Ok so I just recently accepted the fact that im gay... and I just met a guy who just might cut it for me, we met by mutual friends and decided to give it a try SO...were going out this weekend... Ive been on tons of dates but all of them with girls and to be honest im REALLY nervous about this I dont know how to handle it, what to do or say... Is it just like hanging out or what?? I feel like its going to be very akward? UGHH I dont know what to do.. How was your first gay date?
This is a really good question/topic, one I've been wondering about as well since I have yet to go on a date with a guy or have a bf... Personally, I'd try to cut the confusion by making the dating (and later relationship) more into a kind of intimate friendship where no one assumes the role of "the guy" in the dating... Just be yourself, let him be himself.. You don't have to pay the whole dinner and movie tab if you don't want to. Think of the first date as being an evening well spent with a friend (just as you would with a straight friend), with the only caveat being that you both know it could blossom into something greater later on...
We went apple picking and pretty much just talked while doing it. The main point of it was for us to get to know each other better in the context of having admitting our shared romantic interest. There's something different about an experience when you put the word "date" on it; it makes it more significant, more impactful, and you're usually more willing to open up to the person (in theory, anyway). Just say and do what you would normally say and do with someone whose company you enjoy; the knowledge that you're on a date will make the rest follow naturally.
Haha, good point Owen.. It's kind of like you don't need to remind someone you're on a date with them once you've decided to schedule the date.
On my first date with a guy, we just sat in silence as I drove to the movie theater. I thought turning the radio on would be too obvious. Too obvious for what? I don't know. But I couldn't do it. And then we sat at the theater with our arms touching and pretending not to notice. Then I thought that I would turn the radio on right away in the car after the movie. That way it wouldn't be obvious. (Again, I don't know.) But I forgot. We spoke a little. But barely. Almost 4 years and we're still together. I guess it went okay. So I wouldn't worry.
Although you might hope for dating to continue beyond the first "date", be ready for the possibility that the person you're pursuing might not be ready for dating and may just want to be friends for starters (maybe it might progress beyond that once you get to know the person as a friend). I asked a guy out last week and we went out to dinner last Thursday. Both of us are only a few months out of the closet (me 5 months, him 2 months) and have never been with men before romantically or sexually. This was also my first time asking a guy out (I had been on dates with girls in high school, but they were always the ones that initiated the dates). Although there was an undercurrent of awkwardness, we were able to have relatively good conversations. Halfway through dinner though he made it a point to say that he wasn't looking for dating with me and just wanted to get to know me as a friend. Long story short, be aware that there are numerous ways a first date can go. Best of luck though and hopefully your first date leads to something special!
