute pair of women's rainboots if you want. I know flamboyant doesn't necessarily mean feminine but this is just to get you started. I'm speaking very generally right now. You're going to need a low-slung sneaker or a pair of converse or vans or something to wear with your jeans too by the way. If you want to bring it up a notch, think about a pair of moccasins or something but don't get a cheap pair because you'll regret it--go for the top shelf.

PS; For hair, you might want to try to find a style that has bangs and works for your face shape.

I don't know what type of body you have or anything obviously, but you need to keep in mind that you have to work with what you're given. Don't wear an insanely tight top if your tummy isn't flat or if you have moobs or something, you know? Don't throw common sense out the window.

tl;dr--Tight, bright, bold, and accessorize. That's your mantra.

[Owen]

I can't give any fashion advice, but I will say this: if dressing in a "gayer" way makes you more comfortable than dressing in a more heteronormative way, then no one has any right to tell you you shouldn't do that, or that you don't "have" to. From the sound of things, it seems to me like that's who you really are, and as you say, you don't have to be anything but yourself to be gay. That's true regardless of whether "yourself" is a burly tough-guy, a sassy flamer, or a regular-ol' average-Joe.

[Bosco]

If you're also leaning towards a slimmer, more stylish look that makes people question but isn't bright n' tight, you can try for a korean look 8D

YESSTYLE: Asian Fashion (Korean Fashion, Japanese Fashion, Taiwanese Fashion)
look up mens clothes from there. Just to get a sense of the style; a lot of it can be achieved with clothes from shops mentioned by Kidd like AA and A&F.

I guess it all depends on your own sense of style. Personally, there definitely is a line past which something is TOO much for me. So if you're looking into a more toned down metro look, give that link a whirl

When I feel lazy and feel comfortable in a hoodie and jeans, I like to throw on a rainbow leather bracelet.

[Zontar]

There's nothing hotter than a gay guy in form-fitting clothes. Remember kids, if it's form-fitting, it's form-winning.

Too bad I still have too much pudge to pull it off without looking completely ridiculous. =p

[Ridiculous]

Originally Posted by diddle

YESSTYLE: Asian Fashion (Korean Fashion, Japanese Fashion, Taiwanese Fashion)
look up mens clothes from there. Just to get a sense of the style; a lot of it can be achieved with clothes from shops mentioned by Kidd like AA and A&F.

Wow thank you so much for this website. Korea/Japan make the best clothes but I've only got a few from there because it's so difficult to find them in New Zealand. This site even has a currency option for NZD.. I'll have to look through it.

Originally Posted by Zontar

Too bad I still have too much pudge to pull it off without looking completely ridiculous. =p

What's wrong with how I look

[Zontar]

Originally Posted by Ridiculous

Wow thank you so much for this website. Korea/Japan make the best clothes but I've only got a few from there because it's so difficult to find them in New Zealand. This site even has a currency option for NZD.. I'll have to look through it.

What's wrong with how I look

Your "pudge quotient" is not quite as big as mine is currently. =p

I am losing it though!

[Bosco]

glad to be of help : )
i think they're actually still doing a sale for menswear (until the end of the week or something?) so that's pretty convenient.

And heck, it's not even fully about wearing clothes as tight as possible.
Like Zontar said: form-fitting.
aka the right fit and not 3 sizes larger so you can lowride and fit another set of your legs into them. :3

but to those who wear skin-tight clothing: all the more power to you!

[Zontar]

OH

For the record...

What's a good long hairstyle for gay guys?

[lowdownweather]

Originally Posted by norcalboy

Hey all, I KNOW that many of you are going to say, "You don't have to dress gay, what is dressing gay, we're all different," etc. I know that. I know I don't have to be anything but myself to be gay.

However, I've long admired men who have a more streamlined, flamboyant sense of fashion, from the boots to the jeans to the hair. Now that I'm out I really want to start dressing this way...I'm outside San Francisco if that helps, I really want to start dressing and acting a little more flamboyant because it's something I've wanted to for awhile and now that I'm out I want to pursue it. Any suggestions? I'm 23 and in shape so it needs to be age appropriate.

