our parents - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

firemaker · 12th Nov 2011, 04:41 PM

Do you ever think that parents could make you more gay or the parents already knew that you were gay. And just trying to help us come out.

Rooni321 · 12th Nov 2011, 09:24 PM

Not my parents. Even though I'm trying my dammedest to make it obvious to them.

needshelp · 12th Nov 2011, 09:40 PM

honestly, i believe my parents have had their suspicions or they probably know to some degree but don't want to believe it. i remember back when i was 14 and i mentioned something about my disapproval for gay people even though i was going through an internal conflict with myself and my mom said something like "it's okay, you can be whoever you want to be" with a reassuring smile that hinted that she knew i was gay.

and my father i think either last year or earlier this year when he saw something on the tv about gay people or whatever. he said something about "you hear me, son. don't get involved with gay people. stay away from that". those weren't his exact words but he said something to that nature. i told him that i wasn't gay and why would he even think that.

starfish · 12th Nov 2011, 09:58 PM

I'm fairly sure that my mom knew.

Chouchou · 12th Nov 2011, 10:31 PM

I think that my mom may have had her suspicions, especially each time I told her I wanted my hair cut short, but my dad doesn't. She has asked me several times whether or not I was a lesbian, and I would say "no" each time.

TraceElement · 12th Nov 2011, 11:48 PM

I think my mom had her suspicions, but never asked until after I went to the pride parade. I made it pretty obvious to my dad, but he never asked, but probaby suspected a little.

SA Boy · 13th Nov 2011, 02:36 AM

I really have no idea if they know i am not straight, i try to drop hints but they are all fairly subtle. When i was younger i was quite feminine so maybe they do know. Thinking about it my mum probably does know because she asked me for fashion advice a few times but i replied by saying "how would i know?" etc.

caughtbywitness · 13th Nov 2011, 03:42 AM

They didn't. Have to repeatedly remind them for a while but now they've got the gist.

Some parents do though, I remember Jodi Picoult saying she knew her son was. (:

Rinto · 13th Nov 2011, 04:02 AM

They had suspicions from since when I was young. My mom never though I actually was bi when I came out to her, somehow indirectly.^^ I'm not trying to make it so obvious; I still wanna act all straight.

Daisy1 · 13th Nov 2011, 04:12 AM

I hope my parents know, but I think I've just been reading too much into some of the things they've said.

Also, they seem to think my sister may be gay, which is interesting...

firemaker · 13th Nov 2011, 07:47 AM

My mother I think she knew, when I was looking for a mate, she said I think you should keep the males friends, maybe u should have a life partner. But everytime I left a relationship saying I am going lesbian now. The first few times they said you don't want to do that. Now its just whatever makes you happy

thecat06 · 13th Nov 2011, 01:06 PM

My parents knew that I was different, they just were not sure how. I was not like the normal girls that enjoyed to do girl things, I instead enjoyed to play with the guys toys. I also hated to dress like a girl. The thing that threw them off was that I love my long hair (although I really need to get it cut because now it's getting too long..)

Mimerio · 13th Nov 2011, 01:09 PM

Hmmm, I think they have had suspicions, or they are waiting for me to confirm said suspicions, my mother especially.

kellymporta · 13th Nov 2011, 01:20 PM

I think my mom has her suspicions because she has asked me several times about why I've never had a girlfriend and if I like girls or boys.

Alex15 · 14th Nov 2011, 06:49 AM

I think my parents know, Dad probably doesn't want to admit it to himself, and my mom is so religious she thought I turned atheist because I took a biology class... So yes, her close ties to Christianity have probably already made her decision on whether or not she would be accepting or not for her. Sometimes I just wish I could tell them! But there is know way I'd be able to know what their reactions would be like, they are so hard to read!

**Lexington** · 14th Nov 2011, 08:03 AM

My parents were mildly surprised if not shocked. But they always have been supportive, and they didn't let me down in this case, either.

Lex

Allegro molto · 14th Nov 2011, 08:07 AM

I think my mother knows and that she's in denial. She even asked me before (I said no). As for the "trying to make you more gay so you'll come out" deal, yeah, no. She basically does the opposite...she tries/has tried to mold me into the "emotionless, hard, take-charge, macho stereotypical Black man" role... She's extremely homophobic, and I overheard a telephone conversation one night with her and one of her sisters saying she'd be heartbroken if one of her kids turned out to be gay. Oh, well.

