could all my frustration that i geared towards women be because i'm gay?

[needshelp]

now that i think of it. i never made any active pursuit into getting any women a majority of my life because i just wasn't really that all interested in them. back when i was in my early teenage to mid teenage years, i guess i took out my frustrations that i had with myself and all, me not really having an interest in girls that much where i was chasing them around or going girl crazy, i guess i got confused and started to get all angry with women blaming them for what i wasn't going do or couldn't do (like them enough to get with them). i know if i geniunely liked a girl, i would probably chase her around but i guess i don't. so i decided to blame those women for my problems with myself. this went on to my adult years and now i'm starting to see it for what it is.

anybody can relate?

[Mad Man L]

No.

If anything, I have a tendency to be negatively geared towards hetero men (the more masculine/bogan, the more irritating).

It's probably because when I was bullied as a young child, a few girls acted like a mother figure towards me. Hence, the disposition for me to view (some) males in a negative light.

[TheEdend]

I think it can totally be a possibility. Instead of blaming yourself you blamed other women and were able to avoid the guilt for a little while. I did something similar, but at the time it was more geared towards my dad. At the time I believed that my dad didn't teach me how to be straight so it was all his fault. Got over it after I started accepting myself, though.

The good thing about things like this is that after you figure out what is causing it is easier to work on it and fix it

[canguy]

Needshelp, You never once stated your attraction, if any, to males. I could not be so certain to pin all of your issues on being homosexual. Sounds like you have a lot of built up anger towards females, that's for sure. But I think a lot of others could agree with me when I say my reasons for knowing my sexual orientation are built up of many different things but anger is not one of them. You might want to speak with a professional about it, that's all.

[Chip]

He's talked quite a bit about his attractions to males in numerous other threads.

But... to answer the OP's question... it's quite possible that when we unconsciously are aware that we have same-sex attraction, we unwittingly displace anger at the fact we aren't like everyone else onto the sex we aren't attracted to. This, in turn, provides a convenient way to support the denial of being gay. ("I just can't find a woman I like, therefore I've forced myself to like men, therefore I'm really not gay.")

I think it's great that you're understanding yourself in this way and unraveling all of these pieces that have been bothering you.

[needshelp]

Originally Posted by Chip

He's talked quite a bit about his attractions to males in numerous other threads.

But... to answer the OP's question... it's quite possible that when we unconsciously are aware that we have same-sex attraction, we unwittingly displace anger at the fact we aren't like everyone else onto the sex we aren't attracted to. This, in turn, provides a convenient way to support the denial of being gay. ("I just can't find a woman I like, therefore I've forced myself to like men, therefore I'm really not gay.")

I think it's great that you're understanding yourself in this way and unraveling all of these pieces that have been bothering you.

you know, it's weird because all these years that i've been in denial, i've put a lot of time and energy into women even though i wasn't that all into them to begin with. it's like i had no interest into getting with them nor did i have any fantasies, daydreams, infatuated or all into them as how i was to guys. in all the attractions that i had towards women where i wanted one as a girlfriend or whatever, i kind of forced my feelings towards them. the attraction really wasn't as strong as i made it out to be. i guess i was trying to validate myself by liking these girls. somehow i always happened to get attracted to a guy in the process of this so i guess my mind was telling me to wake up.

it's funny because i would complain about how i wasn't getting any women or why i didn't have sex with a woman yet i made no effort into trying to get one and when the opportunity arose, i didn't do what i was supposed to do. most guys that are really into women and want to have sex with a woman wouldn't hesitate to with one. i did. i would say that it had to do with anxiety but at the same time, these girls didn't make me go crazy in my mind where they made my blood pressure go up. i made tons of excuses into why i didn't have a girl, why i wasn't able to get i was extremely picky as well, i would just basically talk to a girl, wouldn't even bother to get her number and basically go the distance. funny how during those moments where i was talking to the girl that i probably could have ended up going out with or a situation which could have led to me getting laid, getting a date or whatever, i felt like letting her know that i was gay because i felt that i was forcing myself into a situation that i really wasn't interested in being. when the situation didn't work out, i would feel disappointed in myself and say "one day, i will get laid and get a girlfriend" when in reality, i felt uncomfortable getting with a girl and i felt a little at ease getting with a guy despite being afraid at myself. that's was what i wanted but i couldn't phantom the thought of being gay. i had built a whole entire mechanism around my denial that i had an attraction to the same sex.

i would blame women for why i couldn't get laid and etc when i was going overboard with it. i was like "face it, you're gay. that's the reason why you can't get with women. you don't like them as much as you think you do or believe. if you really liked them, you would have gone out your way to meet them or you would have felt the same way you did when you saw that guy over there where you just felt this urge to look at him".

i'm starting to realize that i am gay, it's that i've built so much shit up around denying myself that i still want to believe that i'm straight and i'm ashamed of being gay. there's no way of telling on the scale of how gay i am like the kinsey scale but i know that i'm gay.