I would never forgive them..

I only have one true regret in life.

That I buried my mother while I held a grudge against her. Yeah I had a right to be pissed off, but in the end it was not worth it.

 

I'm a pretty forgiving person, sometimes to a fault; it takes a lot for me to really get mad at someone, and it takes a hell of a lot for someone to wrong me so greatly that I never forgive them for it. A grand total of two people have managed to do that. I don't dwell on what they did to me, by any means, but whenever something causes me to think about what they did (like this thread), I realize that I still resent them for what they did.

The first was one of my middle school teachers. My middle school was an alternative-learning school, and while I didn't enjoy it for my first two-and-a-half years there, in my last half-year there, I realized how much good they had done for me. They had taught me to go outside of my comfort zone, to challenge myself, and how to interact with other people, things my elementary school had been completely maladroit at teaching me. Now, I won't go into the details of what lead to this situation, but in the seventh grade, one of the teachers (with the support of all the others) pressured me to take a leadership position in one of the school clubs. It was while she was pressuring me that she told me this: "You owe it to the school, Owen, because if it weren't for us, you wouldn't have any friends."

In her defense, she wasn't far off from the truth. In fairness, she's still a bitch for saying that. It's probably the fact that she was a mean person in general that made me unable to forgive her for that.

The second person who's managed to overstep my ability to forgive people is my ex-roommate. At the start of the semester when we lived together, we were the best of friends. That continued until about two months in, when he started blowing up at me for the littlest things, like typing too loudly, or having the gall to come back to the room after he had fallen asleep (when I did, I would always arrange my nights so all I'd have to do is walk in, take of my clothes, and get in bed; minimal disruption). Our relationship deteriorated over the course of that month as he treated me worse and worse, and made me feel like I was the one who was in the wrong. Had I not found out about mid-way through the whole thing that his parents were getting divorced (which finally made his behavior make sense), I probably would have snapped before the semester was over and done something... inadvisable (in fact, several friends I told about this as it was happening told me I should have just beaten him up).

It almost came to that, even; before the semester ended, we had several shouting matches, and at the end of them, I always felt like beating the living crap out of him for how he was acting, because he just wasn't listening to reason. The last shouting match started when I was about to leave to meet a friend (it was around 10pm), and he said, "If you're going to come back after midnight, don't even bother." As if he had the power to keep me out of my own room. I ended up slamming the door as I left. When I met this friend, whom I had kept in the loop about all of this going on, I expressed the opinion that I was at my limit and that if he said one more thing to me that night, I would probably snap.

Well, I came back before midnight, and completely to my surprise, he apologized for the way he had treated me that semester. I accepted his apology, apologized for what I perceived to be my own role in the whole thing, and we made up. At least, I thought we did. We only spent one more day together, because I was moving out the day after because my last final exam was done with. I had the winter break to nurse the emotional wounds of losing my best friend and of being so thoroughly devalued by him, and when I came back and moved into my new (and current) room, after I no longer had to act like we were now cool, I lost all ability to be diplomatic with him. I realized that I hated him, that he had truly crossed the line of what I'm able to forgive. We're still not on speaking terms.

If nothing else, that month was a hard lesson in not letting people walk all over me, in knowing where to draw the line between accommodation and assertiveness.

 

Those people that wouldn't let me be a teaching assistant for the special ed kids in my elementary school and those people that made my life hell and appologized after I changed my look. Assholes.
But now I'm not sure. Right now a big problem with me is friends who leave with no explanation.

 

There is one thing that I probably will never forgive, or at least not for a very long time. This girl that I went to middle school with spread this rumor about me and my friends that I don't want to get into. I thought she was my friend. What she said made my life a living hell at school for 3 years, and was much of the cause of my depression at the time.

I haven't spoken to this girl in 3 years since the incident. I was put in an awkward situation at school the other day where we had to work together.She said. "Hi! OMG, how are you doing? We haven't spoken for a really long time since middle school, you know? We should hang out sometime like we used to"

I told her to go fuck herself.

 

I don't think anyone has done anything unforgivable to me. Though, the guys that threatened to drag me to death behind their truck come pretty close (but they never did anything but talk and they were pretty drunk so it's kind of hard to grudge a moron so alcohol drenched he's wobbling where he stands). I think I spend most of my time hoping to be forgiven I don't think much about needing to forgive others. Also, grudges take effort, I give up quickly.

