Good places for our first date and football games. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

don29002 · 13th Nov 2011, 06:36 PM

As most of you know, I have a crush on my friend Matt and we're both going to the movies together next Sunday, the 20 November.
But that Wednesday--Thanksgiving, the 23rd--me and my 2 friends are going to a school football game, and I'll invite Matt to go with me.

So I have some questions:

--Is the movies a great place to have a first date?
--Should I invite him to the game so soon?
--Think he'll say yes to my invitation?

vyvance · 13th Nov 2011, 10:52 PM

Movies work fine for first dates. Lets you spend some time together without having to talk the entire time. Helps break the ice.

Inviting him should be fine. I can't say what he will say though. I don't know him.

don29002 · 13th Nov 2011, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vyvance

Movies work fine for first dates. Lets you spend some time together without having to talk the entire time. Helps break the ice.

Inviting him should be fine. I can't say what he will say though. I don't know him.

Thanks for posting. Yeah they do. Responses are very mixed when I ask people these things; some say what you said and some say it's not a good place because we'd barely get the chance to talk and that dates are about opening up.
Yeah it should. And true, only he can tell me.
Also as a third time around, I'd come over his house or he'd come over my apartment I guess. Works fine.

Mirko · 13th Nov 2011, 11:19 PM

As for where, I wouldn't recommend the movies for a date. Given that two of your friends are going to be going to the game as well, and it seems like more of a friend get together for the game, I wouldn't count that as a date. Why not invite Matt, as a friend to the game? If you interpret your invitation as a date, does Matt know it is going to be a date? He might not see it as a date at all.

If you get the vibes that he might be interested in going on a date with you, why not ask him out after the game?

vyvance · 13th Nov 2011, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by don29002

Thanks for posting. Yeah they do. Responses are very mixed when I ask people these things; some say what you said and some say it's not a good place because we'd barely get the chance to talk and that dates are about opening up.
Yeah it should. And true, only he can tell me.
Also as a third time around, I'd come over his house or he'd come over my apartment I guess. Works fine.

I can see how some would think that, but unless you go see the movie and immediately go home, I don't see it being a problem. 1-2 hours at the movies getting comfortable around each other, then some time after to open up.

don29002 · 13th Nov 2011, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vyvance

Quote:

Originally Posted by don29002

Thanks for posting. Yeah they do. Responses are very mixed when I ask people these things; some say what you said and some say it's not a good place because we'd barely get the chance to talk and that dates are about opening up.
Yeah it should. And true, only he can tell me.
Also as a third time around, I'd come over his house or he'd come over my apartment I guess. Works fine.

I can see how some would think that, but unless you go see the movie and immediately go home, I don't see it being a problem. 1-2 hours at the movies getting comfortable around each other, then some time after to open up.

True, it wouldn't be a problem; think it would be alright if I invite him in my apartment--after the movie and after he drives me home--so we can do more together? (Get your mind out the gutter ahahaha!) I have my 2 laptops, TV, PS3, my numerous book collection, and 10 albums he could listen to. So there's a ton to do.
Btw I'm buying 8 more albums on Amazon so we'd both be singing along to stuff. On key and off haha but no mere mortal is perfect; the only thing that's perfect is the sky.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirko

As for where, I wouldn't recommend the movies for a date. Given that two of your friends are going to be going to the game as well, and it seems like more of a friend get together for the game, I wouldn't count that as a date. Why not invite Matt, as a friend to the game? If you interpret your invitation as a date, does Matt know it is going to be a date? He might not see it as a date at all.

If you get the vibes that he might be interested in going on a date with you, why not ask him out after the game?

Really? Then what do you recommend? Besides the theater and a football game at our high school, I'm out of ideas.
And no I don't see the game as a date either, but now I don't even know why I said that..
Anyway, I would ask him out after but I'm going to the game with a friend who works for DYFS (a Social Services type thing, but DYFS has mentors who come to a kid's house and they take them places they want to go--if the kid is antisocial, or other reasons.) and we're only allowed to be out--while I'm with her--for up to 5 hours a week so I don't know if I'm even allowed to BE out past when the game ends.
The good part about that, if Matt says yes, is we can really go somewhere and talk. And if we wanna go somewhere far together, he has a car--I don't drive yet--so I can just go with him.

