No Gay Friends - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

robclem21 · 14th Oct 2011, 02:00 PM

just wondering if you all have lots, a few, or no other gay friends. Personally, I know a few people around here who are gay, but they are not really my friends who I talk to about personal stuff. Do you find a difference in talking to gay vs. straight friends about stuff? I think I would feel a higher comfort level having friends who can share similar experiences and thoughts as me both sexually and not. However, I can't really go up to someone and be like "are you gay? wanna be friends?" as I am still not 100% comfortable with being out to everyone (Also that's probably not very normal haha). Anyways thats all. feel free to share your thoughts

DarkClarity · 14th Oct 2011, 02:10 PM

I have friends but I don't talk to them that much. I don't have any gay/bi friends. As for talking about feelings and personal stuff, I don't talk to anybody about that irl.

Rooni321 · 14th Oct 2011, 03:00 PM

I have gay/bi friends but we don't speak about anything personal. Not yet at least haha.

Rinamir Mortem · 14th Oct 2011, 03:00 PM

Nope. I just need to get more in touch with the gay community in my Uni and potentially find someone.

crazyhead · 14th Oct 2011, 04:50 PM

I'm friends with a few gay people on facebook. But the only one I ever say anything to is my ex-boyfriend. We just keep each other up to date on what's been going on every once in a while. We've been known to talk about kinda personal things a bit. But not much. And aside from my current boyfriend, I don't hang out with many people often anyway. And the few that I do are all straight. But I don't think I would talk to a gay guy any differently than a straight guy... I'd still like a gay friend or two though.

TraceElement · 14th Oct 2011, 04:56 PM

I have a few LGBT friends IRL, but I only talk about "personal" stuff with one.

J Snow · 14th Oct 2011, 06:26 PM

Eh, not really. When I hang out with my bf, a lot of his friends are gay, and although I can enjoy hanging out with them sometimes, I still feel they are "his" friends and not mine. I have another "friend" who is gay, but once I came out to him I realized he was more of a friend's friend then mine. I really figured he'd be a big help and we'd hang out more, but it seemed like he distanced himself more afterwards...

Kidd · 14th Oct 2011, 09:29 PM

I have more lesbian friends than I know what to do with. Somehow I always find them, even when I'm not looking. I was so excited too because I met my first genuine bisexual this summer, and we're pretty close. The only gay guy I know on a somewhat personal level I actually hate, so...

I feel like I can be more open with my LGBT friends than my straight ones. I don't have to code words or edit what I want to say because they know what I'm talking about. Not that any of my heterosexual friends would judge me or not want to talk about something with me, but you know what I mean, I hope.

Adam · 14th Oct 2011, 09:49 PM

I don't really know any other gays, have many online gay friends but none in real life.

pronua · 14th Oct 2011, 09:56 PM

I know not a single gay person at my school.

steel03 · 14th Oct 2011, 11:10 PM

I know quite a few gay people at my school, but my friend group is all straight except for me. The sexual tension gets so old. I really wish I had closer gay friends.

Messed Up · 15th Oct 2011, 12:58 AM

I have a gay friend and a lesbian friend. They are not my best friends but I know I can talk to them (especially the lesbian) about LGBTQ stuff and crushes and stuff. My straight friends are my besties since Kindergarten. I can tell them ANYTHING... EXCEPT LGBTQ stuff...as they don’t know about me being down with dudes

LOL

J Snow · 15th Oct 2011, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Messed Up

I have a gay friend and a lesbian friend. They are not my best friends but I know I can talk to them (especially the lesbian) about LGBTQ stuff and crushes and stuff. My straight friends are my besties since Kindergarten. I can tell them ANYTHING... EXCEPT LGBTQ stuff...as they don’t know about me being down with dudes

LOL

I can relate to this quite a bit. All my very good friends are straight guys that know (or at least have heard from others) that I'm gay, we just don't talk about it. Then I have some less good female and gay friends that I can talk to about it, but I don't really feel like they are kind of on the boarder of friend and like "my friend's friend."

Yuya · 15th Oct 2011, 01:42 AM

I don't really have gay friends because the lot I know are from the internet. So where do you find these real life gay friends?

Chouchou · 15th Oct 2011, 03:19 AM

I don't have a whole lot of friends to begin with, and none of them are gay, but one of my friends has many gay friends whom I've met before.

As for talking about LGBT-related issues, the straight friends with whom I correspond the most are unwavering supporters, so I have absolutely no reservations. It's a huge comfort to me, knowing that that could easily not have been the case.

Morphim · 15th Oct 2011, 05:44 AM

I have three very close gay/bi friends. One of them is gay, the two other persons are either bi or lesbian, I'm not sure. All of my straight (and not-straight) friends are great and "open-minded" though.

malachite · 15th Oct 2011, 05:58 AM

I have a few, not many, I'm selective about the people I'd call a friend though

robclem21 · 15th Oct 2011, 07:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kidd

I have more lesbian friends than I know what to do with. Somehow I always find them, even when I'm not looking. I was so excited too because I met my first genuine bisexual this summer, and we're pretty close. The only gay guy I know on a somewhat personal level I actually hate, so...

