"That's so gay" - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Rooni321 · 27th Oct 2011, 11:46 PM

So how many of you get offended when someone says
"That's gay" or "You're so gay"
Or any other form of the word that's not meant in a way that refers to someone as a homosexual?
Why or why not?

needshelp · 27th Oct 2011, 11:49 PM

i do. i hate the f-word and i hate when people say no homo as well.

Rinto · 27th Oct 2011, 11:50 PM

I'm not gay but I sometimes act like one out of too much joy, and pretty much get those really nasty comments. I get offended by that. The moment I hear it, I stop everything I'm doing and act like I've been scolded.

It's like my ego's being hurt or something like that. They're throwing words that aren't appropriate for something that wasn't exactly wrong in the first place....

djt820 · 28th Oct 2011, 12:10 AM

Anything can be said in good taste and bad taste.

fiddledeedee · 28th Oct 2011, 12:22 AM

If it isn't meant to hurt someone or in a derogatory way, I am mildly offended (depending on how I am feeling at the time). If it is, I will call the person out on it.

Ridiculous · 28th Oct 2011, 12:27 AM

Yes. But if it's being said in a way that it's an obvious parody, then I'm not offended (usually. Of course it depends on the person saying it).

J Snow · 28th Oct 2011, 12:31 AM

No homo bothers me more.

Its kind of a complicated reaction I have. I used to say it a lot myself. I don't get offended by the person because I know they have no bad intentions. I more just get upset that we live in a society where that is still the slang. Like even though I know the person has no bad intentions, its just a reminder that being gay is still one of the worst things you can be in society's eyes.

**Mogget** · 28th Oct 2011, 12:44 AM

I really, really, really dislike it.

Blkrsn · 28th Oct 2011, 12:59 AM

I'm blessed/cursed with an over-passive personality. You can call me whatever you like, and I really don't care

And honest;y, 'That's gay' doesn't bother me either XD My sister says it all the time, and I usually respind, 'Well, your blonde'

**Gerry** · 28th Oct 2011, 01:20 AM

I hate when people say that. It really gets under my skin.

Just Passing · 28th Oct 2011, 02:35 AM

I really don't care. Some of you need to grow a backbone if you get that offended by it, no offence.

Austin · 28th Oct 2011, 03:35 AM

I don't really care either... except in some circumstances....

Robert · 28th Oct 2011, 03:36 AM

Nope!!!

But I do realise that it has a detrimental effect on how ignorant people may view homosexuals and so I dont condone its use.

SammieG16 · 28th Oct 2011, 05:47 AM

only the f word really bothers me

maverick · 28th Oct 2011, 06:16 AM

"Fag" bothers me, "homo" bothers me. "That's so gay" doesn't bother me depending on the context.

Person A: "Prof is grading on a bell curve."
Person B: "That's so gay!"

Verdict - Not offensive, has nothing to do with gay people at all.

Person: "Is that guy wearing nail polish? That's so gay!"

Verdict - Obnoxious, and will probably earn the reply from me, "You know what's really gay? Being so insecure in your masculinity that you feel the urge to negatively critique strangers on the street for shits and giggles. THAT is gay."

Regardless of whether I personally find it offensive or not, I call people out on it, because it's a really lame way to describe something anyway. You couldn't possibly come up with a better insult than that? What are you, eight?

Mad Man L · 28th Oct 2011, 06:40 AM

Not offended, and don't care. I personally get pissed off by the amount of political correctness in society and how you can be sued for pretty much anything negative you say.

I may sometimes come back with a witty line e.g. "Like you." But meh, let people say what they want. I only will really fire up when a large amount of personal attacks are sent at me.

MommaFrog · 28th Oct 2011, 06:49 AM

I hate the f-word and the word "dyke" it seriously bothers me...

I used to say "no homo" but usually in the context of "OMG I LOVE her.... no homo...." now that I have realized I am a lesbian I have stopped using that term.

I was also a common user of "That's gay..." and have sense stopped. Hearing it doesn't really offend me, but i now think of the person saying it and ignorant and kind of stupid...

But seriously, Dyke upsets me.... my husband used to call me that in anger all the time, and I just kind of loose my temper when I hear it now...

My step-dad, whom I live with, is a huge fan of the f word... and it kills me not to say something... Me and my daughter have nowhere else to live and I cant afford for him to kick us out.... but as soon as we have our own home, I'm going to let him have it about his usage....

Tiny Catastrophe · 28th Oct 2011, 06:54 AM

Ehh I don't really mind it. My friends joke around and say "oh you're gay" and when I identified as bisexual my response would be "only half" but now I just say "yes, yes I am". And I agree with MommaFrog about "dyke". I really hate that word. My dad used to refer to me and my cousin as dykes because she is bisexual and he thinks that I am as well (haven't had the nerve to come out to him) so I just don't like it at all.

DarkClarity · 28th Oct 2011, 07:01 AM

I do think that it depends on the situation. I hate fag, homo, dyke, and battyman more though. Also when people say "no homo" that annoys me as well.

jimL · 28th Oct 2011, 07:05 AM

Depends on the context. Most of the time it seems to be in a negative light! I agree with some of the above posts. I really dislike homo, queer, fag. Those drive me crazy!!!

