Transgenders and Transexuals, I could use of your guy's help

well, I am not transgender, nor do I have any trans gender friends, but I would have absolutley no problem walking around with a trans gender who cross dressed. It's all cool to me, and it bugs me when gays make nasty comments about trans gender people. Dont let those other people bother you.

 

Maybe you just need to do some education within your circle of friends. They need to understand where you are coming from better. We welcome transgender people at PFLAG and I have really enjoyed getting to know them. I truly think that you have so much more difficulties than GLB people! None of the parents (or gays for that matter) have any problem with transgender folks. In fact, we went to bat for you all at the U.S. Capital on ENDA and it felt really good!!

 

i'm not trangender, but i'd just like to say i totally support you and hope your friends will get thei head screwed on sometimes soon! (*hug*) i think constrictive gender identities are such a bugger, i support all people who have the courage to be who they truly are. i also think that we are all some measure of both genders, just most people don't want to formally identify as the "wrong" one

as a side issue, i also *detest* the word effeminate! we don't have "emasculine"! :rolleyes:

good luck and welcome to ec!

 

I feel like I should be male and sometimes feel angry for being born in a female body. Luckily my friends know this, are okay with this and even refer to me as "Gari", which has since become what most people call me. I know some male friends are a little "iffy" about it (probably just because they're worried I'm more masculine than they are ). I wear black baggy masculine clothes, wear no make up (except for occaisionally black nail varnish and eyeliner), wear only masculine jewellery. I even went to my school prom in a tux!

I am sorry to hear that you've had problems with others about this, it's a shame that they who should know what it's like to face prejudice are prejudiced themselves. Unfortunately a male wearing feminine clothes is more "unnatural" in society than a female wearing masculine clothes. I myself wouldn't mind having a transgender as a friend, and I'm glad to hear that at least some people in your group aren't as small minded as the rest.

 

I'm sorry to hear that things have not gone well in your transition so far. I've watched several movies and TV shows about transexuals and it seems to be extremely difficult to handle internally when people are barely tolerant to homosexuality as it is. The important thing is to find a core group of people that do accept you for who you are and work from there. Otherwise, I would follow the previous advice and try to find a PFLAG in your area that can offer you support. Perhaps inviting some of your more close-minded friends to one meeting might help open their minds. I really do wish you the best! Keep up the fight.

P.S. to Arneneithel: There is a word opposite effeminate. It's emasculate It just has the opposite meaning though. Effeminate is a surge in femininity. Emasculate is a lack of masculinity. But I get what you mean. I suppose "butch" would be the closest term.

 

How dare they, I think that gay guys in particular should know better. I can't belive they wouldn't just accept you for who your are. You shouldn't listen to them. I don't understand and I think its really strange that the girls in ur group are generally more accepting. I think maybe the people who are embarrased to go out with u (which they shouldn't b btw) feel imasculated by someone who looks like them (male) but acts like a woman, because they must think that when u got out that ur being associated with them. I have no clue really and even if they had a half excuse nothing could be an excuse to treat u that way.

 

Exactly - I wouldn't have any problem hanging out with a transgendered transexual or whichever term you use =] People are people, you can get really nice people and you can get arseholes in any minority or majority group.

 

Transgender people really have to deal with more shit then any of us sometimes, and i've never truly understood it...since i myself am not transgendered. But i would have no problems being friends with you, or anyone transgendered.

I hear wisecracks from alot of my friends who are gay about Transgendered and it makes me want to smack them and say what makes you any better then any homophobe out there? you belittle a person because there different? what the heck are you? I mean i'm a very strong willed person but i have a problem showing my emotions to people that i don't want to lose as friends....but when people hurt others without thinking about how they are treated themselves and how it's different for them it's not.....

Equality is a Must......If we are ever to be treated Equal i mean "We're All In This Together" arent we???

 

my uncle is trans gender he identifies as a woman and is getting surgery .. i dont know why people make such a big thing out of it its not that different than being gay its gust in a different form your still the same person

 

Exactly.... i mean i wish i knew someone who wanted to transgender....i have a friend who i fell out of touch with but she identifies as a Lesbian but she recently started dating a guy who is just realizing he want's to live as a girl or did a few years ago, as far as i know she's completley pre-op surgery but i wish i could befriend them both again....

 

My Dear...
The LGBT community is not monolithic(meaning all the same), and Transgendered people(like you and I) can elicit strong reactions in people, gay or straight. When You hear those famous words; "well, I just don't get it" that means your gonna hit some turbulence. Some gay men view us as "traitors" who just "won't admit we are gay"(I've heard EXACTLY the same argument from straight women and men). I have a friend who is a Transdyke and she gets resistance here in L.A. bars from the butches who see her as an interloper after their femmes, while they seem to embrace some of my FTM(female to male) friends as heroes....
I have one circle of gay friends(mostly men) who, like me, gave up drugs and drinking for some time, and they adore me. I also belong to a trans group of the same type.
I always love it when someone says "are you sure?"
I say you have to be sure to put up with the :***: we do...the surgeries, the voice stuff, the learning curve, the job stuff....geezus.
One of my best friends from childhood who I was sure would "get this" just recently walked away from me disapprovingly: it hurts, but that's part of any LGBT person's coming out(that's why I'm here..I'm not completely out, either).
Hang with the ones who approve, ignore the ones who don't. I found I became much more assertive when I began to embrace who I was...I was a wimpy guy and I'm one fierce woman.
I could go on..but good luck, sweetie..hang in there.
xo Darya

 

i dated a Transgender she was the best person i ever met.... i dont see anything wrong with
Transgenders and Transexuals nothing at all half the time they are better people than most because of it ..

 

My BFF is TG MTF and obviously I'm cool with it. How could we NOT be cool with it, since gay people aren't mainstream anyway? People just need education.

 

I would have no problem being with walking with a trans gendered person.we r all beautiful people dont listen to the negative ones. If ud like to chat feel free to pm me

 

Wow, that's a shame. I recently went to an LGBT group for the first time, and I told them I was genderqueer and they immediately asked what my preferred pronouns were. I can't believe those gay guys where so ignorant, you think they would know what it's like being treated differently for being different.