I feel like I can be more open with my LGBT friends than my straight ones. I don't have to code words or edit what I want to say because they know what I'm talking about. Not that any of my heterosexual friends would judge me or not want to talk about something with me, but you know what I mean, I hope.

I know exactly what you mean. I have had a few straight friends kinda ask about what goes on, but then the second I start to talk about it with them, it makes them really awkward and so I kinda stop and don't really feel like talking about it with that undertone. So it sucks sometimes I kinda feel like there is nobody to really have those types of conversations with because I do like talking about crushes and fun stuff like that.

Rinto · 15th Oct 2011, 07:34 AM

Being general, I don't have any LGBT friends irl but yeah, I know some. Personally, I like having LGBT friends over the net more than irl because I feel more expressed in that way, but I dunno exactly how.

When it comes to feelings, I've always found comfort in my straight friends obviously because I have no gay/bi friends in real life but if I did, I guess I would have felt uneasy. I wished I had some though, so as we can share the same kind of thoughts together. It must feel nice

Allegro molto · 15th Oct 2011, 11:01 AM

I know a few people who came out after high school, but they aren't the best people to hang around, unfortunately...so, other than a few people on EC, I don't have any gay friends.

14th Oct 2011, 02:00 PM	#1
robclem21 Here to chat and make friends Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Sisters and anyone else who wants to know Location: Toronto, Ontario Age: 21 Posts: 88 Join Date: Oct 2011	No Gay Friends just wondering if you all have lots, a few, or no other gay friends. Personally, I know a few people around here who are gay, but they are not really my friends who I talk to about personal stuff. Do you find a difference in talking to gay vs. straight friends about stuff? I think I would feel a higher comfort level having friends who can share similar experiences and thoughts as me both sexually and not. However, I can't really go up to someone and be like "are you gay? wanna be friends?" as I am still not 100% comfortable with being out to everyone (Also that's probably not very normal haha). Anyways thats all. feel free to share your thoughts

14th Oct 2011, 02:10 PM	#2
DarkClarity Just a miserable pile of secrets. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 4 Bisexual. Out Status: Not out at all Location: England, UK Age: 17 Posts: 1,025 Join Date: May 2011	Re: No Gay Friends I have friends but I don't talk to them that much. I don't have any gay/bi friends. As for talking about feelings and personal stuff, I don't talk to anybody about that irl. __________________ I'm not a human being. I am merely a product of capital. I solely exist to carry out the will of capital. I will work, comsume and die all in order to preserve the status quo, to preserve inequality, famine, poverty and injustice, to preserve individualism and materialism, to preserve Capitalism.

14th Oct 2011, 03:00 PM	#3
Rooni321 EC's Hopeless Romantic Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: gay, str8, bi Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Francisco, California <3 Age: 17 Posts: 1,321 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: No Gay Friends I have gay/bi friends but we don't speak about anything personal. Not yet at least haha. __________________ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." Ernest Hemingway

14th Oct 2011, 03:00 PM	#4
Rinamir Mortem Brony in disguise Regular Member Gender: Gentleman Orientation: Me and my boyfriend are very happy Out Status: Ask and you shall find out Location: Worcester Age: 19 Posts: 205 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: No Gay Friends Nope. I just need to get more in touch with the gay community in my Uni and potentially find someone.

14th Oct 2011, 04:50 PM	#5
crazyhead flying away Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Texas Age: 22 Posts: 247 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: No Gay Friends I'm friends with a few gay people on facebook. But the only one I ever say anything to is my ex-boyfriend. We just keep each other up to date on what's been going on every once in a while. We've been known to talk about kinda personal things a bit. But not much. And aside from my current boyfriend, I don't hang out with many people often anyway. And the few that I do are all straight. But I don't think I would talk to a gay guy any differently than a straight guy... I'd still like a gay friend or two though. __________________ "Dyin' is the day worth livin' for"

14th Oct 2011, 04:56 PM	#6
TraceElement The one and only Full Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: Kinsey 4 Out Status: to most people who matter Location: Rochester, NY Age: 23 Posts: 455 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: No Gay Friends I have a few LGBT friends IRL, but I only talk about "personal" stuff with one. __________________ Carpe Diem- Grab life by the balls, one day at a time.

14th Oct 2011, 06:26 PM	#7
J Snow EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Sex - Male, Gender -Female/bigender/not quite sure Orientation: Primarily interested in men. Out Status: fairly out about sexuality, gender not so much Location: Des Moines, Iowa Age: 22 Posts: 1,391 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: No Gay Friends Eh, not really. When I hang out with my bf, a lot of his friends are gay, and although I can enjoy hanging out with them sometimes, I still feel they are "his" friends and not mine. I have another "friend" who is gay, but once I came out to him I realized he was more of a friend's friend then mine. I really figured he'd be a big help and we'd hang out more, but it seemed like he distanced himself more afterwards...

