Discussion regarding the bisexual department

[IThinkInCircles]

So I came across an article about emotional cheating, and it lists 6 common behaviors that qualify as such:

• Flirting "harmlessly" with people of the opposite sex.
• Having lunch or drinks after work with members of the opposite sex.
• Discussing your work problems thoroughly at work, leaving nothing to talk about with your spouse.
• Sharing jokes and gossip with colleagues or friends of the opposite sex, not with your partner.
• Spending as much time buying the right gift for a colleague of the opposite sex as you do for your spouse.
• Sharing intimate issues with people other than your partner.

One of the ten pieces of advice at the end of the article is to "avoid friendships with members of the opposite sex."

Some of these scenarios, like the third and the sixth are quite clear. But it's also very obvious, by the use of the phrase "opposite sex" in four of the six, that this article was written with heterosexual couples in mind. I thought this would be good material with which to spark a discussion.

How do you think these limits apply to bisexuals? If bisexuals can find attraction in either sex, does their more diverse sexual orientation actually restrict them more? Why or why not?

Where do you draw the lines? Do you think this issue contributes to negative stereotypes about bisexuality? Does this make relationships with bisexuals more difficult?

Discuss.

[Mogget]

The idea of emotional cheating is pure BS.

---------- Post added 26th Sep 2011 at 06:42 PM ----------

At least, as it's commonly defined. Most of the "emotional cheating" behaviors I've seen described are just close friendship.

[TheEdend]

I can see how you can consider emotional cheating BS, but I do believe that there is a difference between a relationship and a close friendship bigger than just sexual attraction.

Now, that being said, I think the bullet points mentioned are pretty ridiculous. If you were to follow that advice then your social life would pretty much revolve solely on your partner, and that is just plain annoying to me.

As for bisexuals, I think it doesn't make any difference. Its ridiculous to try and get your partner, regardless of orientation, to stay away from every potential person he might find attractive. You either trust that person or you move on. Its really that simple. At least in my opinion.

[Mad Man L]

I find the whole thing of "Emotional Cheating" stupid. While someone may be intimate or share things with others, there's the "friends" category and "love" category. If you're concerned your partner may cheat on you, obviously you need to sort things out and realise that he/she is not going to find everyone attractive.

I (as a bi guy) like to tell my friends of both genders there is a line between friendship and relationship. And if I had a partner, they'd have to understand that. I also make sure my friends understand that, because I don't want my friends (both male and female) thinking I'm looking to fuck them.

In the end, it comes back to the stereotype that bisexuals (especially bi men) are just looking to jump into someone's pants and then find someone else.

But these opinions are based on the heteronormative homosocial/heterosexual idea that every girl he talks to is a potential "partner".

[Sharkattack2222]

My ex used to tell me that "You dont have to worry about me hangin out with girls. Nothings gonna happen. I'm gay". So since he's still in hs and im in college we both had our separate lives (which is good) which gave us plenty to talk about when we were together and didn't have to always be together though 24/7. My ex has all girl friends and started getting really friendly with this one girl towards the end of our relationship (because his best friend at the time and her best friend at the time moved away. They had that common ground). So then they clinged onto eachother, she started crushing on him, and next thing I know he broke up with me and started dating her a few weeks later. For almost a year that we were dating he always said he had no interest in girls (had been with them before before though). Is he going to do the same thing with her and leave her for a guy when one comes along? He's still in the closet so she doesn't even know about him which isn't fair to her.

---------- Post added 27th Sep 2011 at 11:31 AM ----------

Sorry im on my phone so I had to send the other post.

Anyways, I think that emotional cheating does exist . Even if it is just with a close friend, it could always lead to something more especially if the friend had no idea about the sexuality or current relationship status of the person.

Of course, this is only my opinion based on experience . Sorry for my ex, joining the "bi" stereotype. (that's if he really is "bi" and not just using her as a beard since people have accused him of being gay at school and it upset him. I mean when he broke up with me he said "I'm having mixed feelings" and than told me he's straight. After having a 10 month long sexual relationship with someone of the same sex. Ugh ok have a good one)

Sorry for the rant<3

[Pseudojim]

Originally Posted by IThinkInCircles

So I came across an article about emotional cheating, and it lists 6 common behaviors that qualify as such:

• Flirting "harmlessly" with people of the opposite sex.
• Having lunch or drinks after work with members of the opposite sex.
• Discussing your work problems thoroughly at work, leaving nothing to talk about with your spouse.
• Sharing jokes and gossip with colleagues or friends of the opposite sex, not with your partner.
• Spending as much time buying the right gift for a colleague of the opposite sex as you do for your spouse.
• Sharing intimate issues with people other than your partner.

One of the ten pieces of advice at the end of the article is to "avoid friendships with members of the opposite sex."

Some of these scenarios, like the third and the sixth are quite clear. But it's also very obvious, by the use of the phrase "opposite sex" in four of the six, that this article was written with heterosexual couples in mind. I thought this would be good material with which to spark a discussion.

How do you think these limits apply to bisexuals? If bisexuals can find attraction in either sex, does their more diverse sexual orientation actually restrict them more? Why or why not?

Where do you draw the lines? Do you think this issue contributes to negative stereotypes about bisexuality? Does this make relationships with bisexuals more difficult?

Discuss.

This has nothing whatsoever to do with sexuality: I think those rules are patently absurd, and born of an unhealthily jealous mindset.

What i really want to say is:

What a crock of shit. One should share anything one chooses with whomsoever they find spiritually stimulating enough to share it with, and i would expect that of anyone self-respecting enough not to bow to such archaic and insecurity-driven control mechanisms clearly designed to exert dominance over other human beings and their behaviour.

But i'll leave it at:

Whatever floats your boat.

[Jonathan]

I'm sorry, but I find all those bullet points to be completely ridiculous. If you would follow alll of those, you would basically have no friends whatsoever. Also, I view all those things as aspects of a close friendship, not a form of cheating. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is so needy and insecure that they feel that you shouldn't do anything like that with other people, then I think it's time to end that relationship.