Forgot how backwards of place I came from - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

starfish · 20th Oct 2011, 07:10 PM

So tonight I looked up something about my home town on wikipedia. I found a link to my old high school and was looking around the site.

I saw the dress code and found this

"NO Makeup allowed on boys.
NO earrings allowed on boys."

Sigh..... I forgot how backwards that town was.

Shevanel · 20th Oct 2011, 07:55 PM

It doesn't necissarily mean it's homophobic. School's don't want their students to cause distractions in the classroom. That's why some schools have uniforms and such.

Basically, I don't see the big deal, but that's just me.

starfish · 20th Oct 2011, 08:02 PM

Maybe I am reading more into it than was intended.

If you are going to have such a rule it should be enforced for all people. Earrings on girls can be just as distracting.

Thinking back when I was there guys could have 1 earring.

Porphyrogenitus · 20th Oct 2011, 10:29 PM

Yeah, I don't read that as homophobic. I read that as kinda sexist - if they need rules about that sort of thing, they should apply across the board.

midwestgirl89 · 21st Oct 2011, 12:21 AM

I don't know... I do see it as prejudice/discrimination. It's not right. I've always thought it was dumb that guys can't wear dresses/earrings/makeup to school but girls can. Back when my mom was a teenager she wasn't allowed to wear pants or shorts. Only dresses or skirts.

I wonder why we haven't also started allowing guys to wear "feminine clothing" or whatever people would call it. Yes, it is different for a guy to wear makeup or dresses. But different isn't bad.

I agree that if they aren't allowing guys to wear makeup and earrings girls should not be allowed to wear them either. The excuse schools use that it "distracts students" is crap. When young girls wear makeup they are also "distracting students" but where are the rules for that? I always found strict dresscodes to be ridiculous. Students get distracted all the time because they simply don't want to pay attention in class. I would get distracted by squirrels outside but I don't see them banning squirrels, lol.

In my high school a girl tried to go to prom with her girlfriend and was not allowed. The school was very strict about only allowing males and females to go together.

PerfectInsanity · 21st Oct 2011, 02:27 AM

Well, then I suppose they should ban attractive people too. They can be quite "distracting".

I wish schools put as much effort into educating as they do wasting everyone's time enforcing bullshit rules.

seeksanctuary · 21st Oct 2011, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shevanel

It doesn't necissarily mean it's homophobic. School's don't want their students to cause distractions in the classroom. That's why some schools have uniforms and such.

Basically, I don't see the big deal, but that's just me.

Then girls shouldn't be allowed to wear anything like that, either.

pikachu1 · 21st Oct 2011, 09:29 AM

I dont really see a problem with this. The thing I think the rest of you might be missing is that it is not "within the norm of society" for men to wear make-up and whatnot. Due to this if they did try to do this at school it could cause an incident. Saying that girls shouldnt be allowed to either is just stupid when they have been able to do so for the longest time. It sucks that there are double standards like this but I dont see any reason to get in an uproar over such a trivial thing that doesnt even matter to that many people out there.

Alex15 · 21st Oct 2011, 09:59 AM

My hometown guys couldn't wear button ups with more the 2 buttons unbuttoned from the top, and our hair couldn't touch the collar or a ridiculously high collared shirt they kept in the office. O and we couldn't have a single whole in our jeans. Mosst ridiculous, no flip flops... Because they didn't want us stepping on nails.... No construction has happened in this school in decades

malachite · 21st Oct 2011, 12:45 PM

Sometimes rules come from bad things. We had a fight in my high school and a guy had an earring that got tore out and his parents sued the school and yada yada yada, so it was school dress code that NOONE could wear earring that dangled or were hooped, only studs

midwestgirl89 · 21st Oct 2011, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pikachu1

I dont really see a problem with this. The thing I think the rest of you might be missing is that it is not "within the norm of society" for men to wear make-up and whatnot. Due to this if they did try to do this at school it could cause an incident. Saying that girls shouldnt be allowed to either is just stupid when they have been able to do so for the longest time. It sucks that there are double standards like this but I dont see any reason to get in an uproar over such a trivial thing that doesnt even matter to that many people out there.

But back in the 50's it was not within the norm of society for a woman to wear pants or shorts. That changed and now I can wear pants everyday to school. And it used to be the norm for young men to wear suits to school but that has changed too. I'm sure guys might get beat up if they wear dresses, makeup, etc but I don't think it's fair that they are singled out.

seeksanctuary · 24th Oct 2011, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pikachu1

The thing I think the rest of you might be missing is that it is not "within the norm of society" for men to wear make-up and whatnot.

Being GLBT isn't considered "within the norm of society", either, but here we are. So what if it's not the norm? It harms no one and saying that it's distracting IS a bullshit excuse, especially if it's a public school that doesn't have uniforms.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pikachu1

Saying that girls shouldnt be allowed to either is just stupid

... Thanks.

RaeofLite · 24th Oct 2011, 06:37 PM

Hm. My school had rules like, "No backs, no butts, no breats." in other words, keep covered enough.