14th Oct 2011, 09:29 PM	#8
Kidd You'll love me! Full Member Gender: ♂ Orientation: ♂ ♥ ♂ Out Status: Out Location: N.W. Ohio Age: 21 Posts: 1,430 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: No Gay Friends I have more lesbian friends than I know what to do with. Somehow I always find them, even when I'm not looking. I was so excited too because I met my first genuine bisexual this summer, and we're pretty close. The only gay guy I know on a somewhat personal level I actually hate, so... I feel like I can be more open with my LGBT friends than my straight ones. I don't have to code words or edit what I want to say because they know what I'm talking about. Not that any of my heterosexual friends would judge me or not want to talk about something with me, but you know what I mean, I hope. __________________ I feel a hunger. Take my picture by the pool, because I'm the next big thing. Fingers crossed, my time is coming now...

14th Oct 2011, 09:49 PM	#9
Adam EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Posts: 539 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: No Gay Friends I don't really know any other gays, have many online gay friends but none in real life.

14th Oct 2011, 09:56 PM	#10
pronua Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: 1 person Location: Atlanta Age: 15 Posts: 87 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: No Gay Friends I know not a single gay person at my school.

14th Oct 2011, 11:10 PM	#11
steel03 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: mission accomplished Location: Iowa Age: 20 Posts: 480 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: No Gay Friends I know quite a few gay people at my school, but my friend group is all straight except for me. The sexual tension gets so old. I really wish I had closer gay friends. __________________ And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.

15th Oct 2011, 12:58 AM	#12
Messed Up EC Addict Full Member Gender: Dude Orientation: “Well, I’m a little BI-FURIOUS!" Location: The Marvellous Land of Oz Posts: 556 Join Date: May 2011	Re: No Gay Friends I have a gay friend and a lesbian friend. They are not my best friends but I know I can talk to them (especially the lesbian) about LGBTQ stuff and crushes and stuff. My straight friends are my besties since Kindergarten. I can tell them ANYTHING... EXCEPT LGBTQ stuff...as they don’t know about me being down with dudes LOL

15th Oct 2011, 01:42 AM	#14
Yuya Scout Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Friends Location: Melbourne Age: 27 Posts: 588 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: No Gay Friends I don't really have gay friends because the lot I know are from the internet. So where do you find these real life gay friends?

15th Oct 2011, 03:19 AM	#15
Chouchou Warrior Goddess Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Homosexual (asexual?) and mostly homoromantic Out Status: To some friends, but not to family Location: Wisconsin, USA Age: 26 Posts: 1,109 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: No Gay Friends I don't have a whole lot of friends to begin with, and none of them are gay, but one of my friends has many gay friends whom I've met before. As for talking about LGBT-related issues, the straight friends with whom I correspond the most are unwavering supporters, so I have absolutely no reservations. It's a huge comfort to me, knowing that that could easily not have been the case.

15th Oct 2011, 05:44 AM	#16
Morphim EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: ♂ + ♂ Out Status: All but family Location: Kerava, Finland Age: 18 Posts: 438 Join Date: May 2010	Re: No Gay Friends I have three very close gay/bi friends. One of them is gay, the two other persons are either bi or lesbian, I'm not sure. All of my straight (and not-straight) friends are great and "open-minded" though. __________________

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15th Oct 2011, 05:58 AM	#17
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 6,480 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: No Gay Friends I have a few, not many, I'm selective about the people I'd call a friend though __________________ It's the 21st century, your bigotry is outdated. Either upgrade or go away.

15th Oct 2011, 07:34 AM	#19
Rinto Balance Freak-ish Full Member Gender: Monsieur Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: My chosen people Location: Philippines Age: 16 Posts: 480 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: No Gay Friends Being general, I don't have any LGBT friends irl but yeah, I know some. Personally, I like having LGBT friends over the net more than irl because I feel more expressed in that way, but I dunno exactly how. When it comes to feelings, I've always found comfort in my straight friends obviously because I have no gay/bi friends in real life but if I did, I guess I would have felt uneasy. I wished I had some though, so as we can share the same kind of thoughts together. It must feel nice __________________ Be happy with who you are. When all else abandon you, at least, it's the being who'll love you the most more than yourself. So, never lose your smile.

15th Oct 2011, 11:01 AM	#20
Allegro molto Kyoufu wo oshiete yarou. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 6 (100% Gay) Out Status: Officially told 1 person! Posts: 2,334 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: No Gay Friends I know a few people who came out after high school, but they aren't the best people to hang around, unfortunately...so, other than a few people on EC, I don't have any gay friends. __________________ In the end, I always end up alone.