Handphones on a Date

[Yuya]

Have you ever had encounters where you're on a date and your date starts texting or talking on the phone. Does that annoy you? What did you do?

I open this question to casual dates and ongoing relationship outings with your partners.

[Mogget]

I don't think I've had it happen on a date, I would be very insulted if it did. However, once I'd been with someone awhile, I don't think I'd mind too much if they texted, calls would be a no-no, though.

[Owen]

If we're just hanging out, or if he asked if I was okay with it and said it was important, I wouldn't mind. Otherwise, it's just rude, and I would take issue with it.

One of the troubles with texting is that it's a relatively new technology, and the etiquette surrounding customs usually takes people a generation or two to figure out, so there aren't any agreed-upon guidelines of when it is and isn't rude to text. My sister once found a good guideline for that, one that I use myself: if you're in a situation where you'd say something before going to the bathroom, like "I'll be right back" or "Excuse me for a moment", you shouldn't text. Dates are included in that category; you wouldn't get up in the middle of a date without saying a word and leave your date wondering where you went, would you?

[Danny19]

that would rude. lol. and i would do the same to them if they did that. i play the same game they play, i can just play it better

[chitoshi]

it would tick me off like crazy. i mean if we were steady and for a while i wouldn't mind it that much.

[Chip]

It may be generational, or it may be regional, but in northern california, a lot of people I know who are under 25 do this constantly and consistently, in the middle of conversations, during dates, and practically everywhere else.

If it's a multiperson conversation, say 4 or 5 people, and one is occasionally answering a text, I still consider it a little bit rude but I can understand it. But if it's two people talking, I consider it exceptionally rude, unless a genuinely urgent situation arises.

When people do that with me more than a couple times, I usually say something like "It seems like your texting is important right now. Why don't we just talk later." That usually has the effect of either stopping the conversation so they can continue to text, in which case, perhaps it was important... or conveys the message that doing both is rude.

I would put that sort of thing in the same category as being out at dinner with someone, talking to him, only to have his eyes wander for several seconds any time a new (presumably attractive) person comes within view. Some people apparently consider this appropriate and reasonable; I don't.

[Rooni321]

Oh that is just god awful! So freaking rude!
Idk what I'd do now but I used to be a little more crazy and I would be like 'WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?!' XD

[adam88]

If it's just a "Oh sorry, I'm just letting my sister know that I'm out." and then putting the phone away to focus on the date, then that's perfectly fine. Dates are supposed to be like texting, only with words, and face-to-face rather than on the phone.

[malachite]

that has never happened to me, and if it didn't I'd be out of there. That is rude as hell!

[Filip]

I've never been on a date, but I generally consider it rude in any circumstance to focus on your phone without making at least some remark beforehand.
It doesn't need to be much. Just an "It's work, I'm sorry but I really have to take this call" would suffice for me.

Texting, to me, is generally something you do when you have something to say but it's not urgent, so it's generally more of a no-no than answering calls.

Though it does depend. If my mom texts me , I have about 2 minutes to reply before she phones anyway to ask whether I'm still alive, so I generally do explain that to my conversation partner and go ahead with the text. No one seems to mind me doing that if I explain and apologise, though. It's 20 seconds of work that saves me from a 5 minute conversation afterwards xD

[Yuya]

Yea I notice that after awhile when a relationship becomes stable, people start to text in front of their partners without actually realizing what they are doing. Some partners mind, some don't. But we all agree that it's rude to do it

[Austin]

It's rude. I don't think I've had any official dates where the person does it. If I've dated someone a for a bit and we're just hanging out at home or something, I don't mind too much, and I'll do it on occasion, but never like THE WHOLE TIME ya know? Like responding to someone who txts you but not having a whole conversation... Even if you've dated longer and they completely ignore you to have a txt conversation without explaining why it's still kinda rude. I'd probably just go home.

[Gerry]

That is pretty rude. If I were out on a date and they did nothing but constant texting I would get the feeling that they were not interested in my company at all. If it were an emergency I could understand, but there are too many people (especially young people) who are constantly texting. I am guilty of this, but wouldn't do so on a date.

[Lexington]

I'm posting this at a restaurant with my partner sitting across from me (reading something on his own phone). After fourteen years, you're prettybmuch allowed unless it's a fancy dinner.

Lex

[downward]

Originally Posted by Lexington

I'm posting this at a restaurant with my partner sitting across from me (reading something on his own phone). After fourteen years, you're prettybmuch allowed unless it's a fancy dinner.

Lex

It' very nice that you have a long-term relationship.

For me, people can answer calls when we are talking, just don't do it a lot. But texting is not that ok with me.