View Poll Results: Are you offended?
Yes	43	37.07%
No	16	13.79%
Never thought about it	4	3.45%
Don't care	17	14.66%
Depends on the situation	54	46.55%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 116. You may not vote on this poll

27th Oct 2011, 11:46 PM	#1
Rooni321 EC's Hopeless Romantic Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: gay, str8, bi Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Francisco, California <3 Age: 17 Posts: 1,321 Join Date: Oct 2011	"That's so gay" So how many of you get offended when someone says "That's gay" or "You're so gay" Or any other form of the word that's not meant in a way that refers to someone as a homosexual? Why or why not? __________________ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." Ernest Hemingway

27th Oct 2011, 11:49 PM	#2
needshelp really likes you Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: out to some, not family and friends though Location: in a closet near you Age: 25 Posts: 691 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: "That's so gay" i do. i hate the f-word and i hate when people say no homo as well.

27th Oct 2011, 11:50 PM	#3
Rinto Balance Freak-ish Full Member Gender: Monsieur Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: My chosen people Location: Philippines Age: 16 Posts: 480 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: "That's so gay" I'm not gay but I sometimes act like one out of too much joy, and pretty much get those really nasty comments. I get offended by that. The moment I hear it, I stop everything I'm doing and act like I've been scolded. It's like my ego's being hurt or something like that. They're throwing words that aren't appropriate for something that wasn't exactly wrong in the first place.... __________________ Be happy with who you are. When all else abandon you, at least, it's the being who'll love you the most more than yourself. So, never lose your smile.

28th Oct 2011, 12:10 AM	#4
djt820 Brutally Honest Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: DICKS EVERYWHERE Out Status: Like A Cock Slapping Your Face Kind-of Out. Location: SoCal Age: 19 Posts: 1,282 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: "That's so gay" Anything can be said in good taste and bad taste. __________________

28th Oct 2011, 12:22 AM	#5
fiddledeedee 22/12-31/12+X! Full Member Gender: Complicated female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Most, sans Dad Location: England Age: 15 Posts: 1,128 Join Date: May 2011	Re: "That's so gay" If it isn't meant to hurt someone or in a derogatory way, I am mildly offended (depending on how I am feeling at the time). If it is, I will call the person out on it. __________________ A problem should be measured not by the cause of the problem but by the consequences it has on a person. ~ Anfauglith

28th Oct 2011, 12:27 AM	#6
Ridiculous EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Friends Location: New Zealand Age: 20 Posts: 934 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: "That's so gay" Yes. But if it's being said in a way that it's an obvious parody, then I'm not offended (usually. Of course it depends on the person saying it).

28th Oct 2011, 12:31 AM	#7
J Snow EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Sex - Male, Gender -Female/bigender/not quite sure Orientation: Primarily interested in men. Out Status: fairly out about sexuality, gender not so much Location: Des Moines, Iowa Age: 22 Posts: 1,391 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: "That's so gay" No homo bothers me more. Its kind of a complicated reaction I have. I used to say it a lot myself. I don't get offended by the person because I know they have no bad intentions. I more just get upset that we live in a society where that is still the slang. Like even though I know the person has no bad intentions, its just a reminder that being gay is still one of the worst things you can be in society's eyes.

28th Oct 2011, 12:44 AM	#8
Mogget Mad and dead as nails EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 5 or 6. It varies Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Alaska Age: 22 Posts: 2,024 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: "That's so gay" I really, really, really dislike it. __________________ "As to what I am, I once was many things but now I am only several." - Mogget in Sabriel by Garth Nix "The world is quiet here." - VFD

28th Oct 2011, 12:59 AM	#9
Blkrsn Well Known Regular Member Gender: Transgender ( FtM ) Orientation: Since I'm trans, I guess I'm straight :) Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Canada Posts: 138 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: "That's so gay" I'm blessed/cursed with an over-passive personality. You can call me whatever you like, and I really don't care And honest;y, 'That's gay' doesn't bother me either XD My sister says it all the time, and I usually respind, 'Well, your blonde'

28th Oct 2011, 01:20 AM	#10
Gerry We're all a little mad! EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Las Vegas Age: 24 Posts: 5,551 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: "That's so gay" I hate when people say that. It really gets under my skin. __________________ "Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality".-James Baldwin

28th Oct 2011, 02:35 AM	#11
Just Passing EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Almost there Location: West Midlands Age: 20 Posts: 513 Join Date: May 2011	Re: "That's so gay" I really don't care. Some of you need to grow a backbone if you get that offended by it, no offence. __________________ Meh.

28th Oct 2011, 03:35 AM	#12
Austin Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Most people in my life. Location: Orange County, California, USA Age: 19 Posts: 1,790 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: "That's so gay" I don't really care either... except in some circumstances.... __________________ Can I sail through the changing ocean tides, can I handle the seasons of my life?

