Why?

[SammieG16]

Why do straights, AND gays, seem to hate bi people? I know not all people do, but I've been getting hate from both sides. I just wanted a reason behind it. Opinons. Advice. Anything.

[Hazel]

Even gays and tolerant people can have their heads pretty far up their asses.

[Sharkattack2222]

From personal experience, my ex broke up with me out of nowhere because he "didn't think he was gay anymore and was having mixed feelings and is straight now". He didn't even acknowledge that he was bi. (we were dating for 10 months) And than started dating his girl best friend nearly 2 weeks after we broke up. I don't hate Bi people, It just seems that if they are dating you, they might get bored and become more interested in the opposite sex or somethin while you are still dating. (which doesnt make sense because i wouldnt start being attracted to other guys while i was dating one).Maybe I was just unlucky by dating someone is still young and scared of being gay so he went after a girl that was interested in him to see if he could give a Hetero relationship another shot. I won't rule out dating someone who is bisexual though

[SammieG16]

the couple gays that did say something, said that being bi isnt real. that you can either be straight or gay, not both.

[Kerze]

some people see it as a halfway step on coming out; you tell everyone you're 'only' bi and then come out as gay when they accept you. Also, some people think people do it for attention, like girls making out with girls for their boyfriends.

[malachite]

people love having a: "us vs them" attitude toward people.
If you're not like we are then you're wrong. It goes even into people who have been hated and should know better

[DhammaGamer]

When I fantasize about sex with men, sometimes I imagine that I'm a guy sometimes a girl. When I fantasize about sex with women sometimes I imagine that I'm a guy and sometimes a girl.

I don't think sexuality is as cut-and-dry and some people try to make it seem. I'm sure there are definitely people who are full on straight and some poeple who are full on gay, but the rest of us ae somwhere in between (or off in space somewhere else entirely, which is how I feel at times :P)

[Sharkattack2222]

are there any members who claimed they were bisexual when they were younger and than as they grew up realized they were gay/lesbian?

[Tiny Catastrophe]

I know I've come across people (gay and straight) who had told me to "pick a team" when I thought I was bi. That's just how some people are. My best guy friend is bi and I have no problem with it. And what Concrete hands said lol

---------- Post added 11th Oct 2011 at 01:14 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Sharkattack2222

are there any members who claimed they were bisexual when they were younger and than as they grew up realized they were gay/lesbian?

I did lol

[Noir]

Maybe people don't want to believe it because it seems to them like you're just confused? "You don't really like both, you actually only like one and aren't telling us everything." xp How shallow-minded.

From my experiences, most of my female friends who are bi have only dated about one girl for every five boys they've dated. It doesn't mean they don't like both, but it makes them seem kinda superficial. (I'm definitely NOT saying this is the case for all or even most bisexual girls--just the ones I know at my school.) I personally dislike the idea of dating a girl who could be stolen away by a guy since I'm a lesbian, and I'll bet most guys hate the idea of their girl being stolen away by another chick. It's a pride-of-the-sexes thing.

[Sharkattack2222]

Or a gay guy who has his "gay" boyfriend breakup with him and start dating his girl best friend 2 weeks later. They've been dating for 2 months now. I don't think I'll ever get over this shit. If it was actually a bad breakup where shit went down I could learn to accept what happened. But, to have the guy who dates me for 10 months (who told me he was gay and when he did experiment with girls, didn't enjoy it) breakup with me for a girl hurts. Hope hes just in denial because of peer pressure and his family<3

"I need closure!!!" - sammi from jersey shore.

[DefineNormal]

Originally Posted by Sharkattack2222

are there any members who claimed they were bisexual when they were younger and than as they grew up realized they were gay/lesbian?

I think so... I just keep changing. I'm more gay than bi and I reckon I'll be gay when I'm older, but I think I like a guy at the moment so idk...

And I agree that the bi prejudice thing is because lots of us start out by thinking we're bi.

[Sharkattack2222]

im watching "true life : im bisexual" right now.

It doesnt help when one of the storylines is about a girl who was married to a guy and dating a girl at the same time and had to make sure they were both ok with it because she "couldnt choose". The guy ended up asking for a divorce and the girl and her ended their relationship. Now she's dating a girl and dating a guy and has to make sure they are both ok with it.

[MyDecember]

The confusion most gay people I know have is that while you say your bisexual you commit a heterosexual/homosexual act which means you are respectively heterosexual/homosexual. How does one commit a bisexual act? Must you only have threesomes with a member of each gender? no.