Aeon Magus · 14th Nov 2011, 08:08 AM

My mom was oblivious to who I really am. And she wasn't supportive at first, either. As time went on, she did, however. Ahhh... good ol' granma. Hahaha!!

midwestgirl89 · 14th Nov 2011, 08:56 PM

My mom said she knew but only because I was in a bad depression after going through a (pretty much) break-up and after being outed at school. She was okay with it but just said it would be a harder life.

She didn't have any clues before the depression though.

12th Nov 2011, 04:41 PM	#1
firemaker confused Full Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: Questioning Out Status: A few people Location: Pittsfield Maine Age: 28 Posts: 145 Join Date: Oct 2011	our parents Do you ever think that parents could make you more gay or the parents already knew that you were gay. And just trying to help us come out. __________________ . If everyone was the same, and everyone liked each. Then this world wouldnot be here.

12th Nov 2011, 09:24 PM	#2
Rooni321 EC's Hopeless Romantic Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: gay, str8, bi Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Francisco, California <3 Age: 17 Posts: 1,321 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: our parents Not my parents. Even though I'm trying my dammedest to make it obvious to them. __________________ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially." Ernest Hemingway

12th Nov 2011, 09:40 PM	#3
needshelp really likes you Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: out to some, not family and friends though Location: in a closet near you Age: 25 Posts: 691 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: our parents honestly, i believe my parents have had their suspicions or they probably know to some degree but don't want to believe it. i remember back when i was 14 and i mentioned something about my disapproval for gay people even though i was going through an internal conflict with myself and my mom said something like "it's okay, you can be whoever you want to be" with a reassuring smile that hinted that she knew i was gay. and my father i think either last year or earlier this year when he saw something on the tv about gay people or whatever. he said something about "you hear me, son. don't get involved with gay people. stay away from that". those weren't his exact words but he said something to that nature. i told him that i wasn't gay and why would he even think that.

12th Nov 2011, 09:58 PM	#4
starfish This space for lease. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Hippie Town, Alberta of the US Age: 31 Posts: 2,109 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: our parents I'm fairly sure that my mom knew. __________________ All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work. --Thomas J. Watson

12th Nov 2011, 10:31 PM	#5
Chouchou Warrior Goddess Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Homosexual (asexual?) and mostly homoromantic Out Status: To some friends, but not to family Location: Wisconsin, USA Age: 26 Posts: 1,109 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: our parents I think that my mom may have had her suspicions, especially each time I told her I wanted my hair cut short, but my dad doesn't. She has asked me several times whether or not I was a lesbian, and I would say "no" each time. __________________ "The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers." -- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

12th Nov 2011, 11:48 PM	#6
TraceElement The one and only Full Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: Kinsey 4 Out Status: to most people who matter Location: Rochester, NY Age: 23 Posts: 455 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: our parents I think my mom had her suspicions, but never asked until after I went to the pride parade. I made it pretty obvious to my dad, but he never asked, but probaby suspected a little. __________________ Carpe Diem- Grab life by the balls, one day at a time.

13th Nov 2011, 02:36 AM	#7
SA Boy Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: UK Age: 16 Posts: 49 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: our parents I really have no idea if they know i am not straight, i try to drop hints but they are all fairly subtle. When i was younger i was quite feminine so maybe they do know. Thinking about it my mum probably does know because she asked me for fashion advice a few times but i replied by saying "how would i know?" etc.

13th Nov 2011, 03:42 AM	#8
caughtbywitness Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I really don't know anymore Out Status: Most people (: Location: Shropshire Age: 16 Posts: 131 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: our parents They didn't. Have to repeatedly remind them for a while but now they've got the gist. Some parents do though, I remember Jodi Picoult saying she knew her son was. (:

13th Nov 2011, 04:02 AM	#9
Rinto Balance Freak-ish Full Member Gender: Monsieur Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: My chosen people Location: Philippines Age: 16 Posts: 480 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: our parents They had suspicions from since when I was young. My mom never though I actually was bi when I came out to her, somehow indirectly.^^ I'm not trying to make it so obvious; I still wanna act all straight. __________________ Be happy with who you are. When all else abandon you, at least, it's the being who'll love you the most more than yourself. So, never lose your smile.

