Try to be feminine or masculine to attract the same sex?

[J Snow]

Okay, so basically the question is, if you are gay male and are trying to attract men, is it a better idea to try to adopt strategies that would normally help men attract women or that would normally help women attract men?

Disclaimer: I am already in a relationship and am not asking to help me come off as more attractive. It is simply an interesting question to me. Also, I know that all people are different and there will be variation. I'm more interested in the average.

Example: Perfumes are an interesting example. I remember being an... well a store for adults lets say... and there were "pheromone perfumes/colognes" which may or may not be bogus. The point is one was labeled "for him" and one was "for her." And I remember being like, well do I use the one for men to make me smell manly, or would I use the one for her that is designed to attract men?

What's bringing this up is I was just in my Evolutionary Psychology class and he was talking a lot about what makes a female attractive to a man and what makes a male attractive to a female. He was talking a lot about how men find big eyes attractive and all these other things (kind of the point of makeup) and I remember being like, well would the same kinds of things work to attract a gay man, or are you better off trying to look more attractive to females?

Again, simply a discussion. Not looking for advice lol

[zeratul]

Personally, I always find that the one for men is my favorite, and it turns me on. The perfume for women never turned me on before.

[J Snow]

Originally Posted by zeratul

Personally, I always find that the one for men is my favorite, and it turns me on. The perfume for women never turned me on before.

I am sorry, but when you say the one "for men" do you mean the one that men traditionally should wear, or the one for attracting men? I don't know why but I find that confusing.

[zeratul]

Sorry I mean the ones that men traditionally wear to attract women. I am attracted by it. I guess I respond to the male pheromone which makes sense since gay men respond to male sexual pheromones.

[J Snow]

I don't know, I understand where you are coming from Zeratul, but its still makes more sense to me to try to look appealing to men.

[chocobo236]

very interesting question..i really love the smell of men..i guess for me...anything manly that is used to attract female....also works on me...such as muscles..and leg hair..haha

[Cynicite]

Well, based solely on appearance, I like a guy to be tall and strong. I think I'd be more attracted to a guy if they smelled like a guy, though I've never smelled a guy who didn't so I can't say for certainty. I'd like a guy to be confident, but I don't think that's a gender based distinction.

[J Snow]

Well, my speculation is, some guys are into twinks and "femme guys," while others are into bears and "masculine guys" so I'm guessing it probably depends on the person. That's just my opinion. So far everyone in here has said they like masculine traits and smells though which has kind of surprised me.

Then again the guys that are attracted to feminine traits on men may be bisexuals that suppress their sexuality and wouldn't be here anyway... (That's kind of stereotyping in a way though I guess...)

[needshelp]

just be yourself and everything else will follow. i'm pretty much masculine and somehow i manage to attract attention from other gay men.

[Mad Man L]

I don't find interest in perfume, deodorant "which terns da bitches un!" (according to straight males) or other "scented" things.

Gay men (speaking to include all same-sex male couples, regardless of orientation) all have different tastes. But for the most part, your 'sense' of attraction is based upon how hot someone looks/is. But applying the case to hetero men, women don't solely dress up to impress men - it's more so to prove to other women how they're 'better'/discuss fashion etc.

Dressing up femme or masculine doesn't influence your chance of finding someone who thinks you are attractive, it only influences how easy/hard it is for someone to find out you're gay.

[sanguine]

i dont find cologne for men or deodorant like lynx or axe attractive at all, its repulsive, i actually quite like the smell of the perfume and deodorant the girls wear, im pretty sure im not alone on this one, but i sometimes do feel like it cause most of the gay guys i talk to online go crazy over masculine smells, especially the natural musk if you know what i mean, i just find it a turn off, mostly cause my dad and brothers and the gym smell like that, YUCK!!!

[Bi As A Kite]

V-neck shirts and jeans, both tight as a nun's....


...yeah. Sorry. It depends entirely on whether the person you're trying to hook is into twinks or he-men, as everyone else has already said here in better detail.

[Filip]

If I was having to smell a handkerchief soaked in perfume, I'd definitely choose a "female" perfume. By themselves, they smell much better.

On real people, however, I do prefer "masculine" perfumes and aftershaves. It usually harmonises better with the smell guys have by themselves, and if there is a hint of sweatyness, they actually work with that, instead of against that.

Also, to wear, I like male scents. They make me feel more confident than a female scent would.

Maybe the female perfumes are designed to attract straight men.... but I'm not a straight man (no matter how straight-acting my mannerisms)

[TheEdend]

A lot of the "feminine" and "masculine" things are just simply about gender roles. We just expect guys to smell more masculine and girls more delicate. Sweat is supposed to make us more attracted to the other person, yet you hardly see guys say "oh, I love that natural musky smell on my women!" That's because a lot of the things that used to work for us in the past, like being fat or smelly, just don't work anymore since we are now conditioned to like certain things on people.

More manly colognes aren't designed to attract girls. They are just designed to make you smell more "masculine" and attract whoever likes that smell may it be a guy or a girl. Reason why some colognes smell stronger than others. Its all about preference.

I think nowadays people are more attracted to personality in general. As long as you are true to yourself and do whatever you feel like doing then you most likely will have a person who is attracted to that.

[Danny19]

i for one dont like anything a woman will use to try to attract a man. If a guy was trying to attract me they would have to smell and look like a man. I absolutely love cologne. I wear and i always imagine that it would smell better on another guy...hugging me .. lol. i think its a huge turn on. However perfume for women to me is gross. it gets me dizzy and the whole sweet smel bleh. Theres some that i like but not to attract me or turn me on.

[Colton]

Well, I mean if a man is gay, they would like guys, right? So, naturally, I'd assume they would be attracted to something more manly than female perfume.

[Siesta]

Well I for one am Bi. And I am attracted to both perfume and cologne. I just like the very feminine smell and masculine smell, but i think I personally would lean more towards masculine. I would be the one wearing the perfume :P