 

I don't know what it would take for me not to forgive someone. I have forgiven my brother for abusing me, so I guess it takes a fair bit. I don't think I would be able to forgive my mother if she remarried to someone I didn't like, or if she sent me to straight camp.

 

I don't currently hold a grudge against anyone. I think it would take a lot for me to genuinely hate somebody so much as to not be able to forgive them for something they have have done or will do.

Maybe I've been lucky so far. Maybe I'm too damned nice to hold grudges or maybe I have yet to encounter a situation that warrants holding a grudge against someone.

Who's to say.

 

One person. Would rather not pull names out or say my relationship to them. But this person also walked all over me. I wish that I was as strong as I am now to tell him to piss off, but unfortunately I was too weak. If I ever see him, I would probably punch him. This is a pretty big thing, considering I'm of the most passive nature, and would never dare hit anyone. But given the circumstance, I can never forgive this person even though I said I would.

 

It takes a lot to get me angry. There has been only one person that I could not forgive and that was my ex-boyfriend. I filed rape charges against him, and I literally cried non stop every day for over a year. I was put on antidepressants, and went to counseling for over a year because of depression. It was the worst time of my life. To this day he still accepts no blame in anything. According to him, nothing is ever his fault. It's always somebody else's fault.

 

There are two people in my life I don't know if I'll ever forgive. One is the girl who spent the second half of high school emotionally crippling me, breaking my heart, my self-esteem and most of my friendships. I'm not going to go into detail because she doesn't deserve the time I'd have to spend thinking about it.

The other was and still is a friend of mine, but her actions led to me losing someone who was deeply important to me. She cheated on a girl who loved her completely and was the best goddamn thing that'll ever happen to her, and that girl (who became a close friend of mine, as well as someone I developed strong feelings for) ended up not being able to handle being around me any more because I was too much of a reminder. So that friend broke the heart of someone I care deeply about, and the results of that hurt me pretty badly too.

 

Im only hold grudges for like bad bad things. I havent had anything super horrible happen that i cant forgive someone.. all i can think of is the stupid kids in middle school and high school that made my life hell in school. but i get over it but if i would see them again i wouldnt be nice...but then again when am i? lol..

 

I hold grudges then I hold grudges. The latter are the ones which I don't forgive in a hurry.

I have two people on this list who I genuinely HATE, I generally say that when they die, I'll hold a party. And that's a promise.

The first one was one of a series of people who made my life hell on a 5-week camp. If it weren't for it being out of reach from civilisation, I probably would have just hopped on a train and headed back home and refused to return. But this person made it a special kind of hell. He was a douche, and unlike the rest, he's yet to grow up and continues to harass me about my sexuality and my "gay porn."

The second one was also on said camp, and threatened me with a knife. I've also found him to be one of the stupidest, most idiotic people I've met, not to mention while around him I've always felt 'threatened'. He is also friends with the first person.

Ironically, both people are friends with my (sort-of) best friend. We always joke about how our friendship makes no sense.

Aside from that, I havn't met anybody to hold a long-term grudge against. I did hold a long term grudge against a few people, but those grudges have just gone away in recent times. For me to hold a long-term grudge generally relies on me having a burning, passionate hate for said person.

 

One of my many fatal flaws is having grudges.... I had a purebreed great dane that cost me a fortune and also happened to be my best friend was intentionally run over and killed. I'm not going into specific details but after hours of research and examination I found who did it. If he ever comes to my property (I'm sueing him) ill probably end up shooting him in the leg with a delightfully placed shot of a .22 in the knee cap

 

Sethrowe stay kool...u make nice posts... The love in your heart is strong than the hate in theirs...my best friend told me this when we were 12.

 

I try to never hold grudges because they don't really help anything.

I think however the two people I'll never forgive are a girl from high school, and my aunt.