13th Nov 2011, 04:12 AM	#10
Daisy1 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Girls Out Status: Pretty much out! Location: East Coast Age: 26 Posts: 307 Join Date: Aug 2011	Re: our parents I hope my parents know, but I think I've just been reading too much into some of the things they've said. Also, they seem to think my sister may be gay, which is interesting...

13th Nov 2011, 07:47 AM	#11
firemaker confused Full Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: Questioning Out Status: A few people Location: Pittsfield Maine Age: 28 Posts: 145 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: our parents My mother I think she knew, when I was looking for a mate, she said I think you should keep the males friends, maybe u should have a life partner. But everytime I left a relationship saying I am going lesbian now. The first few times they said you don't want to do that. Now its just whatever makes you happy __________________ . If everyone was the same, and everyone liked each. Then this world wouldnot be here.

13th Nov 2011, 01:06 PM	#12
thecat06 EC's Biggest LNJF and SNL fan!! Full Member Gender: Let's say Pangender! Orientation: Let's say gay!! Out Status: Out to parents, campus, and 75 friends on facebook Location: Central and Northern Ohio Age: 19 Posts: 2,504 Join Date: Jun 2011	Re: our parents My parents knew that I was different, they just were not sure how. I was not like the normal girls that enjoyed to do girl things, I instead enjoyed to play with the guys toys. I also hated to dress like a girl. The thing that threw them off was that I love my long hair (although I really need to get it cut because now it's getting too long..) __________________ So many years have passed, since I proclaimed my independence, my mission, my aim, and my vision, so secure, content to live each day like it's my last, it's wonderful to know, that I could be, something more than what I dreamed, far beyond what I could see -Dream Theater

13th Nov 2011, 01:09 PM	#13
Mimerio Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Friends, Mum and Dad, teachers Location: London, England Age: 18 Posts: 229 Join Date: Sep 2011	Re: our parents Hmmm, I think they have had suspicions, or they are waiting for me to confirm said suspicions, my mother especially.

13th Nov 2011, 01:20 PM	#14
kellymporta EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: South America Age: 23 Posts: 265 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: our parents I think my mom has her suspicions because she has asked me several times about why I've never had a girlfriend and if I like girls or boys.

14th Nov 2011, 06:49 AM	#15
Alex15 Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I think guys are hot Out Status: Siblings, cousin, 3 others Location: Surrounded by the Old Repulican Vangard (Texas) Age: 22 Posts: 95 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: our parents I think my parents know, Dad probably doesn't want to admit it to himself, and my mom is so religious she thought I turned atheist because I took a biology class... So yes, her close ties to Christianity have probably already made her decision on whether or not she would be accepting or not for her. Sometimes I just wish I could tell them! But there is know way I'd be able to know what their reactions would be like, they are so hard to read!

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14th Nov 2011, 08:03 AM	#16
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,372 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: our parents My parents were mildly surprised if not shocked. But they always have been supportive, and they didn't let me down in this case, either. Lex

14th Nov 2011, 08:07 AM	#17
Allegro molto Kyoufu wo oshiete yarou. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 6 (100% Gay) Out Status: Officially told 1 person! Posts: 2,334 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: our parents I think my mother knows and that she's in denial. She even asked me before (I said no). As for the "trying to make you more gay so you'll come out" deal, yeah, no. She basically does the opposite...she tries/has tried to mold me into the "emotionless, hard, take-charge, macho stereotypical Black man" role... She's extremely homophobic, and I overheard a telephone conversation one night with her and one of her sisters saying she'd be heartbroken if one of her kids turned out to be gay. Oh, well. __________________ In the end, I always end up alone.

14th Nov 2011, 08:08 AM	#18
Aeon Magus EC's Blue Gaylien Full Member Gender: I go peepee standing up xD Orientation: I'm a Man's Man Out Status: The people that I care about most. Location: South Africa Posts: 2,260 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: our parents My mom was oblivious to who I really am. And she wasn't supportive at first, either. As time went on, she did, however. Ahhh... good ol' granma. Hahaha!! __________________ Sing me a Painting, I'll paint you a Song Inside my heart is breaking. My make-up may be flaking, but my smile still stays on. The show must go on.

14th Nov 2011, 08:56 PM	#19
midwestgirl89 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Interested in Women Out Status: Some people Age: 23 Posts: 559 Join Date: Jul 2011	Re: our parents My mom said she knew but only because I was in a bad depression after going through a (pretty much) break-up and after being outed at school. She was okay with it but just said it would be a harder life. She didn't have any clues before the depression though.