Drowzee64 · 24th Oct 2011, 08:51 PM

This is why public school sucks. They'll ban anything out of the norm and cover it up by handing out bullshit excuses like "it's too distracting".

So glad I'm in a private therapeutic school now. They care about the stuff that REALLY matters.

Mad Man L · 25th Oct 2011, 04:47 AM

You're reading into it too much. Guys wearing earrings would get funny looks here full stop. No make-up allowed either, but for both genders.

Our school has a strict uniform policy. It's also quite ironic, everyone is quite accepting, yet it seems everyone is 'forced' to conform to social norms to some extent.

midwestgirl89 · 26th Oct 2011, 01:24 AM

I think the fact that so many people are okay with not allowing guys to wear earrings or makeup just because they would get funny looks or be seen as weird is surprising. Because I thought we'd be more understanding.

We know what it's like (at some point) to feel as if we have to change our sexuality because other people will look at us weird or we'll be seen as freaks. We want to be seen as normal, not as outcasts. And we don't want people to tell us to pretend to be straight because other people will look at us funny if we show our gayness. I don't want to be forced to stay away from anything gay because someone might beat me up.

Guys who want to wear makeup or earrings just want to be themselves, like us. And it's a cop out if rule makers think forcing guys to wear certain clothes is good just because they think it's protecting them. I have no problem with guys wearing makeup or earrings. It's sad that so many people think it's not okay.

MommaFrog · 26th Oct 2011, 08:00 PM

That sounds like my school... so glad i graduated....

every year for homecoming we had a "Wacky Tacky" day... then they made rules FOR tacky day like "No cross dressing" "No underthing outside your clothes" "No bedroom clothes, slippers, or pajamas"

Prom banned same sex couples....

So did homecoming....

And our one male cheerleader was constantly made fun of...

20th Oct 2011, 07:10 PM	#1
starfish This space for lease. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Hippie Town, Alberta of the US Age: 31 Posts: 2,109 Join Date: Nov 2008	Forgot how backwards of place I came from So tonight I looked up something about my home town on wikipedia. I found a link to my old high school and was looking around the site. I saw the dress code and found this "NO Makeup allowed on boys. NO earrings allowed on boys." Sigh..... I forgot how backwards that town was. __________________ All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work. --Thomas J. Watson

20th Oct 2011, 07:55 PM	#2
Shevanel One Is Light. One Is Dark. Full Member Gender: The Dude Orientation: Bi-Winning Out Status: Everybody and Your Mom. Location: Bolivar, Ohio (From NY though) Age: 21 Posts: 7,672 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from It doesn't necissarily mean it's homophobic. School's don't want their students to cause distractions in the classroom. That's why some schools have uniforms and such. Basically, I don't see the big deal, but that's just me. __________________ If there were no rewards to reap, No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here, I certainly would've walked away by now. Gonna wait it out... Be patient.

20th Oct 2011, 08:02 PM	#3
starfish This space for lease. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Hippie Town, Alberta of the US Age: 31 Posts: 2,109 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from Maybe I am reading more into it than was intended. If you are going to have such a rule it should be enforced for all people. Earrings on girls can be just as distracting. Thinking back when I was there guys could have 1 earring. __________________ All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work. --Thomas J. Watson

20th Oct 2011, 10:29 PM	#4
Porphyrogenitus Kalos Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: If you think of a spectrum... yellow/green Location: Brisbane, QLD Age: 21 Posts: 290 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from Yeah, I don't read that as homophobic. I read that as kinda sexist - if they need rules about that sort of thing, they should apply across the board.

21st Oct 2011, 12:21 AM	#5
midwestgirl89 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Interested in Women Out Status: Some people Age: 23 Posts: 559 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from I don't know... I do see it as prejudice/discrimination. It's not right. I've always thought it was dumb that guys can't wear dresses/earrings/makeup to school but girls can. Back when my mom was a teenager she wasn't allowed to wear pants or shorts. Only dresses or skirts. I wonder why we haven't also started allowing guys to wear "feminine clothing" or whatever people would call it. Yes, it is different for a guy to wear makeup or dresses. But different isn't bad. I agree that if they aren't allowing guys to wear makeup and earrings girls should not be allowed to wear them either. The excuse schools use that it "distracts students" is crap. When young girls wear makeup they are also "distracting students" but where are the rules for that? I always found strict dresscodes to be ridiculous. Students get distracted all the time because they simply don't want to pay attention in class. I would get distracted by squirrels outside but I don't see them banning squirrels, lol. In my high school a girl tried to go to prom with her girlfriend and was not allowed. The school was very strict about only allowing males and females to go together.