28th Oct 2011, 03:36 AM	#13
Robert EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male ♂ Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: World Posts: 971 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: "That's so gay" Nope!!! But I do realise that it has a detrimental effect on how ignorant people may view homosexuals and so I dont condone its use. __________________ "I am like a mirror that dares not be what nature made it, but feels obligated, always, to reflect what surrounds it." - Frederick II of Prussia. "England is a Prison" - Gerrard Winstanley

28th Oct 2011, 05:47 AM	#14
SammieG16 ClosetCreeper Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Whoever I chose to tell Location: Michigan Age: 19 Posts: 78 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: "That's so gay" only the f word really bothers me __________________ I Love. I Love who I fall in Love with, and I Love them truly and completely. If God has a problem with that, then he's no God of mine.

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28th Oct 2011, 06:16 AM	#15
maverick let watchers become warriors Full Member Gender: You tell me. Orientation: Hey good lookin'. wink Out Status: It's pretty obvious. Location: Alabama cue banjos Age: 26 Posts: 2,118 Join Date: Nov 2010	Re: "That's so gay" "Fag" bothers me, "homo" bothers me. "That's so gay" doesn't bother me depending on the context. Person A: "Prof is grading on a bell curve." Person B: "That's so gay!" Verdict - Not offensive, has nothing to do with gay people at all. Person: "Is that guy wearing nail polish? That's so gay!" Verdict - Obnoxious, and will probably earn the reply from me, "You know what's really gay? Being so insecure in your masculinity that you feel the urge to negatively critique strangers on the street for shits and giggles. THAT is gay." Regardless of whether I personally find it offensive or not, I call people out on it, because it's a really lame way to describe something anyway. You couldn't possibly come up with a better insult than that? What are you, eight? __________________ Shelter me oh genius words, just give me strength / to pen these things, and give me peace to well her wings / and oh, oh carry on, all you minstrels of the world, we will catch our lady's ear, we will win for us the girl.

28th Oct 2011, 06:40 AM	#16
Mad Man L EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: All but family Location: Brisbane, Australia Age: 16 Posts: 1,244 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: "That's so gay" Not offended, and don't care. I personally get pissed off by the amount of political correctness in society and how you can be sued for pretty much anything negative you say. I may sometimes come back with a witty line e.g. "Like you." But meh, let people say what they want. I only will really fire up when a large amount of personal attacks are sent at me. __________________ I really should get a proper signature...

28th Oct 2011, 06:49 AM	#17
MommaFrog EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: All but family Location: Lake City, Fl Age: 21 Posts: 711 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: "That's so gay" I hate the f-word and the word "dyke" it seriously bothers me... I used to say "no homo" but usually in the context of "OMG I LOVE her.... no homo...." now that I have realized I am a lesbian I have stopped using that term. I was also a common user of "That's gay..." and have sense stopped. Hearing it doesn't really offend me, but i now think of the person saying it and ignorant and kind of stupid... But seriously, Dyke upsets me.... my husband used to call me that in anger all the time, and I just kind of loose my temper when I hear it now... My step-dad, whom I live with, is a huge fan of the f word... and it kills me not to say something... Me and my daughter have nowhere else to live and I cant afford for him to kick us out.... but as soon as we have our own home, I'm going to let him have it about his usage.... __________________ It's hard to answer the question "what's wrong" when nothings right. Maybe one day it will be ok again. That's all I want. I don't care what it takes. I just want to be ok again.

28th Oct 2011, 06:54 AM	#18
Tiny Catastrophe Love is genderless <3 Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: 2 sisters, mom, friends, school Location: New Yorkish Age: 19 Posts: 863 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: "That's so gay" Ehh I don't really mind it. My friends joke around and say "oh you're gay" and when I identified as bisexual my response would be "only half" but now I just say "yes, yes I am". And I agree with MommaFrog about "dyke". I really hate that word. My dad used to refer to me and my cousin as dykes because she is bisexual and he thinks that I am as well (haven't had the nerve to come out to him) so I just don't like it at all. __________________ Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there. Because you cant remember a time in your life when it wasnt but then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong, only because its so unfamiliar. Then in that moment you realize you're happy.

28th Oct 2011, 07:01 AM	#19
DarkClarity Just a miserable pile of secrets. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 4 Bisexual. Out Status: Not out at all Location: England, UK Age: 17 Posts: 1,025 Join Date: May 2011	Re: "That's so gay" I do think that it depends on the situation. I hate fag, homo, dyke, and battyman more though. Also when people say "no homo" that annoys me as well. __________________ I'm not a human being. I am merely a product of capital. I solely exist to carry out the will of capital. I will work, comsume and die all in order to preserve the status quo, to preserve inequality, famine, poverty and injustice, to preserve individualism and materialism, to preserve Capitalism.

28th Oct 2011, 07:05 AM	#20
jimL I Can't Even Think Straight Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Sexy hot guys Out Status: Family, friends, work, anyone who asks!!!! Location: Oregon, USA Posts: 308 Join Date: May 2011	Re: "That's so gay" Depends on the context. Most of the time it seems to be in a negative light! I agree with some of the above posts. I really dislike homo, queer, fag. Those drive me crazy!!! __________________ Jim Learning to love who I am! And no longer ashamed to be gay!!!!!