There is just no respect for the actual definition of bisexual these days. I hate it when I hear someone give advice to another to come out as bi in order to "lessen the blow". It is a great idea at first but the effect it has on the people around them and the bi community is horrible. It deliagitimizes the actual meaning of bisexual and precives it to mean questioning. Come out as experimenting, questioning or confused first, give it a year or two then when you're sure of it come out as bi. That would solve a lot of misunderstandings.

Originally Posted by Concretehands

Also, some people think people do it for attention, like girls making out with girls for their boyfriends.

I've seen that happen A LOT in my high school..

Some people just think you're one or the other and that there's no middle ground. People like to have concrete things to believe in and with bisexuality, there's a lot of grey area.

[Rinamir Mortem]

I wonder if it is to do with the image that is conjured. I may be talking absolute codswallop but I think that when one thinks of bi you think of the person potentially dating two people at once more than if you said you were gay or straight and, because of social traditions of not being with more than one person in a relationship, people begin to shun the bi community more than the gay community because of the potential for double dating and the sentiment on polygamy...

Any takers on that theory?

[Sharkattack2222]

I agree to an extent,

Bisexuality is sometimes looked at as a confused or questioning state, so if a gay guy was to date a bi guy, they'd be worried about the possibility of their boyfriend to one day wake up and decide they miss being with a women (or any other combination you can think of) and break up with them. (and if not breaking up, cheating) I want to be all the person I'm dating needs. I don't like the thought of dating a guy and finding out that he is fantasizing about a women while we are having sex or even when we arent having sex. That's just me though, maybe im selfish?

Once again though, I feel this way because I have experienced this because of my ex. Although if my ex is in denial and broke up with me to start dating a girl so that people would think he is straight, i guess that would be different. The only explanation he gave me though was that he was having mixed feelings about his sexuality and he is now straight. (Which doesn't make sense because a straight guy wouldnt have a 10 month long sexual relationship with someone of the same sex only to find out it isnt for them). So he'd be bisexual and not straight. (Or gay but in denial and something set him off.. only time will tell though)

[Rinamir Mortem]

I think anyone runs that risk of your partner leaving you for the other sex. Even if you are straight because I have heard of people who have been straight and then turn gay almost overnight.

Regardless, I wouldn't worry. If he is in denial he may be worse off living a lie. Or he may quite easily rebound in a few months and keep rebounding for the rest of his life. You can never be certain of these things. Until then enjoy yourself and stop running in circles. In my opinion, you are only going to cause yourself stress otherwise...

[Sharkattack2222]

I know there are alot of guys that get married and have families and than realize. Oh shit. I'm gay.

The ones I personally know though, repressed their gay thoughts and feelings from childhood and got married and had a family regardless of their true sexuality only to finally come out later in life because they cant deal with the pressure anymore. Everyone is different though.

Chances are he will rebound again (since he is having a rebound relationship right now and most of the time they dont last). He will either realize he is gay and made a mistake and come back to me, or rebound to another girl because he thinks he will be able to find happiness with a girl if he keeps looking for it. Since he's not out, i don't see him going after another guy, although if he does, it is because he is still in denial and will want the secret relationship to take place (if he came back to me, id know he was for sure gay whereas if he dated another guy, he could do the same thing to him that he did to me and never knew i existed). In fact, he told the guy he used to fool around with when he was younger that he was "straight". And than he dated me. sooo. He probably will just do that again.

you are right though, stressing over it does nothing. it sucks but time will run its course.

I thought of something else too. The fear of dating someone who is bisexual and of your same sex eventually settling for someone of their opposite sex just so that they can create a family the natural way. (Sort of the same thing as what we discussed earlier)

[Hazel]

Originally Posted by Sharkattack2222

are there any members who claimed they were bisexual when they were younger and than as they grew up realized they were gay/lesbian?

I would fall into that category, though to be fair I don't identify as 100% black-and-white lesbian. There's still a small degree of attraction to some guys, but it's mostly an "Ooh, kinky!" response to a few combinations of traits that might crop up. I have zero real interest in them physically or emotionally, which makes a healthy relationship with one pretty much impossible even though I tried for years thinking that what was essentially situational lust could be a springboard for real love and attraction.

It was a realization of very separate feelings towards the two genders in very different quantities, despite there being feelings for both.