21st Oct 2011, 02:27 AM	#6
PerfectInsanity Now I know I'm living for who I am Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay dude Out Status: Most family & friends; more in due time Location: Arizona Age: 25 Posts: 161 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from Well, then I suppose they should ban attractive people too. They can be quite "distracting". I wish schools put as much effort into educating as they do wasting everyone's time enforcing bullshit rules. __________________ "You do what you love and fuck the rest"--Little Miss Sunshine

21st Oct 2011, 09:29 AM	#8
pikachu1 Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Family and Friends Location: Elgin,IL Age: 24 Posts: 110 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from I dont really see a problem with this. The thing I think the rest of you might be missing is that it is not "within the norm of society" for men to wear make-up and whatnot. Due to this if they did try to do this at school it could cause an incident. Saying that girls shouldnt be allowed to either is just stupid when they have been able to do so for the longest time. It sucks that there are double standards like this but I dont see any reason to get in an uproar over such a trivial thing that doesnt even matter to that many people out there. __________________ "It's all or nothing. There is no in between."

21st Oct 2011, 09:59 AM	#9
Alex15 Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I think guys are hot Out Status: Siblings, cousin, 3 others Location: Surrounded by the Old Repulican Vangard (Texas) Age: 22 Posts: 95 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from My hometown guys couldn't wear button ups with more the 2 buttons unbuttoned from the top, and our hair couldn't touch the collar or a ridiculously high collared shirt they kept in the office. O and we couldn't have a single whole in our jeans. Mosst ridiculous, no flip flops... Because they didn't want us stepping on nails.... No construction has happened in this school in decades

21st Oct 2011, 12:45 PM	#10
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 6,480 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from Sometimes rules come from bad things. We had a fight in my high school and a guy had an earring that got tore out and his parents sued the school and yada yada yada, so it was school dress code that NOONE could wear earring that dangled or were hooped, only studs __________________ It's the 21st century, your bigotry is outdated. Either upgrade or go away.

24th Oct 2011, 06:37 PM	#13
RaeofLite I've got the moves like Jagger Full Member Gender: ♀ Orientation: Sapphicly inclined Out Status: My closet is for clothes! Location: BC, Canada Age: 23 Posts: 3,111 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from Hm. My school had rules like, "No backs, no butts, no breats." in other words, keep covered enough. __________________ People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund (and the lesbians)

24th Oct 2011, 08:51 PM	#14
Drowzee64 Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everyone that matters except for extended family. Location: Houston, TX Posts: 114 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from This is why public school sucks. They'll ban anything out of the norm and cover it up by handing out bullshit excuses like "it's too distracting". So glad I'm in a private therapeutic school now. They care about the stuff that REALLY matters.

25th Oct 2011, 04:47 AM	#15
Mad Man L EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: All but family Location: Brisbane, Australia Age: 16 Posts: 1,244 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from You're reading into it too much. Guys wearing earrings would get funny looks here full stop. No make-up allowed either, but for both genders. Our school has a strict uniform policy. It's also quite ironic, everyone is quite accepting, yet it seems everyone is 'forced' to conform to social norms to some extent. __________________ I really should get a proper signature...

26th Oct 2011, 01:24 AM	#16
midwestgirl89 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Interested in Women Out Status: Some people Age: 23 Posts: 559 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from I think the fact that so many people are okay with not allowing guys to wear earrings or makeup just because they would get funny looks or be seen as weird is surprising. Because I thought we'd be more understanding. We know what it's like (at some point) to feel as if we have to change our sexuality because other people will look at us weird or we'll be seen as freaks. We want to be seen as normal, not as outcasts. And we don't want people to tell us to pretend to be straight because other people will look at us funny if we show our gayness. I don't want to be forced to stay away from anything gay because someone might beat me up. Guys who want to wear makeup or earrings just want to be themselves, like us. And it's a cop out if rule makers think forcing guys to wear certain clothes is good just because they think it's protecting them. I have no problem with guys wearing makeup or earrings. It's sad that so many people think it's not okay.

26th Oct 2011, 08:00 PM	#17
MommaFrog EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: All but family Location: Lake City, Fl Age: 21 Posts: 711 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Forgot how backwards of place I came from That sounds like my school... so glad i graduated.... every year for homecoming we had a "Wacky Tacky" day... then they made rules FOR tacky day like "No cross dressing" "No underthing outside your clothes" "No bedroom clothes, slippers, or pajamas" Prom banned same sex couples.... So did homecoming.... And our one male cheerleader was constantly made fun of... __________________ It's hard to answer the question "what's wrong" when nothings right. Maybe one day it will be ok again. That's all I want. I don't care what it takes. I just want to be ok again.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Where/What type of place would you want to meet your true love.	BloodyRose3000	Fun and Games	15	23rd Mar 2011 03:14 PM
A safe and warm place...	LorenzG1950	Chit Chat	20	25th Jan 2009 07:53 PM
So Excited about This Place	boy0boy	Introductions, Welcomes and Congratulations	21	21st Nov 2007 06:43 PM
Gay Youths Find Place to Call Home in Specialty Shelters	Paul_UK	Chit Chat	1	20th May 2007 08:24 AM
is there a place for me to go	teents	Chit Chat	3	28th Jun 2006 02:10 AM