Thinnish scarves (ie: not enough to actually keep you warm) help too.

[norcalboy]

Thanks everybody so far. As for my body, I'm athletic and toned, definitely have muscle/flat stomach, but much more of a swimmer's build than a body builder.

I don't know how I feel about wearing women's clothing, I think I prefer a super stylish look that is more gay than feminine...I don't know if that makes sense, sort of like Brad Goreski. I also kind of want to act like him too (not modeling myself after him specifically, but that sort of vibe). All my friends are straight guys but I'm kind of itching to change my style and make some new gay friends that I can act more "me" around.

[Bi As A Kite]

Originally Posted by Zontar

OH

For the record...

What's a good long hairstyle for gay guys?

<====

And,

[Owen]

Originally Posted by Zontar

Too bad I still have too much pudge to pull it off without looking completely ridiculous. =p

On the contrary: even on a bigger guy, form-fitting is the way to go. A big guy wearing very loose clothing makes one think, "Who are you trying to fool?", because if you have significant pudge, you're not going to fool anyone, and even if you only have a little, people aren't going to assume the best about your body when they don't know for sure what it's like. Wearing form-fitting clothing lets people know that you are comfortable with your body (even if you are still working on getting there), and no matter what your body looks like, that's a whole lot more attractive than a look that says, "I'm ashamed of my body." Think of it this way: if you're a big guy, have two options:

1. Wear something loose that says, "I don't like my body," and confirm people's first impressions of you that they make based on your weight.
2. Wear something form-fitting that says, "I know what my body looks like, and fuck what you think; I look good!", and blow their expectations out of the water.

As they say, confidence is attractive on anyone.

[Revan]

All I can say is everything everyone else has said plus one thing. I don't think you should try to be normal, I think you should be you. But just be careful, while you're by California, being too wild could make you the unwilling target of haters. Just protect yourself from getting hurt, if it's just verbal hate though, brush it off like a speck of dust, but don't draw attention to yourself from physical haters, I don't want to find out you've been hurt. <3 Otherwise, enjoy being yourself!

[NickT]

Quick point to make though: While skinny jeans can be hot, be sure they don't constrict blood flow to your legs. A healthy leg is a sexy leg. ;D (No offense to anyone disabled)

[malachite]

dress however you want.

However I can give you much fashion advice since my wardrobe consists of jeans and black shirts

[norcalboy]

Today I got a pair of really skinny black jeans and some vintage buckle ankle boots. I have some white v-neck undershirts that are in good enough shape that I can wear them until I have some money to get some tighter tops...also shaved my chest so that I can wear the v-necks. Still stumped what to do with my hair for now, and looking forward to when I can have a whole closet of tight tops, skinny jeans and fashionable boots and shoes. I'm planning to wear them out this weekend to a place where I know I won't run into anybody I know so I can get comfortable with my new style.

[seeksanctuary]

Originally Posted by Kidd

Get your ear lobes pierced at Claire's and--

No, no, no.

If a person is going to get piercings, getting gunned is a horrible way to go. While a lot of people feel that they've gotten gunned with no issue, most have probably gotten infections and/or scarring without really realizing it; neither of those things are actually normal. There is a reason piercing guns have been banned in some areas, and why places like Claire's (and actually, Claire's specifically) are no longer allowed to do certain piercings. Sanitary issues are another factor; guns are NOT sanitary enough.

If I could tell you how many times people have complained about guns getting jammed and causing injury... uhg.

Take the time to look up professional, reputable piercing shops. These people will be the folks using hollow needles that are sanitized and CLEAN. It isn't that much more expensive, to my knowledge, and from what I know... once healed, they don't close up like gunned ears tend to do.

*can and will provide links if necessary*

As for hairstyles...

That depends entirely on the shape of your face. What sort of face shape do you have? Do a bit of research, come back and tell us, and we can help you figure that out. =P Long hair doesn't look good on everyone, especially if they are getting older and are thinning on top.

I don't know much about clothes, though, so I'll leave that to other people.