Doctor Faustus · 13th Nov 2011, 11:59 PM

Going to the pictures (as we sometimes say here in the UK!) is a good idea, particularly if it's a film you're both keen to see. If nothing else, you can argue passionately about the merits and shortcomings of the film afterwards!
I, too, would invite Matt as a friend rather than a potential lover xD.
Hopefully he'll be receptive to those ideas.
Good luck and keep in touch,
F.

don29002 · 14th Nov 2011, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doctor Faustus

Going to the pictures (as we sometimes say here in the UK!) is a good idea, particularly if it's a film you're both keen to see. If nothing else, you can argue passionately about the merits and shortcomings of the film afterwards!
I, too, would invite Matt as a friend rather than a potential lover xD.
Hopefully he'll be receptive to those ideas.
Good luck and keep in touch,
F.

Awesome, I love all things British

(And American too haha, but there's something great about the UK too) And yeah I feel it should be a mutual agreement on what we want. Yeah we should

But when I ask people questions about things, mostly they say "Oh, I ___ ______" and I'd say "yeah" and our discussions would always go dead from there.
Maybe I should just tell him how I feel, about friendships and things; about me being shy and being kinda afraid to open up to people at first.
And yeah I'd tell him we'd go as friends.

And I always will keep in touch <3

vyvance · 14th Nov 2011, 12:45 AM

As for inviting him over to your apartment after, it depends on a lot of factors. Such as:
Are you good enough friends prior to dating that it would be normal for him to be over?
How did the date go?
How comfortable is he with the idea of you dating each other?
etc...

On top of that if you think he wouldn't be opposed to the idea, make sure your intentions are clear. Don't want him to think you are trying to get him into bed on the first date.

don29002 · 14th Nov 2011, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vyvance

As for inviting him over to your apartment after, it depends on a lot of factors. Such as:
Are you good enough friends prior to dating that it would be normal for him to be over?
How did the date go?
How comfortable is he with the idea of you dating each other?
etc...

On top of that if you think he wouldn't be opposed to the idea, make sure your intentions are clear. Don't want him to think you are trying to get him into bed on the first date.

My intentions are just as I said before. Friendly things and that's it. Although I'd like to get into bed with him, it never happens on a first date or with friends.
So it would never happen until we're fine.
And I'll tell him after the movie's done everything I have stated here.

13th Nov 2011, 06:36 PM	#1
don29002 Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 3--bisexual Out Status: Everyone except my cousins Location: New Jersey Age: 15 Posts: 158 Join Date: Jun 2011	Good places for our first date and football games. As most of you know, I have a crush on my friend Matt and we're both going to the movies together next Sunday, the 20 November. But that Wednesday--Thanksgiving, the 23rd--me and my 2 friends are going to a school football game, and I'll invite Matt to go with me. So I have some questions: --Is the movies a great place to have a first date? --Should I invite him to the game so soon? --Think he'll say yes to my invitation?

13th Nov 2011, 10:52 PM	#2
vyvance Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Location: Texas Age: 23 Posts: 234 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Good places for our first date and football games. Movies work fine for first dates. Lets you spend some time together without having to talk the entire time. Helps break the ice. Inviting him should be fine. I can't say what he will say though. I don't know him. Last edited by vyvance; 13th Nov 2011 at 10:55 PM.. Reason: spelling fail

13th Nov 2011, 11:19 PM	#4
Mirko Molitva Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out and about Location: British Columbia, Canada Age: 35 Posts: 10,058 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: Good places for our first date and football games. As for where, I wouldn't recommend the movies for a date. Given that two of your friends are going to be going to the game as well, and it seems like more of a friend get together for the game, I wouldn't count that as a date. Why not invite Matt, as a friend to the game? If you interpret your invitation as a date, does Matt know it is going to be a date? He might not see it as a date at all. If you get the vibes that he might be interested in going on a date with you, why not ask him out after the game? __________________ ~ Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are ~

13th Nov 2011, 11:59 PM	#7
Doctor Faustus EC's resident Philosopher at Large Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Not straight. But only interested in men. xD Out Status: People who ask me. People whom I trust. Location: Basingstoke Posts: 1,610 Join Date: Oct 2011	Re: Good places for our first date and football games. Going to the pictures (as we sometimes say here in the UK!) is a good idea, particularly if it's a film you're both keen to see. If nothing else, you can argue passionately about the merits and shortcomings of the film afterwards! I, too, would invite Matt as a friend rather than a potential lover xD. Hopefully he'll be receptive to those ideas. Good luck and keep in touch, F. __________________ "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa.

14th Nov 2011, 12:45 AM	#9
vyvance Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Location: Texas Age: 23 Posts: 234 Join Date: Nov 2011	Re: Good places for our first date and football games. As for inviting him over to your apartment after, it depends on a lot of factors. Such as: Are you good enough friends prior to dating that it would be normal for him to be over? How did the date go? How comfortable is he with the idea of you dating each other? etc... On top of that if you think he wouldn't be opposed to the idea, make sure your intentions are clear. Don't want him to think you are trying to get him into bed on the first date.