Please help - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

myou725 · 6th Oct 2011, 08:25 AM

I have a friend who told me they were bisexual. I am bicurious, however I did not tell them. Since then I feel as if passes have been made and some I acknowlegde and some I don't. How do I tell them I have feelings for them without ruining the relationship?

---------- Post added 6th Oct 2011 at 07:54 AM ----------

Meeting with them today and set up because mentioned that I had something wanted to talk about with them.

myou725 · 7th Oct 2011, 07:27 AM

Can someone please respond to this post. I completely chickened out and need some advice on how to handle this.

malachite · 7th Oct 2011, 08:18 AM

The reality once you show interest, there is no going back. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

I'd say take shot

yumtime55 · 7th Oct 2011, 08:21 AM

in my opinion you should go meet the person and tell them how you feel. if the person feels the same way then you have luck on your side

myou725 · 7th Oct 2011, 08:28 AM

Thank you for the response. How would you say it? I blew my shot yesterday and it is cowardly and immature to do over phone/email/text.

He has come out to me as bisexual, told me how pretty I am, made comments that I view as passes. What is a pass one would give to someone they have an interest in?

starfish · 7th Oct 2011, 09:28 AM

This seems apropos

‎"I was in the parking lot with the key in the car, and I thought to myself, 'If this is my last night on earth, would I rather spend it at a business meeting or with this woman?' I ran across the parking lot, asked her if she'd have dinner with me. She said yes, we walked into town and we've been together ever since." - Steve Jobs

myou725 · 7th Oct 2011, 09:35 AM

Very appropriate. I sooo wanted to get out of my car yesterday and get into hers and blurt it out. I was frozen in my seat!!! We have talked since but I am not sure how to say this to her.

I think she has been dropping hints to me, but because my first attempt went horrible with another person...I am deathly afraid.

How do I know if she has been giving me clues all along??

starfish · 7th Oct 2011, 09:46 AM

First let me say that this physician needs to heal thyself. I understand how tough and scary it can be and have frozen many times. Though with practice it gets easier.

I have a saying, there's one way to find out. Just ask her out to dinner. If she says yes maybe something will come of it, if she says no you haven't lost anything.

**Chandra** · 7th Oct 2011, 10:28 AM

It's always very scary to tell someone you like them, especially if you've been burned in the past, and especially especially if you are working through your own sexual identity issues and have never approached another person of the same sex in this way before. I chickened out too when I was in the same situation.

You say you haven't told this person about being bicurious - I think that might be a good place to start. Tell her you've been questioning, and that you've been experiencing some attraction to girls (without being specific just yet). Gauge her reaction and maybe take it from there?

needshelp · 7th Oct 2011, 10:33 AM

go ahead and do your thing.

6th Oct 2011, 08:25 AM	#1
myou725 Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Questioning Posts: 13 Join Date: Oct 2011	Please help I have a friend who told me they were bisexual. I am bicurious, however I did not tell them. Since then I feel as if passes have been made and some I acknowlegde and some I don't. How do I tell them I have feelings for them without ruining the relationship? ---------- Post added 6th Oct 2011 at 07:54 AM ---------- Meeting with them today and set up because mentioned that I had something wanted to talk about with them.

7th Oct 2011, 07:27 AM	#2
myou725 Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Questioning Posts: 13 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Please help Can someone please respond to this post. I completely chickened out and need some advice on how to handle this.

7th Oct 2011, 08:18 AM	#3
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 6,480 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Please help The reality once you show interest, there is no going back. Nothing ventured nothing gained. I'd say take shot __________________ It's the 21st century, your bigotry is outdated. Either upgrade or go away.

7th Oct 2011, 08:21 AM	#4
yumtime55 sexyluv55 Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Straight but curious Posts: 1 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Please help in my opinion you should go meet the person and tell them how you feel. if the person feels the same way then you have luck on your side

7th Oct 2011, 08:28 AM	#5
myou725 Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Questioning Posts: 13 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Please help Thank you for the response. How would you say it? I blew my shot yesterday and it is cowardly and immature to do over phone/email/text. He has come out to me as bisexual, told me how pretty I am, made comments that I view as passes. What is a pass one would give to someone they have an interest in?

7th Oct 2011, 09:28 AM	#6
starfish This space for lease. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Hippie Town, Alberta of the US Age: 31 Posts: 2,109 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: Please help This seems apropos ‎"I was in the parking lot with the key in the car, and I thought to myself, 'If this is my last night on earth, would I rather spend it at a business meeting or with this woman?' I ran across the parking lot, asked her if she'd have dinner with me. She said yes, we walked into town and we've been together ever since." - Steve Jobs __________________ All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work. --Thomas J. Watson

7th Oct 2011, 09:35 AM	#7
myou725 Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Questioning Posts: 13 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Please help Very appropriate. I sooo wanted to get out of my car yesterday and get into hers and blurt it out. I was frozen in my seat!!! We have talked since but I am not sure how to say this to her. I think she has been dropping hints to me, but because my first attempt went horrible with another person...I am deathly afraid. How do I know if she has been giving me clues all along??

7th Oct 2011, 09:46 AM	#8
starfish This space for lease. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Hippie Town, Alberta of the US Age: 31 Posts: 2,109 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: Please help First let me say that this physician needs to heal thyself. I understand how tough and scary it can be and have frozen many times. Though with practice it gets easier. I have a saying, there's one way to find out. Just ask her out to dinner. If she says yes maybe something will come of it, if she says no you haven't lost anything. __________________ All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work. --Thomas J. Watson

7th Oct 2011, 10:28 AM	#9
Chandra Empty Closets Advisor EC Advisor Gender: Female Orientation: somewhere over the rainbow Out Status: Out to most people Posts: 782 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: Please help It's always very scary to tell someone you like them, especially if you've been burned in the past, and especially especially if you are working through your own sexual identity issues and have never approached another person of the same sex in this way before. I chickened out too when I was in the same situation. You say you haven't told this person about being bicurious - I think that might be a good place to start. Tell her you've been questioning, and that you've been experiencing some attraction to girls (without being specific just yet). Gauge her reaction and maybe take it from there?

7th Oct 2011, 10:33 AM	#10
needshelp really likes you Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: out to some, not family and friends though Location: in a closet near you Age: 25 Posts: 691 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Please help go ahead and do your thing.