The girl basically acted like my friend for about a year and a half (during my Grade 12, and first half of my victory lap year as we called it). Then one day I just go up to my usual group of friends the anime/band mix and I can't recall what I said but she just basically told me to fuck off. I'm like wtf. And then when I confront her and call her two-faced because that's what she was, she posted the conversation on Facebook. I then find out a couple days later, after calling her out on fb and also reporting the note, that she made a fb group called "We Hate [my name] and it's Not Because He's Gay" (I often when I was coming out thought people would hate me for it and so I kinda was a bit cocky saying 'if you don't like it, too bad'). And when I found it I found at least 30 people from my school including this girl had joined it and basically had started ripping at me. I reported the group as did a couple friends causing it to get shut down. But I will never forgive her for being such a b*tch. The only other thing I regret is that I didn't report the FB group to the administration. After all, it was cyber-bullying and I could have gotten all 30 of those people expelled (my school board took bullying seriously). I only didn't because I was strong enough to myself that I didn't feel the need to ruin 30 different peoples lives by expelling them from school. But sometimes I wish I had reported them, because if it had been someone who didn't have the confidence I had then, it could have ended really badly for the person being bullied....

The other person I don't think I can ever forgive, and frankly kind of never want to see again even though I probably will have to this holiday season....is my aunt and her son. Basically this was the aunt whom I told I was gay, I mean I had told a lot of people including one of my other aunts, but this aunt and her son I really confided in. How I was worried about re-telling my mom, how worried I was about my future, etc etc. And she constantly reassured me that while Mom had a bad reaction the first time, she will eventually accept me the second time I tell her. Once I did tell her though...that's when shit changed. Oh they acted all proud of me and all that, but my mother wasn't thrilled that F (ill call her that and the son A) and A knew before she did because Mom was all "oh they would put you down, don't you recall that?" and I just was like "yes, but they still supported me in trying to tell you. But like I said...then it went wrong. Then F started telling my mother things, things I had asked her not to bring up. Like my trying out for 1 girl 5 gays, which my mom doesn't have a great opinion on which of course caused another blowout from my mom. Then A has the nerve to I guess deduce from me wanting to be on 1g5g that I am sexually active and to tell my mom that I have a sex life! Gay or straight, single or not, virgin or not, I never EVER wanted my mother to know I even had a sex life. It's none of hers or my family's business after all. So I told my mom that Alex must have thought my going for 1g5g was why I "must" have a sex life. But of course I cooled that whole thing down thank god but it's still ridiculous....and then because I mentioned to F that my parents were going to meet my boyfriend, she HAS to call my Mom and ask how it went to which my mom gets mad at me about telling F that they were meeting my bf whom she's not the biggest fan of his look (that's right, she thinks he's great personality wise, but she basically asked why I couldn't have found someone who looked like Prince William (who isn't that attractive if you ask me lol)) but yeah. She also decided to tell my mom how I said I'd really like to act (my mom is always "be practical") and apparently just because I said I really wanted to go into acting, apparently she used that as a way of saying "oh well your son doesn't need all this money for school anymore because he's going to go into something that'll get him nowhere so we'll take it all for A's med school and residency and blah blah blah". She seems to think just because A's becoming a doctor, that means he deserves all the money in the world... It seems F causes my mom to get riled up about everything...so now that we may wind up having to see her again come holiday time if we are going to have holiday meal with my grandparents...to be honest I swear to God I'm nervous as all get out because I feel like that is going to basically be a bomb going off. To be honest though, I don't know if it'll be my mom going off or me for betraying me the way she did.

So yeah those are the three people I will never forgive. Oh I won't hold a grudge, my aunt and cousin thought they were doing the "right" thing...for themselves...as for the girl from high school? Lol yeah I talked with her briefly a couple weeks ago. Turns out, she's still a b*tch, and what's more? She's still in my little pointless small town doing nothing with her life. So really why should I hold a grudge at her? She's doing nothing with her life and is going to wind up either a homeless woman or flipping burgers the rest of her life. It's karma, and that's what happens when you wind up cruel to someone.

 

i think its easy to hold grudges which last for any moment at a time, examples are the douche bag group of boys in high school who like to start up fights and think its "cool" to win a fight, or join in just for the sake of belonging in the group and call it "family"

with that being said, yes i do hold grudges, it's sort of a defence mechanism, makes sure i never affiliate myself with morons, and thus this same method allows me to avoid other things that i deem "bad"

i believe its part of the learning phase, how does one ever learn anything if they havent made a mistake, which in turn could lead to holding grudges or never forgiving? its only human, it just takes a strong person to hold out, forgive, then do away with the problem how ever they want.